|
||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||
| |||||||||||||||
Frequently Bought Together
Product Details
|
Product Description
From Publishers Weekly
Author of nine books, including the controversial Punished by Rewards, Kohn expands upon the theme of what's wrong with our society's emphasis on punishments and rewards. Kohn, the father of young children, sprinkles his text with anecdotes that shore up his well-researched hypothesis that children do best with unconditional love, respect and the opportunity to make their own choices. Kohn questions why parents and parenting literature focus on compliance and quick fixes, and points out that docility and short-term obedience are not what most parents desire of their children in the long run. He insists that "controlling parents" are actually conveying to their kids that they love them conditionally—that is, only when they achieve or behave. Tactics like time-out, bribes and threats, Kohn claims, just worsen matters. Caustic, witty and thought-provoking, Kohn's arguments challenge much of today's parenting wisdom, yet his assertion that "the way kids learn to make good decisions is by making decisions, not by following directions" rings true. Kohn suggests parents help kids solve problems; provide them with choices; and use reason, humor and, as a last resort, a restorative time away (not a punitive time-out). This lively book will surely rile parents who want to be boss. Those seeking alternative methods of raising confident, well-loved children, however, will warmly embrace Kohn's message. (Mar.)Forecast: Kohn is a controversial and popular author/speaker, well regarded by scholars and educators. This title should appeal to parents who want to explore the "whys" and not just the "hows" of raising kids.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Review
"Unconditional Parenting is going to make you think--hard--about the type of relationship you want to have with your child, about your parenting priorities, and about how to avoid many of the mistakes of our predecessors. It's what we've come to expect from Alfie Kohn, and this is unquestionably one of his most persuasive, important works. For your sake and your child's...read it!"
--Ross W. Greene, The Explosive Child
"This book underscores an important parenting principle: Discipline is more about having the right relationship with your child than having the right techniques."
--William Sears, The Baby Book and The Discipline Book
"A gift to parents! Armed with voluminous research, Alfie Kohn exposes the harm inherent in widely accepted disciplinary practices and offers a variety of powerful alternatives that make it possible for children to become their most thoughtful, caring, responsible selves."
--Adele Faber, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
"Alfie Kohn holds a crucial position in the American dialogue on parenting. Unconditional Parenting is a very important book that can challenge, support, and even change our perspective on what parents do."
--Michael Gurian, The Wonder of Boys and The Wonder of Girls
"Alfie Kohn does it again: He takes a topic (parenting) that has been studied and written about for years and gives us a wise way of adjusting our lenses so that we really see it clearly. He doesn't give simple rules, he gives deep understanding and a core foundation for parents."
--JoAnn Deak, Girls Will Be Girls
Inside This Book
(Learn More)
First Sentence
I have sometimes derived comfort from the idea that, despite all the mistakes I've made (and will continue to make) as a parent, my children will turn out just fine for the simple reason that I really love them. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
I have sometimes derived comfort from the idea that, despite all the mistakes I've made (and will continue to make) as a parent, my children will turn out just fine for the simple reason that I really love them. Read the first page
Explore More
Concordance
Browse Sample PagesConcordance
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
Tags Customers Associate with This Product(What's this?)Click on a tag to find related items, discussions, and people.
|
What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?
Customer Reviews
|
Share your thoughts with other customers:
|
||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Most helpful customer reviews
21 of 21 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars
The Seed for the Future of Parenting,
By Anonymous Mom (Vancouver, BC, Canada) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason (Paperback)
In struggling to deal with my strong-willed 4-year-old daughter, I kept upping the ante, usually by yelling louder and coming up with more creative consequences. There were lots of "successes" but her outbursts at home seemed more desperate. Something in my gut said this just isn't working -- like I was getting her compliance at the expense of her self-esteem. I read Unconditional Parenting and the subtle concerns I had were in this book. Besides providing the history of time-outs, the author provides insights on common North American parenting strategies (rewards, punishments, "say, 'I'm sorry, Billy'", "say, 'Thank you'", "Ooo, what a pretty picture"), then provides a common sense look at who kids really are and what's behind our current style. Here was the seed for how I could guide my daughter without trying to manipulate her, and keep my respect and love for her intact. And I was shocked as it inadvertently explained the origin of issues I'm facing as an adult and the parenting I received that coincide with these. My husband and I started using concepts in the book and were much happier with the results we got with our daughter -- not compliance, but solutions that we chose together, leaving her with a genuine smile, and a sense of peace for us. But this is not a "do this" book. It's common sense and inspirational, and our change in approach fell immediately out of it. So, after several weeks, I plan to re-read this book, be re-inspired, and see if we can stride further. I hope to see more from this author and more on this style of parenting. I think this is the start of the future of North American parenting, with the goal on teaching children how to make decisions, and parents being able to sleep nights with our integrity intact.
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent book for any parent,
By
This review is from: Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason (Paperback)
This book is revolutionary in its approach to parenting. As is Gordon Neufeld's "Hold on to your kids". If you are finding that "time outs" and all the other advice you've gotten from people and books simply don't work, try this approach you will be amazed at how well it works. Only thing is you don't get recipes for discipline, but rather it teaches you to show love for your kids without rewards and/or punishments.One thing that really struck a chord for me was when he says that there's no question that all parents love their kids, the only problem is that very few kids feel loved unconditionally. And if kids don't feel loved unconditionally they can't really thrive.
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Breath of Fresh Air,
By
This review is from: Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason (Paperback)
I was a little reluctant to read this - I thought an extreme anti-punishment-of-any-kind stance would likely be flaky and fail to address important issues. I was very wrong. Kohn explains how important it is to adopt a different mindset that makes praise and punishment unnecessary - and his writing is surprisingly compelling. He anticipated all my questions and doubts and addressed them clearly. And it couldn't have come at a better time. There is already more peace in our home - better relationships AND better behavior. Kohn's humor and clear style also make for an easy read. Ross Greene's "Explosive Child" is also exceptional - and it's applicable to all kids (and perhaps all relationships).
Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review
Want to see more reviews on this item?
|
Most recent customer reviews |
Listmania!
Look for similar items by category
Look for similar items by subject
Feedback
Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
|
