Undead and Unreturnable [Mass Market Paperback]

I am a huge fan of MaryJanice Davidson's Undead series and I look forward to all of the installments. Her tongue-in-cheek approach to vampires is priceless. I also love the characters, especially Betsy, Jessica, Sinclair, Tina and Marc. And the bantering that goes on between them is hilarious to the max. Undead and Unreturnable is another gem as far as the quick-witted bantering and some character development are concerned; however, the plot is so thin it is almost non-existent. Betsy has quite a busy schedule. She is planning a traditional wedding to her consort and reluctant groom, the dark, gorgeous and stylish Sinclair, is getting ready for Christmas, agrees to babysit her newborn baby brother, and tries to keep her eye on her devil's spawn sister Laura. And now she has to worry about a serial killer preying on short-haired blondes with light eyes as well. She has to be careful, for she fits that description, but she also has to find the killer after one of his victims' ghost bothers Betsy to no end. There are various fun moments throughout the novel.

This novel, like all recent Davidson books, is disappointingly short, not much longer than an outline. The serial killer plot is very underdeveloped and is resorted in a quick, unsatisfactory way. The novel consists more of lighthearted bantering between Betsy, Sinclair and Jessica. Tina and Marc appear in a few scenes and nothing more. If anything, this novel is more centered on Betsy and Sinclair's relationship. I like that Davidson develops their relationship further in this offering, but sometimes the book in general seems chopped up and uneven. There is also some development centered on Laura, Betsy's sister, and how she has become all the creepier since Undead and Unappreciated. There is also a rather dark scene with Sinclair and Betsy that I like because it adds character depth and growth into the mix, no matter how fleeting the aforementioned character depth and growth may have been though. The characters remain great. I love self-centered Betsy, the darkly gorgeous Sinclair and the quick-witted Jessica. The vampire/librarian from previous MJD vampire novellas called Marjorie shows promise in this series and so does former Blade Warrior Jon and his suspicious interest in Betsy's life story. I guess what I'm saying is that there are some good, substantial moments in this short, light and at times lopsided continuation of the series. The novel is without a doubt hilarious. I laughed out loud as I read the novel, so Davidson's abilities with creating quips in her dialogues are still intact. And I know that she is still the same talented storyteller who wrote gems like Love's Prisoner and Undead and Unwed and I hope she will go back to that style of writing. She does leave some interesting cliffhangers for future offerings. I only hope that she will take her time in creating something more substantial and less abrupt next time.

Okay, I said I wouldn't, but I saw it at my local Border's and I spent the money. It's better than the last but that's not saying a lot. Judging from how quickly this one came out and the length of the two most recent books in the series, I remain convinced that Undead and Unappreciated and Undead and Unreturnable were meant to be one book, but got split up into two short, unsatisfactory pieces for monetary reasons. In this book, a little more happens, and a number of set-ups were put in place for future books: Sinclair's declaration that Betsy can have a baby if a living human is the father. Sinclair's inability to read Betsy's thoughts becomes an issue, as the Book of the Dead says that he should be able to. Laura's powers grow, and she seems more and more comfortable with the Devilish side of her make-up. This book is as poorly edited as the last. At one point, Betsy is riding in a car with Laura and a ghost. Laura makes a comment about being dead...except that she's not dead. Presumably the ghost was meant to have this line. Oh, well, it's still fun, and it's hard to blame an author who's finally hit it big, but in the end, she'll sell more if she keeps her fans happy, and stuff like this just won't do it for very long.

Okay, in sports movies there is always that "darkest moment" where everything seems hopeless just before the feel-good end. The last book, "Undead and Unappreciated" could have been that, which explains why this one was so lackluster- It seems to be the end of the series (but it won't be. And I'm not so sure that's a good thing.)

Betsy, Queen of the Undead, rides again. But where was Tina the snarky? Where was Jessica the snarky? Where was Marc the snarky? In this one these funny characters basically chew the scenery, except there is a very tiny subplot where Jessica gets laid.

Queen Betsy and her sister Laura, daughter of the devil, spend all their free time together in this one, making it boringly wholesome for the most part. Or, that is, all the time she has when Bets isn't having, well, surprisingly boring sex with King Eric. And given what we know of him, how could it be boring? Yet, it is.

Even the Ant is relegated to nothing in this book that seems...well, flat. Nothing really happens.

Bets can see ghosts and goes on errands, helping them talk to their loved ones. Jon, of the Blade Warriors from book 2, moves in and does a biography on Betsy that turns into a book...named "Undead and Unwed". Gee, how...original.

Betsy tells Eric a deep dark secret and this time, it's he is who is afraid of her. But now the honeymoon is over, and they seem like an old married couple, and about as interesting. Yet Eric remains very fleshed out and matures well in this book, grudgingly I admit Betsy is still as dumb as ever but more patient.

Laura loses her temper and it seems...could the prophecy be true? Will she take over the world? Unknown, as it's not explored as well as it could be; a good plot left to trail off. George becomes more human-like and learns a new stitch, but that's about all.

Oh, a serial killer is running around Minneapolis and his last victim is the only funny, snarky character in the book, following Bets around. But that plot fizzles as it only really crops up in the last 50 pages and is resolved instantly, tying into the bare bones "is Laura evil?" plot (that will surely be all that drives book 5.)

It's nowhere near as funny as the last 3 and the plot just doesn't grab me. If you haven't read this "Undead' series yet, skip it. For a funny heroine that always keeps going, I would say get hooked on the Stephanie Plum novels of Janet Evanovich. If you're a fellow long-time fan, well, all we can do is hope the next one is a little better.

Don't blow 20 some odd bucks on this. Wait for the paperback version, just head to the library or bookstore and read this if you can't wait.

And P.S. - hope this gets back to Ms, Davidson. Please stop using the word "rape" so callously, I, like many others, find it offensive. You use it too lightly and it undermines what a horrible crime it really is.