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Valentine

Denise Richards , David Boreanaz , Jamie Blanks    R (Restricted)   VHS Tape
3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (167 customer reviews)

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Product Details


Product Description

Amazon.ca

Five comely and well-to-do female friends receive dire threats inside anonymous valentines. When two of them meet violent ends, the remaining trio suspect that the killer may be a nebbishy former classmate whom they spurned years before at a school dance. Their solution: Throw a lavish Valentine's Day party, all the better to distract them from the hulking, cherub-masked killer...

As the above suggests, Valentine is the absolute nadir of the post-Scream slasher film. Australian director Jamie Blanks (whose previous effort was the equally dismal Urban Legend, 1998) obviously had lofty goals for his film, given his bald-faced homages to John Carpenter and Dario Argento. But he hasn't a clue as to how to generate suspense, and his frequent reliance on well-worn shock effects (hands dropping on shoulders, etc.) suggests more contempt for the genre than affection. No less than four writers (including two writer-producers for Roswell, which explains the appearance of series star Katherine Heigl) contributed to the screenplay, which fails to generate the twentysomething drama and hip, cutting dialogue required for this brand of horror. As the five friends, actresses Marley Shelton, Denise Richards, Jessica Capshaw, Jessica Caufield, and Heigl have little to do other than alternately look attractive or afraid; Richards, in particular, looks weary of playing the man-eater. As Shelton's dipsomaniac boyfriend, David Boreanaz (Angel) lumbers through each scene with an embarrassed scowl.

Warner Bros.' DVD includes commentary by Blanks, as well as cast and crew interviews and a video for Orgy's contribution to the noisy, new-metal soundtrack. --Paul Gaita


Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars A Good Horror Movie April 3 2013
Format:DVD|Verified Purchase
This movie was a pretty good movie, it was not one of my favourites but I did like it .
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2.0 out of 5 stars not impressed Oct. 19 2011
By Rose
Format:DVD
I had read this book before I saw the movie. I was so impressed with the book I bought the movie but was sadly disappointed. The took the very basic premise of the book then totally turned it into a slash/trash movie. The movie had no resemblance to the book which was engrossing and kept you guessing until the end. Its too bad when movies are made from books they can't keep the storyline the same.
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4.0 out of 5 stars above average for the genre (3.5/5) Dec 15 2007
By falcon
Format:DVD
as far as horror movies go,this one isn't bad at all.in fact,it's
pretty decent.i think one of the reasons is that it also liter in tone
than most of the genre.in fact,i'd even goes as far as to say it's a
horror/lite comedy.there are some good lines in here and some funny
scenes which work well.the movie is also a bit of a guessing game,as
there are a few possibilities as to who the killer is.and even at the
end,there is a bit of ambiguity.but it works here.as far as the acting
goes,i think it's certainly at least good enough for this genre.and the
movie doesn't really over do it on the gross out factor.most of the
deaths are not very graphic,which i didn't mind in this movie.also,the
characters aren't your typical stupid people that usually populate
theses kinds of movie.i also liked the music.it was refreshing for this
genre.when you add it all up,i think Valentine is an above average
movie for the genre.my vote:3.5/5
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5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome Horror Movie May 10 2005
By Chelcie
Format:DVD
This movie totally rocks! its not as scary as others and it isnt really gory, but I love the plot! A loser named Jeremy Melton(Joel Palmer) gets turned down by every girl he asks to dance at a Valentines day dance, then ends up getting beat up and ssent to reform school. Then he comes back 13 years later with an intricate revenge plot and kills off the girls who turned him down 1 by 1. But in my opinion, the guy who is supposed to be the ugly loser at the beginning of the movie is really hot, the hottest guy in the movie.
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1.0 out of 5 stars David Boreanaz Fans Don't Waste Your time. May 17 2004
By A Customer
Format:DVD
I was so disappointed with this film. I had hoped this movie would show off David Boreanaz's talent. Who knows. Maybe he doesn't have any, beyond what we see on Angel (I doubt that though). This role was a re-hash of Angel. Brooding and skulking. Don't ask him to try something new. Don't take advantage of his obvious comedic abilities. The ending was so obvious about 5 minutes into the film. Of course the ugly boy will become the handsome, sexy male. Gee, who'd a thunk it.
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3.0 out of 5 stars Look Out! March 19 2004
By Aaron
Format:DVD
Just a quick addendum to my review below. I just read Mr. Yoon Min Cho's review entitled "Garbage" (12/21/03). Whoahhhh! I do believe he protests too much! If all the reviewers here were characters in a slasher movie, I'd suspect Mr. Cho first!!! Easy now!
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3.0 out of 5 stars Denise Richards? I'm there. March 19 2004
By Aaron
Format:DVD
The characters weren't really likable. As the supposed killer sought revenge on the folks who tortured him in school, I didn't mind that they got killed. That's a new twist for me. No problem there... but with stiff acting and dull sets, no tension built up. So when the killer went after each victim, I fast forwarded (knowing I would miss no dialogue) through the soundtrack and visual cliches. But I didn't fast forward through Denise Richards at the hot tub... there was tension... not from fear :-). Most of the actors are good looking and "hip," like a Melrose Place episode. But the character development is so weak, I had a hard time remembering who was who: "Which skinny straight haired blonde with an 'oh ma god' tone is this one?" And the killer in the mask looks a lot like John, Ponch's partner in CHIPS. Not too scary :-). The ending was much better than I expected. But I expected a weak ending in part because the build up was weak. In short: good looking folks, Denise Richards, hot tub, good ending.
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3.0 out of 5 stars eh... March 13 2004
Format:DVD
OK. This will not go down as a great horror classic. Even Denise Richards as the main eye candy can't really raise this film above mediocre.
A kid is humiliated at a junior high dance and seeks revenge. Not against the guys who beat him up, but the girls who wouldn't dance with him. The only person J.M. should have went after was the girl who lied and said she was attacked when it was obvious she liked what was going on behind the bleachers.
The kills are OK, the body bag neck slice could have been better though. The arrows to the stomach and dumpster fall was OK. Denise in the hot tub was by far the best kill. It kind of reminded me of those arcade whack-a-mole games. (I'm up! Drill!)
The ending had a cute little twist, but it wasn't hard to figure out. So not only is her boyfriend an alcoholic, he's a psychotic killer who not only kills her friends, but gets her friend blamed for it.
Advice for future horror film makers. A hockey mask works. A Michael Myers mask works. A burned up face and a dirty hat works. A retarded cupid doll mask.....does not work.
I did like the freak dude Gary down the hall though. Hey Kate! Be my Mate! Want a date? Is it too late? Can't wait! Have you ate? It's fate. Don't hate.
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