Five comely and well-to-do female friends receive dire threats inside anonymous valentines. When two of them meet violent ends, the remaining trio suspect that the killer may be a nebbishy former classmate whom they spurned years before at a school dance. Their solution: Throw a lavish Valentine's Day party, all the better to distract them from the hulking, cherub-masked killer...
As the above suggests, Valentine is the absolute nadir of the post-Scream slasher film. Australian director Jamie Blanks (whose previous effort was the equally dismal Urban Legend, 1998) obviously had lofty goals for his film, given his bald-faced homages to John Carpenter and Dario Argento. But he hasn't a clue as to how to generate suspense, and his frequent reliance on well-worn shock effects (hands dropping on shoulders, etc.) suggests more contempt for the genre than affection. No less than four writers (including two writer-producers for Roswell, which explains the appearance of series star Katherine Heigl) contributed to the screenplay, which fails to generate the twentysomething drama and hip, cutting dialogue required for this brand of horror. As the five friends, actresses Marley Shelton, Denise Richards, Jessica Capshaw, Jessica Caufield, and Heigl have little to do other than alternately look attractive or afraid; Richards, in particular, looks weary of playing the man-eater. As Shelton's dipsomaniac boyfriend, David Boreanaz (Angel) lumbers through each scene with an embarrassed scowl.
Warner Bros.' DVD includes commentary by Blanks, as well as cast and crew interviews and a video for Orgy's contribution to the noisy, new-metal soundtrack. --Paul Gaita --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
A kid is humiliated at a junior high dance and seeks revenge. Not against the guys who beat him up, but the girls who wouldn't dance with him. The only person J.M. should have went after was the girl who lied and said she was attacked when it was obvious she liked what was going on behind the bleachers.
The kills are OK, the body bag neck slice could have been better though. The arrows to the stomach and dumpster fall was OK. Denise in the hot tub was by far the best kill. It kind of reminded me of those arcade whack-a-mole games. (I'm up! Drill!)
The ending had a cute little twist, but it wasn't hard to figure out. So not only is her boyfriend an alcoholic, he's a psychotic killer who not only kills her friends, but gets her friend blamed for it.
Advice for future horror film makers. A hockey mask works. A Michael Myers mask works. A burned up face and a dirty hat works. A retarded cupid doll mask.....does not work.
I did like the freak dude Gary down the hall though. Hey Kate! Be my Mate! Want a date? Is it too late? Can't wait! Have you ate? It's fate. Don't hate.
Most recent customer reviews
This movie was a pretty good movie, it was not one of my favourites but I did like it .Published on April 3 2013 by Jennifer Scott
I had read this book before I saw the movie. I was so impressed with the book I bought the movie but was sadly disappointed. Read morePublished on Oct. 19 2011 by Rose
as far as horror movies go,this one isn't bad at all.in fact,it's
pretty decent.i think one of the reasons is that it also liter in tone
than most of the genre. Read more
This movie totally rocks! its not as scary as others and it isnt really gory, but I love the plot! A loser named Jeremy Melton(Joel Palmer) gets turned down by every girl he asks... Read morePublished on May 10 2005 by Chelcie
I was so disappointed with this film. I had hoped this movie would show off David Boreanaz's talent. Who knows. Read morePublished on May 17 2004
Just a quick addendum to my review below. I just read Mr. Yoon Min Cho's review entitled "Garbage" (12/21/03). Whoahhhh! I do believe he protests too much! Read morePublished on March 19 2004 by Aaron
This movie reminds me of the scream trilogy. Some outkast from someones past wanting revenge for this time something about what looks like a broken heart? Read morePublished on Feb. 24 2004 by david dewitt
Let me start out by saying that this movie will make the easily scared piss their pants! The origionality of this film is so hard to come by these days. Read morePublished on Feb. 15 2004 by Kathy
JUST WHAT THE WORLD NEEDED, ANOTHER SCREAM-TYPE HORROR MOVIE. A MISTREATED BOY GROWS UP TO BE A SERIAL KILLER. JUST YOUR AVERAGE TEENAGE HORROR FLICK. Read morePublished on Dec 16 2003 by MICHAEL TAYLOR