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Virtual Virgin: Delilah Street: Paranormal Investigator [Mass Market Paperback]

Carole Nelson Douglas

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Book Description

Nov. 29 2011 Delilah Street; Paranormal Investigator
She’s Like a Virgin . . . Simulated for the Very First Time

For a red-blooded male, Las Vegas offers a virtual smorgasbord of temptation: sexy showgirls, vampy vampires, zombie starlets, you name it. But paranormal investigator Delilah Street isn’t worried about losing her man to these vixens. Especially when the one woman with a soft spot for the guy also has a hard-shelled exterior. . . .

She’s a robot—or a CinSim, to be exact—a near-perfect simulation of the silver-metal robot Maria from the classic science fiction movie Metropolis. Part innocent teenage actress, part depraved sex goddess, the new Maria is hooked on Delilah’s partner, Ric, who raised her from the dead. She also happens to be the perfect secret weapon for a demonic drug lord. Which could be one hell of a problem. Delilah’s not the jealous type, but this tin-can temptress must be stopped—even if it forces Delilah to forge a dangerous alliance with her wicked mirror-twin, Lilith. If robo-girl goes ballistic, every player in Vegas loses. . . .

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Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 384 pages
  • Publisher: Pocket Books (Nov. 29 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1439167796
  • ISBN-13: 978-1439167793
  • Product Dimensions: 17 x 10.4 x 3 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 181 g
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #705,001 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

About the Author

Carole Nelson Douglas, author of more than fifty fantasy and science fiction, mystery, mainstream, and romance novels, was an award-winning reporter and editor for the St. Paul Pioneer Press. After writing some bestselling high fantasy novels and SF thrillers, she imported fantasy notions into her Midnight Louie mystery series, which features a hard-boiled Las Vegas PI who’s a feline “Sam Spade with hairballs.” Her Irene Adler historical series made Carole the first author to use a woman from the Sherlock Holmes stories as a protagonist in the 1991 New York Times Notable Book of the Year, Good Night, Mr. Holmes. She’s won or been short-listed for more than fifty writing awards in nonfiction, sf/fantasy, mystery, and romance genres, including several from the Romance Writers of America and Romantic Times BOOKreviews magazine, and the Cat Writers’ Association. In 2008, RT BOOKreviews magazine named Carole a “pioneer of the publishing industry. Carole and husband Sam Douglas, a former art museum exhibitions director and kaleidoscope designer, are kept as pets by five stray cats and a dog in Fort Worth, Texas. She collects vintage clothing, and does a mean Marilyn Monroe impersonation, and, yes, she does dance, but not with werewolves. As far as she knows.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter One

THE CADAVER KID isn’t such a kid anymore and he isn’t in the FBI anymore either.

Yet here he stands in Quantico, Virginia, a guest lecturer with an attentive audience.

And there’s still a cadaver on tap. And it’s horny.

Death and sex, that’s where it’s always at in criminal matters.

Behind the Kid, an eight-foot-wide screen displays a decomposed human corpse that would make any CSI TV show producer proud.

Its muted gray, black, and beige tones don’t offer the graphic punch of color. The photo was obviously shot at night. Still, the grinning skull shows a pair of small, ramlike horns, two ribbed ridges growing back from where the hairline would start.

Welcome to post–Millennium Revelation crime scene issues. It’s not just who the corpse du jour is, but what.

I’m sitting at the back of the room, the Cadaver Kid’s anonymous but proud significant other. I’d been introduced as a “consulting partner” when the senior agent in charge had escorted us in. He’d found us quite the “dramatic pair.”

This is my partner’s solo show, though, and I’m happy to play wallpaper. I’m wearing my dullest TV reporter navy-blue suit, chosen to blend in here, but when we’re a duo my Snow White looks are the cream in Ric’s rich, Latino coffee-bar coloring.

Besides, he looks so great in the foreground.

Ricardo Montoya left the FBI in his midtwenties for freelance consulting work and landed a reunion lecturer spot before he’s even pushing thirty, but he’s cool with not being part of the dark-suit-and-tie crowd anymore.

No monotone façade that reads “FBI Agent” for him. His usual pale tropical-weight suit would look good on Brad Pitt. It also proclaims he’s from a hot climate and a hot crime town, Las Vegas, Nevada,

So do the Lucchese cowboy boots whose pointy roach-stomping toes peek discreetly from his pant legs. They warn he might have a switchblade or two on him to handle a motorcycle gang on instant notice.

He’s been introduced today as a former agent “phenomenally gifted” at finding buried corpses. Hence the nickname.

The Cadaver Kid surveys the large conference room converted to a mini-auditorium in his honor.

Once the Kid had to keep his methods secret from his FBI colleagues. Now the agency has lightened up and smartened up. Ric’s been invited here to confess just how “phenomenally gifted” the FBI’s legendary Cadaver Kid was. I get to watch.

“We all know the Three D’s of Finding Bodies 101,” Ric begins. “Directions, Dogs, Digging.”

A knowing chuckle shivers through the audience, all models of the modern FBI agent, serious, dark-suited people in their early twenties. They’re relaxed enough to show a sense of humor. Good. He’s going to take them into the horror side soon enough.

He paces like an attorney in court, keeping eye contact with the most people possible. “The perpetrator or a witness or the investigation team itself supplies Directions to where the body might be.”

Ric picks a remote control off the desk. A dark, woodsy site fills the screen. “If the area is large and success isn’t forthcoming, we bring in the cadaver Dog teams.” Another slide of dogs at work, oddly resembling truffle-hunting pigs in France. “And then we Dig.”

In the next image Ric clicks to the screen to focus on a body freshly pulled from an excavated hole.

The audience has been nodding along with Ric, not nodding off. He’s showing procedure as usual but each body and every “dig” is different and fascinating for different reasons. I can hear the unspoken question. “When will we see a close-up of those weird horns?”

Ric steps around the tabletop lectern. “To find bodies when I worked with the FBI, I used a fourth D.” He holds up an odd object, a fallen branch from the thick brush that so often surrounds body dumping grounds.

“A Dowsing rod,” Ric announces, being definitely dramatic in his own right.

I study the audience as their murmuring profiles turn to one another. Polite frowns indicate attention but not full understanding. Yet.

“This fork of willow wood,” Ric says with a smile, “was the Cadaver Kid’s secret weapon for all those remarkable body finds I made while with the Bureau. Even though it was long after the Millennium Revelation, my superiors called it ‘gifted profiling.’ This small forked stick is my trade secret. It was all I used and absolutely free for the taking.”

Now they laugh softly.

“Let’s see if there are any buried bodies beneath this conference room.”

“Oooh,” the audience coos in spooky unison. Somebody hums the iconic Twilight Zone theme music. “The truth is out there, Mulder,” someone else shouts.

Ric grins. “This just a demonstration. I promise no corpses will be harmed.”

His wrists twist, forcing his hands and the Y end of the implement downward.

“Here I’m obviously moving the dowsing or divining rod myself. In the wild, I use my strength to hold it level until some possibly chemical-magnetic force rotates the wood in my hands so forcibly I can’t keep it from spinning until the end stem points due Down. One last D.”

Everyone chuckles. Are they solid D students now?

“I’ll paraphrase an infamous politician, ladies and gentlemen. I am not a water witch. That’s what dowsers are sometimes called. My family was adept at finding water. I dowsed up dead lizards instead, not a valued gift in the desert.”

Murmurs stir the crowd as people consult one another on how much of this to believe.

“The force is really undeniable,” Ric continues, now sounding like Luke Skywalker from Star Wars. “Perhaps we can hold a future talk at the Body Farm so you all can get some hands-on experience. I can work through anyone, true believer or skeptic.

“The Millennium Revelation, as you know and are now allowed to admit and use in your profession, intensified any borderline paranormal abilities ordinary humans had. Its major effect was bringing unhumans out of their protective shadows and into our twenty-first-century lives in many roles . . . unsuspected neighbor, possible ally, victim of hate crimes or violator of the law, enemy of the state, and perpetrator of crimes against humanity undreamed of.”

Ric leans against the front of the desk, the object in his hands now the focus of every eye. The rod reminds me of the chopped-off forked tongue of a giant snake. He’s holding a branch of the fork in each fist with the stem of the Y aimed at the audience like a gun barrel.

“I call on Miss Delilah Street to stand and testify. She knows I only needed to touch the backs of her hands on a dowsing rod to dredge up the dead.”

I stand.

A wolf whistle shrieks from somewhere and another anonymous guy calls, “The pretty shill in the audience, Montoya. Cheap trick.”

I can see Ric smolder from fifty feet away at someone inadvertently calling me a “cheap trick,” but I can speak for myself.

“Can you argue with his FBI record?” I ask. “I’m a former award-winning TV reporter, no shill and no patsy, and I don’t believe in water dowsing.”

That gets the group mumbling again, bewildered that I’m not supporting the speaker who’d introduced me.

“But I do believe in dead dowsing,” I go on, “because the Vegas police dug up the seventy-five-year-old bones of an embracing couple on the park site where”—How am I going to put this delicately for a mostly male crowd? Not possible—“where I saw and felt the dowsing rod act as if it had a twenty-mule team pulling it.”

The mental picture of the mules distracts attention from how I saw and felt the dowsing rod perform, which is just too, too phallic for bureaucrats. The audience quiets as I sit back down.

“Most authorities,” Ric reminds them, “most people don’t believe anyone can water dowse, or dowse for precious ores and stones, much less the dead. Traditionally dowsers favor certain tree woods, like willow, but most can also use bent metal rods, glass, or improvise with a coat hanger if necessary. I’ve even dowsed with barbed wire.”

A mass intake of breath makes the room seem to sigh. The audience has made the leap to realizing how painful that would be . . . barbed wire spinning in your palms so hard and fast the point of the Y aims down.

Ric nods. “Tore my hands up on that occasion, ladies and gentlemen, but the blood is necessary for stage two of my facility. When my blood drops to the ground where the dowsing rod has indicated it harbors a body, the dead will rise.”

Actual gasps fill the room.

Ric clicks a 3-D night scene into life on the screen behind him. At first glance, to me, it looks like a still from the first great zombie movie, the black-and-white Night of the Living Dead.

“This is a night shot of a desert ranch I call the Lazy Z,” he explains. “I’m not presenting a day scene because I don’t want any landmarks to betray its location. These are zombies I’ve reclaimed from the traffic in unhumans across the Mexican border.”

A horse ambles through the corral, led by a poky cowpoke.

“Is the horse a zombie?” a smart-ass voice calls from the audience.

“No. Horses ca...

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.0 out of 5 stars  15 reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Lang's Expressionistic Metropolis vs. Delilah Street's Vegas Feb. 3 2012
By Elf2060 - Published on
Format:Mass Market Paperback
"Virtual Virgin" by Carole Nelson Douglas is the fifth in her popular `Delilah Street: Paranormal Investigator' series. Ricardo (Ric) Montoya, aka The Cadaver Kid, and Delilah Street are trying to find a way to deal with the CinSim who was drawn from the movie `Metropolis'. Unfortunately the robot-like being is fixated on the man who resurrected her, Ric, a fact which is of concern to both Delilah and Ric himself. The murky world of Vegas makes it difficult to determine who are allies and who have ulterior motives and Delilah, her trusty `dog' Quicksilver, the mysterious silver familiar that morphs according to the situation and the voice in her head (Irma) set out on several quests for information. Delilah's ability to use silver combined with the aftereffects of having shared the Brimstone Kiss lead her on a trip into the mirrors with her sister Lilith on a quest to find their mother but she ends up with more questions than answers. Ric must also face the responsibilities conferred by his powers and juggle the demands upon him even as he continues to refine his relationship with Delilah. Vampires, werewolves, mobsters, mysterious recluses, arcane magic and silver screen references abound in this complex dark paranormal tale.

This is a very complicated book that has a bewildering number of plotlines and characters for the uninitiated. The author has an impressive knowledge of a wide variety of facts related to the film personas as well as the actors themselves in multiple famous black and white movies and weaves them together with intriguing snippets about larger-than-life characters such as Howard Hughes and Las Vegas itself which has its own distinctive personality. Unfortunately I have not read the prior books in the series so I was floundering a bit trying to grasp the different implications of the CinSims, the various males interested in Delilah, the witches who aren't seen (although I would love to have a wardrobe witch to conjure up the appropriate ensemble for a particular day), vampires who are trying to convert to an alternative drink, gods who don't know they are on a different continent in a new era, etc. The author's distinctive voice gives her inimitable flair to a unique tale that gives a different perspective to the denizens that populate Las Vegas and other areas but do yourself a favor and read the other books in the series first!

© Night Owl Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Douglas' Delilah Sept. 28 2012
By Metals Girl - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I have enjoyed Carole Nelson Douglas' Midnight Louie series for multiple years and was sold on Delilah Street from the first book. Allusions to certain TV series, actors, and mixing in the paranormal/magical/etc. is just fun for my restless mind! I also love the mixology-beverages named Vampire's Kiss and then some. Handsome love interest,(maybe more than one?), a wolf dog familiar guardian (my choice if you asked), Cinsims, B/W films--there is just lots to love about this series. I especially appreciate stories that can take me on a mental vacation from reality but still provoke thought in the 'I wonder' or 'what if' variations on the story at hand.
4.0 out of 5 stars Really enjoy this series and the twists in it Sept. 14 2014
By mspsdbp49 - Published on
Format:Mass Market Paperback|Verified Purchase
Really enjoy this series and the twists in it, just wish there were more. It presents a different viewpoint in the paranormal
world, and I like that zombies aren't just mindless drooling, flesh-eaters. I like that personalities have been imprinted on them, and that they have made these movie personalities their own. The main character, Delilah Street, is one I really like. Her personality and guts are ones I find interesting.
5.0 out of 5 stars Love this series Aug. 12 2014
By brenda mckenzie - Published on
Format:Mass Market Paperback
Love this series. Right up there with the Dark Series (which is my number one series, so far). Love Delilah Street. I believe I misspelled her name. In one of the review. Which I believe was the Sea Haven series. I love the vampire, werewoves, zombies, and Cinsim (people from the silver screen like Bogart transfer into zombie host) and the main characters.
5.0 out of 5 stars love Carole Nelson Douglas Feb. 5 2014
By dwszoo - Published on
Format:Mass Market Paperback|Verified Purchase
just started reading the series but like her midnight Louie series it grabs hold and doesn't let go. if you like paranormal mysteries and the author then these are a must read.

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