Wake Up, I'm Fat! [Paperback]

You already know Camryn Manheim can act. She won the Emmy Award as the don't-mess-with-me attorney Ellenor Frutt on The Practice. Manheim made the ceremony itself entertaining by hoisting her trophy and hollering, "This is for all the fat girls!"

But can she write? Yes. This memoir is by turns funny ("If Barbie were a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions") and excruciating. It helps that the material was honed in a one-woman show that sold out at New York's big-deal Public Theater, but the subject matter was strange and interesting in the first place. Manheim could not possibly be a less likely candidate for artistic and commercial success on TV. Born Debi Manheim in Peoria, the very metaphor for mainstream culture, Manheim re-created herself as a dozen-earringed California biker chick, a Renaissance Faire wench, a protester who helped drive the Miss California Pageant out of Santa Cruz, and one of 28 actors in America accepted at NYU's exclusive graduate school. In her book, Manheim gets even with her cruel, fat-bashing teachers; credits the director who gave her her first ingenue lead role (Tony Kushner, who cast her in Fen); and tells how the same temper that got her booted from school and arrested also won her the TV role that made her name.

There's good gossip for drama buffs. Manheim ribs her famous boss David Kelley within an inch of her livelihood; rips into Celeste Holm for cattiness backstage in Clare Boothe Luce's The Women; and opines that Bridget Fonda, whom she got naked next to in a movie, "could use a sandwich." But it's the private-life stuff that sticks with you. Read her touching, hilarious account of a personal-ad date from hell, and how she got even by picking up the hunky model who plays the Marlboro Man. She is not making this up! --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

"This is for all the fat girls!" Manheim proclaimed, as she hoisted up her 1998 Emmy statuette for all the world to see. The award for her work as Ellenor Frutt on the television drama The Practice was also sweet recompense for a lifetime of fighting prejudice about her weight, of coming to terms with her insecurities and of feeling that she had finally made her parents proud. Manheim's passion and honesty are evident throughout her accessible narrative. No subject is off-limits, from family conflicts to professional discrimination, from her sexuality to what goes on behind the scenes at the Emmys. Always irreverent, witty and compassionate, Manheim talks openly of her experiences as a fat teenager dealing with her family's disapproval of her weight and of using drugs, including crystal meth, to keep her weight down and gain acceptance with her peers. She details her struggle to become an actor, of standing up to prejudice among drama teachers and directors and of demanding more realistic portrayals of fat women through her characters. In the end, her size has helped shape her politics and feminism: "My fat... taught me not to be average, not to conform, not to go quietly. It made me a fighter." Not just for all the fat girls, Manheim's story holds appeal for everyone who has ever let insecurity hold them back from realizing their dreams. Agent, Alexander Smithline of Vigliano Associates. $100,000 ad/promo; author tour; 22-city TV satellite tour; 20-city radio satellite tour.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Emmy Award-winning actress Manheim wants you to know that she is fat and proud of it. Manheim is an "in-your-face" advocate for fat acceptance who practices what she preaches by challenging standards of beauty in her life and work, as evidenced by such seemingly small but significant battles as choosing her own wardrobe for her on-screen portrayals. An offshoot of her one-woman show, Manheim's biography chronicles her personal struggle to come to terms with her own self-image. From her formative years in California as a typical teenager traumatized by body type, to her self-loathing as a vibrant (and strident) acting student at NYU, to her "backlash" in the form of critically acclaimed performances on stage and screen, hers has been a quest for self-acceptance. Manheim is opinionated and raucous, charismatic and convincing. Her confrontational style is abrasive, at times shrill, and not for the fainthearted. But she gets her point across in anecdotes that are alternately hilarious and harrowing. You'll emerge from the experience firmly ensconced on the side of the author. Recommended for celebrity biography collections.
-AJayne Plymale, Aiken, SC
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Manheim, an Emmy Award^-winning television actress (ABC's The Practice), details her lifelong struggle with weight in this refreshingly blunt, charismatic tale of self-loathing, self-exploration, and ultimately, self-acceptance. Overweight since the age of 12, Manheim has endured quite a bit of fat-related horror, and she details it in quite fascinating detail, with an eye not so much toward revenge but toward setting the record straight--that this is how society treats the overweight. Her parents openly expressed their disapproval of her size, and at one point (when she was a bit older) her father even encouraged cigarette smoking as an appetite suppressant. She also details her life and weight problems during high school, the discrimination she faced as an acting student at NYU, relationship problems, a brief fling with speed and diet pills, and the cutting comments, innuendo, and thoughtless remarks that society at large often feels free to make to overweight people. It has a happy ending, though; just as she finds peace and self-acceptance, her career hits the big time. Kathleen Hughes --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

A stand-up story of being fat in a thin-is-in culture from the Emmy Awardwinning actress who plays a spirited lawyer on ABC's The Practice. Born in Peoria as Debra (``a name with no character, no euphony, no style''), the author was thin until her family moved to Southern California. There, where thin really mattered, she grew tall (510") and wide; with no place for her in the usual high school cliques (jock, cheerleader, even the nerds), she smoked marijuana and faked acid trips with the druggies. Summer jobs as a ``wench'' at the local Renaissance Faires, where ``women like me were worshipped'' bolstered her self-confidence. The University of California at Santa Cruz introduced her to radical feminist politics, and graduate study at New York University's theater school to public humiliation: one teacher persisted in interrogating her in class regarding ``what [she was] going to do about [her] body.'' She challenged him and others like him, but faced by rejection from agents, producers, and even (she believed) by her parents because of her weight, she learned to hate herself. In search of her lost self-confidence, she explored the world of fat fanciers via personal ads and found both a supportive community and a frightening underworld of S/M, where women let themselves be force-fed into gaining hundreds of pounds. Meanwhile, her acting resum continued to accumulate credits, including a role in the film Wellness and a one-woman show, Wake Up, I'm Fat, that eventually led to both her TV role and this book. She credits her family's history of political activism with her current activism on behalf of fat women. Rosie O'Donnell wrote the foreword. Amusing, gossipy, frank, but also replete with stories of the psychic nicks and scrapes that fat people face every day as a result of ``society's contempt for people like me.'' (15 b&w photos) ($100,000 ad/promo; TV/radio satellite tour) -- Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

"A liberated, humorous, triumphant story...the writing is as fresh and as friendly as the Emmy winner's speech. Anyone could benefit from her lessons in living large."
--Entertainment Weekly

"Manheim's wit runs from impish to slashing; this may be the funniest book about fat acceptance ever written."
--Dallas Morning News

"Wake Up, I'm Fat! is the heartfelt and ballsy story of how [Manheim] learned to be comfortable in her own skin...Inspiring without being soap Oprah-ish, Manheim is a natural writer; she has fine powers of description (her chapter on Emmy night is at once dishy and spellbinding)...her dignity and self-reliance are downright refreshing."
--Salon

"A funny, wickedly candid book."
--Good Housekeeping

"An open and unabashed look at being fat that's crammed with funny, poignant, and painful insights."
--Parade

In this New York Times-bestselling inspirational memoir, Camryn Manheim, Emmy Award-winning costar of The Practice, chronicles her journey from a self-hating, "overweight" teenager, who desperately wanted to fit in, to a self-loving, fat activist who is proud to be a misfit.  Wake Up, I'm Fat! shares her intelligent, candid, poignant, and often hilarious stories of being fat in a society obsessed with being thin.

Camryn takes us from her days as a motorcycle-riding hippie in Santa Cruz to her enrollment at New York University's prestigious school of drama--where Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Tony Kushner broke the unspoken theater rules of size by casting her in the role of the ingenue--and finally to Hollywood, where she dispelled the fallacy that large women can't be portrayed as sensual, sophisticated, and confident.

Camryn's endearing honesty, sass, and razor-sharp wit will appeal to any reader who has ever felt like an outcast or yearned to make peace with their body.

"A liberated, humorous, triumphant story...the writing is as fresh and as friendly as the Emmy winner's speech. Anyone could benefit from her lessons in living large."
--Entertainment Weekly

"Manheim's wit runs from impish to slashing; this may be the funniest book about fat acceptance ever written."
--Dallas Morning News

"Wake Up, I'm Fat! is the heartfelt and ballsy story of how [Manheim] learned to be comfortable in her own skin...Inspiring without being soap Oprah-ish, Manheim is a natural writer; she has fine powers of description (her chapter on Emmy night is at once dishy and spellbinding)...her dignity and self-reliance are downright refreshing."
--Salon

"A funny, wickedly candid book."
--Good Housekeeping

"An open and unabashed look at being fat that's crammed with funny, poignant, and painful insights."
--Parade

Camryn Manheim is an actor, activist, writer, and playwright who rides a Honda CB650, and whose current role as the smart, passionate, combative attorney Ellenor Frutt on ABC's The Practice earned her an Emmy Award and a Golden Globe Award for best supporting actress in a drama. Her film credits include Happiness, Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, The Road to Wellville, Eraser, Mercury Rising and Wide Awake.  She holds a master's degree in acting from NYU and is proud to have performed in most of New York's off-Broadway theaters, winning an Obie Award and an Encore Award for her performance in Craig Lucas's Missing Persons. In 1994 she brought her acclaimed one-woman show, Wake Up, I'm Fat!, to the Joseph Papp Public Theater.  She divides her time between New York and Los Angeles, but is registered to vote in New York.

Foreword
by Rosie O'Donnell

Tucking.

There. I said it. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I tucked once. I'll never forget it. It was 1982, "An Evening at the Improv" hosted by Cicely Tyson, and there, on national television, you could see it. The unmistakable line of the top of my pants as my shirt discreetly disappeared below. I had tucked. Not only had I tucked, I garnished the entire experience with a belt. Shocking, but true.

For most people, tucking is a nonevent. But for those of us who tend to the round, it isn't so simple. To tuck or not to tuck? That is the question. It comes loaded with issues of self-perception and self-acceptance.

Camryn Manheim is a tucker--a proud and consistent tucker. To me, her tucking is emblematic of her journey to be defined and, most important, to define herself on her own terms. In her hands, tucking is a celebration.

Wake Up, I'm Fat! is the work of a loud and independent spirit that ultimately refused to be constrained by shame. The push-pull of weight as an armor or albatross, the internal deals and monologues, the yearning to be on the inside while eternally feeling on the outside are explored with a courageous honesty. We see her struggle to shed the layers of self-loathing and replace them with a sense of her own value. We see her slowly accept herself. The story here is of a heart, mind, and soul that learned they deserved to be held in equal measure to their external package--no matter who or what said otherwise. The achievement of that exquisite balance is exhilarating and inspiring. In short, a great read.

I watched Camryn win her first Emmy Award and, along with millions of women, cheered as she dedicated it to "all the fat girls" out there. When she asked me to write the foreword to this book, there was no way I could refuse. Camryn Manheim is a compassionate maverick. She built the bandwagon and she is pulling it. I, for one, am jumping on.

--Rosie O'Donnell


Author's Note

For most of my life I was waiting for my life to begin. When I was ten, all I wanted was to be thirteen . . . so I could finally be a teenager. When I was thirteen, I was just waiting to be sixteen . . . so I could drive. Then I was waiting to be eighteen . . . so I could vote. Then I had to wait three more years to be twenty-one . . . so I could drink. When I was twenty-one, I was waiting for college to be over, so my life could finally start. And then there was graduate school, and life certainly couldn't start there. And then I was twenty-eight, thinking now my life can finally start. But then another year passed and I was twenty-nine, waiting for a great apartment, then I was thirty and waiting for a great job, and then I was thirty-one and waiting for a great boyfriend so my life could finally start.

Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. All my life I was waiting for my life to begin, as if my life were somehow way up ahead of me, and one day I would just arrive there. I've wanted to write a book for ten years now, but I was waiting. Waiting to be thin, so I could write about what it was like to be fat and how I emerged the righteous champion: the conqueror of my fat!

But a few years ago I finally realized something. My life was not way up ahead of me. I was standing smack dab in the middle of it. In fact, I was standing on the corner of "Life" and "You better get going, Camryn," and the way I saw it, I had two choices: I could either cross that street or just keep waiting for a few more years of green lights to go by.

I no longer wanted to be a bystander, a spectator watching my life unfold. I wanted to be the writer, director, and star of my story. And so, in August 1993, I began work on my one-woman show, Wake Up, I'm Fat! Despite that chronic, nagging feeling that I had nothing particularly special to offer, I realized that there was one area in which I was an expert. I knew every nook and cranny of what it was like to grow up fat in America. And guess what, it's no fucking picnic. To make matters worse, I was cursed with a singular passion for acting. Not astronomy. Not veterinary medicine. Not haberdashery. No, I was in love with acting, a profession that is all too often based on how you look. It didn't matter what an agent or a casting director actually said when they rejected me, all I heard was "You're too fat."

This book, however, is not the whiny lamentation of a girl who was never asked to dance (well, maybe occasionally whiny). It is a celebration of ass-kicking. It is my enthusiastic rejection of the beauty myth and a call to arms in the fight for self-acceptance. This is my journey, from victim to victor.

The following anecdotes are true. I think. Over the years, after-dinner stories tend to bend and twist and become more colorful and dazzling than they originally may have been. A flourish here, a double entendre there, a wee embellishment for emphasis. Sometimes the truth is drab, redundant, and ludicrous and needs a little decoration or refinement. This has been my greatest challenge: to be precise without boring you to tears, to be honest without making enemies, and to be candid without getting sued. Wish me luck.