From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. As baby boomer parents age, they're discovering the empty-nest syndrome is nothing compared to what happens when their kids graduate from college and start leading lives of their own. To a generation famous for being involved in every aspect of their children's lives, it can be upsetting to find that those children no longer need or welcome your advice. How does one parent children who no longer need parenting? Publishing veteran Isay, an editor and mother of two grown sons, interviews scores of parents and adult children of all ages to see how they are doing it. The stories are heartwarming, and Isay recounts them with intelligence and compassion. What does she find? Nothing Ann Landers hasn't already told us. Mainly: don't give advice; make friends with your children's significant others; and remember that love heals. The most compelling story is Isay's own. One wishes it were the centerpiece of the book rather than tacked on as an epilogue. Her experience is an example of her most interesting discovery: children are quick to forgive and often the ones who take the initiative in forging a new brand of closeness between themselves and their parents—a closeness that is best described as adult.
(Mar. 27) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
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Review
"Jane Isay gives us a hope chest of hard-earned wisdom and aha moments, and a mirror in which we can safely examine ourselves and our families." —Rachel Simmons, author of
Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
“From her own loving heart and from richly revealing interviews with parents and adult children, Jane Isay has fashioned a wonderfully wise and constructive intergenerational guide. Read it and learn!”
—Judith Viorst, author of
I'm Too Young to Be Seventy and Other Delusions
“A gently told, achingly honest book about the search for love and acceptance that aging parents and their adult children bring to each other and the tragic misunderstandings that get in their way and break their hearts.”
—Judith S. Wallerstein, Ph.D., author of
What About the Kids? Raising Children Before, During, and After Divorce
“Jane Isay's warm, intelligent, reassuring voice shines through her illuminating stories about the delicate, lifelong bond between parents and their grown children. Anyone who has ever been in a parent-child kafuffle about rules, traditions, money, control, or anything else will find wisdom and encouragement in this lovely book. ”
—Carol Tavris, Ph.D., coauthor of
Mistakes Were Made (but not by me)
"The brilliance of
Walking on Eggshells lies in Isay's uncanny ability to keep our love and good intentions in focus so that we all— parents and adult children—can untangle the unhealthy knots in our relationships before they cause harm."
—Ira Byock, M.D., author of
Dying Well
“With Isay's sage advice, we can make life with our adult children calmer, closer and more enjoyable. This is a great read for every parent who has ever, in discussing their adult children, used the phrase 'walking on eggshells.' ”
—Mary Pipher, author of
Reviving Ophelia