What a Difference a Daddy Makes: The Lasting Imprint a Dad Leaves on His Daughters Life [Paperback]

 

 

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What a Difference a Daddy Makes is written by Dr. Kevin Leman. Dr. Leman is internationally known psychologist, and has written over twenty books on the family. Dr. Leman received his bachelor's, master's and doctorate from the University of Arizona. He is the founder of Couples of Promise. Dr. Leman has been on numerous national talk shows including Good Morning America , and Oprah. His most impressive qualification to me though is that he is the father to four daughters who adore him. The subject of the book is just what the title suggests it gives examples and stories of just how a daddy makes a very strong impression on her life and determines how a girl will see men in the world. The book is divided into three sections with each section being at least four chapters long.
The purpose of this book is to show parents how important the relationship between a father and his daughter is. This book though is not intended just for fathers as you might think but is for all parents. Mother's need to see just how important this relationship is so they don't feel threatened or jealous.
It is my opinion that this book does a very good job of teaching parents especially first time parents of the importance of the father daughter relationship. It also sheds new light to opinions society has placed on us to believe mothers should be the prevelant parent.
The content throughout the book is exceptional. The content which is drawn primarily from Dr. Leman's personal experiences with his own daughters is the best, but also enjoyable are the stories from other people. Each section of the book is primarily for a certain age group. Section one is for birth to school age. Section two carries the torch with the age group from kindergarten to about junior high. Section three covers junior high through marriage.
Dr. Leman who is also known as a humorist uses a very simple and humorous approach as the style for the book. I am so glad this wasn't a book with a lot of complicated terms. In fact any parent could enjoy this book and understand it's beliefs and principles. The fact that Dr. Leman gives true life experiences to convey his points make them much more believable. For example in the beginning of the book Dr. Leman uses a story about a little girl in 1935 named Shirli Hunt from Bellingham Washington. When Shirli was a little girl she had been taught by her father to always stand in respect for the country when ever anything patriotic was going on. Once in school during music class the teacher decided to sing America the Beautiful and even though her father wasn't there and would never know Shirli stood. When a classmate said she didn't have to stand she replied " oh yes I did you don't know my father." Sixty years later when Shirli told this story to Dr. Leman He realized the lasting impresssion the man who had raised Shirli had made on her. Another good example of the impression a dad makes on his daughter is from a letter a daughter wrote to her dad which explained that because he took time for her as a child that now as a young lady she was very well prepared to handle life and she was proud to have him for a dad. This evidence is very convincing to me because Shirli Hunt remembered her father s vividly after so many years. Another statement in the book I found interesting is that a daughters enire way she acts with all men will be determined by her relationship with her father. Dr. Leman says " show me a woman who picks Dennis Rodman over Michael Jordan and I'll show you an accurate picture of her father." I believe this is a very true statement and very profound.
Dr. Leman also addressed head on about mothers who feel threatened about a strong father daughter relationship and I thought that was most helpful as well. Dr. Leman also describes how this can be a very destructive atmosphere for the child.
The book has many strengths giving insight to parents. It also proves it theories with real life examples and is entertaining through out with a good dose of humor. The only weakness I believe the book has is it doesn't give much hope for divorced fathers, in fact one part of the book says you can't make your daughter into a Miss Trust as oposed to a mistrust two weekends a month. Dr. Leman may not be aware but in today's court system often that is all the father is awarded, but I do agree it is impossible to build a strong relationship that way.
This book is very useful to parents, but also it is useful to people who are contemplating parenthood or who may be already expecting.
I really like this book because as a father I learned just how important the relationship with my daughter is. The book also helped me to feel more proud of my role as a parent and made me feel not only more needed in my daughter's life but more useful and more important.

What an incredibly well-written challenging book. I yellow-highlighted it extensively and this will be a book to which I refer from time-to-time. The summary statement to the book comes in the opening chapter where Leman writes: "The father-daughter relationship is the key to every woman's aching heart." In John Etheridge's book, Wild at Heart, he talked about a man's wounded heart; here, Leman talks about a little girl's aching heart and how her daddy is key to making her the daughter, wife and mother she should be. The premise of his book is that the "fundamental ingredient in any woman's life is her relationship with her father". He states that "a woman's relationship with her father, more than any other relationship, is going to affect her relationships with all other makes in her life. There's not a single relationship that isn't indelibly stamped - for good or for ill - by the man known as Daddy." Leman then spends the balance of the book detailing the difference daddy makes, the duty of daddy and daddy's dilemma. This is a "must" read for any father who wants to be a great dad.

I heard Dr. Kevin Leman discuss What a Difference a Daddy Makes on Focus on the Family. At the end of the hour, I knew I had to buy and read this book. I cannot say enough good things about it. If I could give it six stars, I would.

There were several chapters in the book that made me think, "This chapter alone is worth the price of the book." I think my favorite was chapter five - A Good Dad. Dr. Leman offers the encouragement that a dad doesn't need to be a great dad, just a good dad who is present and consistent. Super daddy once in a great while isn't the key. Rather, good dad in generous and frequent doses is the key to raising a well-adjusted daughter.

Dr. Leman offers this profile of a "Good Father:"
1. A Father who is there
2. A Father who understands
3. A Father who honors his wife
4. A Father who believes in his daughter
5. A Father who lets his daughter hurt

I could hardly believe number five, until I read what Dr. Leman had to say to explain himself.

Dr. Leman's book endeared itself to me. His writing style is pleasant and straightforward. He shares many stories from his own family to illustrate his points. One of the greatest aspects of the book is that he shares some of his own personal failures as a daddy, not just his victories. He does not come off as one who is perfect telling others that they should be perfect too.

What a Difference a Daddy Makes covers a great deal of territory. The final four chapters are devoted to addressing difficulties that fathers will face. It was valuable reading, especially when he addressed stages of development that a father will need to know about to interact with both his daughter and his wife.

I would be amiss not to mention that this is a book about parenting for both fathers and mothers, daughters and sons. The focus is primarily on the father-daughter relationship, but periodic sections deal with the mother-son relationship as well. This book will be profitable reading for all parents.

I certainly enjoyed this book. It taught me several things I did not yet know. It affirmed in me many things I was already thinking about in rearing my daughter. This book will lift your spirits and encourage you as a parent. Enjoy!

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2.0 out of 5 stars Nice concept, but too preachy/conservative
This book was dissapointing because the authors political and religious views permeate what is otherwise a very positive model for fathering. Read more

Published on Dec 24 2002 by mytangerine

4.0 out of 5 stars A good read for all parents of daughters
My mother-in-law Bonny gave me this book. I have the privilege of being a husband to her daughter, and the father to her granddaughter. Read more

Published on July 31 2002 by Michael Erisman

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