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What Dying People Want: Practical Wisdom for the End of Life [Paperback]

Dr. David Kuhl
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
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Paperback, April 29 2003 CDN $15.88  

Book Description

April 29 2003
An internationally renowned palliative care physician offers guidance on living with a terminal illness. Based on research funded by the Soros Foundation and extensive interviews with dying people. A profound and practical book about living with a terminal illness over a long period of time. It offers guidance, solace, and helpful strategies for people who are terminally ill, their families and caregivers.

Facing death results in more fear and anxiety than any other human experience. Western medicine has accomplished a great deal in addressing physical pain and controlling symptoms for people with a terminal illness, but much slower progress has been made in understanding and alleviating psychological and spiritual distress. In What Dying People Want, Dr. David Kuhl begins to bridge that gap. He does so by addressing end-of-life realities — physical, psychological and spiritual — through his own experiences as a doctor and through the words and experiences of people who know that they are dying.

He presents ways of addressing the pain, of finding new life in the process of dying and of understanding the inner reality of living with a terminal illness. He acknowledges the despair and recognizes the desire for hope and meaning. Dr. Kuhl also makes the provocative case that insensitive communication by doctors creates more suffering for patients than either the illness or the knowledge of impending death, and offers both the dying and their caregivers guidance on preventing painful interactions. He provides ways of speaking about difficult topics with physicians, family members, friends and those who have a terminal illness.

“This book started with a research question: What is the daily experience of living with a terminal illness? How does that experience affect your sense of self, your relationship with others, and your understanding of the spiritual? Many of those I interviewed asked me to share what they had given me with others who would follow — those with a terminal illness as well as their friends and family members who would care for them and about them. They asked specifically that I write a book for a general audience, and not only for my colleagues in the medical profession. This is the book that grew out of that research.” — Dr. David Kuhl


From the Hardcover edition.

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What Dying People Want: Practical Wisdom for the End of Life + Dying Well + Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying
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Product Description

From Library Journal

Drawing from case studies that he conducted as part of the Soros Foundation's "Death in America" project, Kuhl provides a balanced perspective on caring for the terminally ill. An M.D. himself, he acknowledges that doctors sometimes have poor interpersonal skills, and he offers helpful insight into why this is so and how patients can foster better communication. Besides discussing the physician's account of the clinical aspects of the dying process, Kuhl sensitively examines the harder-to-define psychological and spiritual issues. Unfortunately, he often focuses too much on certain patients whose stories are interesting but perhaps less applicable to the average person. Written for a general audience, this book will also fit well into medical libraries and other healthcare collections. Kuhl's research makes a good companion to Cynthia Pearson and Margaret L. Stubbs's Parting Company: Understanding the Loss of a Loved One. [The Soros Foundation, named after Hungarian American philanthropist George Soros, is a group of nonprofit organizations dedicated to creating and sustaining open societies around the world. Ed.] Annette Haines, Art & Design Field Lib., Anne Arbor, M.
- Annette Haines, Art & Design Field Lib., Anne Arbor, MI
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

“A useful guide to exercising compassion and care during those terrible times, which -- properly experienced -- have so much to teach us about the meaning and value of our own lives. The life that you see lost may help you regain your own.” -- The Globe and Mail

“An all-encompassing guide for people with a terminal illness and those who know someone who is dying.” -- The New York Times

“This book is such a wonderful contribution to human knowledge and understanding.” -- The Toronto Star

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Most helpful customer reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Not Only for the Terminally Ill Jan 7 2004
By A Customer
Format:Hardcover
This book has the ability to change the lives of any person. It is geared towards the terminally ill, however, due to my profession and my past personal experience with the terminally ill, I thought I might reach a better understanding of what one goes through and expects from us when dying but doesn't out right say. Page 18 changed the way I thought about dying. "If I am living the way I would like to be living then my death, if inevitable, shouldn't pose a fear within myself." It is an overall wonderful book that helps us see what we can do to help the person who is terminally ill and helps us prepare to make our lives more meaningful in the case that we are ever deamed that way ourselves. Some people say to become terminally ill was a gift to them, showed them things they'd never noticed before, however noone wants to die. This book is a gift!
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4.0 out of 5 stars Good Reference Tool Nov 9 2012
By Kem
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Found the book to be a good reference tool. Learned lots of good tips and have used them effectively. Would recommend this book to others.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.6 out of 5 stars  11 reviews
34 of 35 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A wise and wonderful book Mar 19 2003
By "lauriern" - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
Dr. David Kuhl's book is the culmination of a ten year research study sponsored by the Project on Death in America. After receiving special training, he listened to the stories of people diagnosed with either cancer or AIDS. Even though his subjects, or "coresearchers" (his preferred term) were of varied marital, sexual, social, financial, familial and cultural backgrounds, their stories revealed common themes. Dr. Kuhl explains what each theme means to his coresearchers and translates their experiences into useful advice for terminally ill people, the people who love them and the health professionals caring for them.
Dr. Kuhl has written a quiet, thoughtful and moving book that is also quite practical. But be forewarned: it's not easy reading. For to acknowledge the dying experiences of others, we must confront our own mortality. Those who take the journey through to the end of the book may discover unexpected places in themselves more comfortably left hidden. But as Dr. Kuhl states, "Living and dying well involve enhancing one's sense of self, one's relationships with others, and one's understanding of the transcendent, the spiritual, the supernatural. And only in confronting the inevitability of death does one truly embrace life."
20 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Not Only for the Terminally Ill Jan 7 2004
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
This book has the ability to change the lives of any person. It is geared towards the terminally ill, however, due to my profession and my past personal experience with the terminally ill, I thought I might reach a better understanding of what one goes through and expects from us when dying but doesn't out right say. Page 18 changed the way I thought about dying. "If I am living the way I would like to be living then my death, if inevitable, shouldn't pose a fear within myself." It is an overall wonderful book that helps us see what we can do to help the person who is terminally ill and helps us prepare to make our lives more meaningful in the case that we are ever deamed that way ourselves. Some people say to become terminally ill was a gift to them, showed them things they'd never noticed before, however noone wants to die. This book is a gift!
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Readable and valuable Oct 13 2005
By Michael Blyth - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
As pointed out in a previous review, this is not a book with the most up-to-date research and theory on grief, loss, and dying. But then, if it were, it would lose its primary audience, ordinary people. If you have done a lot of work in this area then you may not find much new, though I think the book is still a refreshing read. But it is a book I could recommend for many patients and family members, as well as some caregivers who may not have had much education and experience with grieving people. As a physician, I doubt that the book is too "basic" for most colleagues who are not in high-mortality specialties.
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