What Were They Thinking?:: Marketing Lessons You Can Learn from Products That Flopped [Hardcover]

Marketers everywhere are missing dinner with their kids, pulling all-nighters, steeped in market research and ad agency pitches, just so we could enjoy the most tasty cereal or the most whitening brand of toothpaste with baking soda. And these are only the products we know about; the ones that actually make it out the door! Ever wonder about the ones that never make it, or the ones that you saw today but are gone tomorrow, never to be seen again? Just ask Mr. Whipple. He's seen them come and seen them go. Charmin may still be "squeezably soft", but where is the Crystal Pepsi? Seemed like a good idea at the time. How about "smokeless" tobacco? Rabbit Jerky, anyone? Executives had countless meetings over these products, committed large amounts of resources to them, and spent millions of dollars to perfect and bring them to market. Unfortunately, most of them failed in the marketplace.

How each of these came to market, as the brainchild of one or more marketers at nearly every consumer products manufacturer in the country, is quite a story. Steve Backer, the advertising executive best known for the "I'd Like to Teach the World To Sing" Coca-Cola jingle puts it in familial terms. Executives "parent" these ideas, like they would children, and they grow and are nurtured by "uncles" and "cousins" and even "grandfathers" and "godfathers". They develop benefactors, and are protected and defended. Sometimes defended too well. It is the process of how an idea ultimately becomes a reality, and the generic term we apply to this process is marketing.

This is a subject of great interest to Robert McMath, a Marketing guru, i.e. consultant, who spent many years with the Colgate-Palmolive company, and Thom Forbes, an advertising journalist who, among other things, spent time as the editor of Adweek. In fact, they wrote a book about it, and the book is appropriately titled "What Were They Thinking? Marketing Lessons Išve Learned from over 80,000 New-Product Innovations and Idiocies".

This is a great book. And very valuable if you are a marketer. It could very well steer your career in the right direction. Written with wit and insight, McMath and Forbes take us through the last several decades of new-product launches, and are quick to point out that most of them have been duds. In fact, statistically, the chance of any new product really succeeding with a bang is plainly slim. If you donšt believe me, go and visit the New Products Showcase and Learning Center in Ithaca, New York that McMath runs. It is the repository of more than 80,000 of these household consumable items that he speaks about in the title that at one time or another were considered "new and innovative" or "new and improved". And although the emphasis of this book is clearly what went wrong, rather than what went right, the facts bear out the conclusion. But don't get McMath and Forbes wrong. They both have a keen understanding of the dynamics of consumer products marketing, and are writing from a position of admiration and love of the business. This is not a treatise on the death of marketing, but rather a somewhat wistful and sweeping assessment of the results of some of the most ambitious and colossal undertakings by consumer products companies over the years. Certainly, the successes are included here, and are given their just kudos. What is striking, however, is the lesson in marketing we take away in hindsight from examining why these products and launches never caught on, and why some of them should never have been allowed make it to market.

McMath and Forbes cleverly assesses the highlights, er, lowlights, of some disastrous and costly marketing, along with some spectacular and flawless successes, and the approach is to take an altruism or marketing aphorism, and demonstrate the appropriate success or catastrophe. "Fooling With Your Cash Cow" was meant for Crystal Pepsi. They admonish PepsiCo for wantonly fooling with its flagship brand. There are also chapters on "Me-Too Madness" and "Thou Shalt Not Deceive", which extol the pitfalls of joining the bandwagon way too late, and not being totally above board on your advertising. My personal favorite is "Buy-This-If-You-Are-A-Loser" School of Marketing. The lesson here was Gillettešs FOR OILY HAIR ONLY shampoo. What seems very much a matter of common sense now did not seem so back then. Of course, some of us have oily hair, but who wants to announce it in their shopping cart?

Throughout all the poignant examples, however, is a real desire to analyze de-facto, what contributed to these failures, and how they might be avoided in the future. Every lesson is sincere, and makes an attempt to intelligently and honestly assess the results in useful terms. Albeit entertaining, a deeper understanding of the vagaries and whimsy of consumers and marketing make for a great read and some very funny scenarios. From killer clerks to obstinate CEOšs, not all the blame lies with the marketers. Some products are just destined to bomb due to an overwhelming negative force quite beyond the control any one individual, except perhaps the one having the power to say Yes or No. McMath, having been an "eager beaver young marketer who is going places" himself, tells the story of his first product

assignment with Colgate-Palmolive. He was to redesign and re-launch Palmolive Aftershave Lotion. Back then, it was in a molded plastic bottle and was a rich dark green in color. It sold for a buck, and had enjoyed some popularity in the late forties and early 50šs, and by the time McMath got a hold of it, was lagging in sales of under $1M. That was an unacceptable figure for Colgate, and management wanted it fixed. Truth be told, on the shelf, the rich dark green liquid looked more like dirty water compared to the brilliant blues and sapphires of some of the competition. After a new bright blue formulation and some updated packaging, the prototype made it all the way up to the top, a VP of the Division, who promptly canned it because he hated the color blue. Marketing Lesson 101.

Throughout the book, McMath and Forbes keep the criticism fairly topical, yet accurate. As accurate as one can be in retrospect. The scenariošs are plenty, and cover everything from Futurist marketers pronouncing products for the millennial zeitgeist, to simple dumber than dumb mistakes that should have never made it past pencil and paper. The tone is always even, but hardly dispassionate. And the issues are certainly relevant to today's marketplace, including some philosophical commentary on brand extensions, category development, new products and advertising.

All in all, the book leaves you with a distinct flavor; one part caution, one part common sense, mixed with the knowledge that ultimately, no matter how much planning, preparation, foresight and wisdom, no one can predict with certainty the success with which any new product will be met. McMath and Forbes give us just enough to think about the next time we go shopping.