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Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism Paperback – Aug 7 2003


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Frequently Bought Together

Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism + Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed + Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
Price For All Three: CDN$ 41.82


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Free Press; Reprint edition (Aug. 7 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0743214285
  • ISBN-13: 978-0743214285
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.5 x 21.4 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 227 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #33,399 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

Review

The Hartford Courant A how-to not only for disengaging yourself from the narcissists in your life but also learning to live with them.

Drew Pinksy, M.D. A practical and accessible book about one of the most prevalent personality disorders of our time.

Jerold J. Kreisman, M.D. coauthor of I Hate You -- Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality. People who experience narcissism in themselves or in others now have a guide to help them steer through the storm.

Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
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Most helpful customer reviews

52 of 53 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on Oct. 30 2003
Format: Paperback
Well-written; the best book I've read on the subject. The commentary on the social aspects of narcissism makes this author's approach relevant to every reader. Practical, realistic coping strategies as well as models for good-enough parenting. Great book for parents and teenagers to read together!
Synopsis: Narcissism is a healthy, necessary stage twice in a person's life, during the toddler and teen years, and gives an individual an inflated sense of confidence that enables him or her to leave the security of the parental bond to explore the world with newly acquired abilities. If children receive good-enough parenting when reality deflates this bubble of omnipotence, they reach the end of their narcissistic explorations with a newly integrated sense of self and awareness of the separateness of other people. If they are traumatized or are insecure in their attachment to primary caregivers at these crucial stages, they never "graduate" from the school of narcissism, and become "toxic people," viewing others merely as extensions of themselves and therefore without separate needs and feelings. You probably encounter narcissistic people every day without understanding why they are so rude, have an unfounded sense of entitlement, poor boundaries, or seem to be more "special" than other people. Many of us have been raised in families that pass down narcissitic vulnerabilities, leaving us prey to narcissists, who are always on the lookout for people who can be manipulated into supplying external validation of their "specialness," either by annexing you and your talents to serve them or by deflating you so as to inflate themselves.
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33 of 34 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 15 2004
Format: Paperback
I had reached rock-bottom when a friend recommended this book to me: I found myself on my knees, begging my husband not to be angry at me. This book had everything I needed to pull myself out of the gutter: clarity, insight, intelligence, and page after page of perfect descriptions of what I had been living with for many years. Then came strong, simple advice on how to live a sane life. The descriptions helped me let go of my fantasy that he could change; the advice helped me turn my own path into one of optimism and strength. Thank you, SH.
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22 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Fallon McDermott on Aug. 6 2004
Format: Paperback
I once worked for a boss who had the following sign on his desk: "People who think they know everything are particularly irritating to those of us who do." I laughed. Six months later, while still working for the same man I had stopped laughing. It wasn't a joke--the guy meant it. If only I had had this book then. It seems to me that far too much energy and time is spent on the "bigger" mental problems of society and not enough on this one. For really, most of these other problems seem to stem from narcissism. Most narcissistics see themselves as "healthy," so what can you do? This book is a must for those interested in toxic people and if you're older than the age of five, you know just how many there are. Highly, highly recommended. Would also recommend an interesting read (fiction) that deals with MAJOR personality disordererd individuals, family dysfunction, and definitely narcissism: "The Bark of the Dogwood" by Jackson McCrae.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 9 2003
Format: Hardcover
Ms. Hotchkiss's insight into Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) finally gave a voice to what I have been thinking for many years. After attracting narcissists of varying degrees into my life, I always found myself in the end either in complete disbelief at the behaviour I had encountered and tolerated, or believing there was something deeply wrong with me. When I began reading "The Seven Deadly Sins" as she puts it which outline some of the major personality flaws of those affected by NPD, I just wanted to shout out "Yes!, Yes!, this makes it all clear!". While this book primarily focuses on how to identify NPDs, it does provide some insight as to why you may be the personality type that attracts these damaged people into your life and how to manage them. Ms. Hotchkiss writes with, and I certainly believe that she has, empathy for those troubled with NPD, however, she also is very firm in that they most often do not change, and in order to save yourself from a lifetime of being used and emotionally sucked dry, you have to distance yourself. This may not be the most in depth writing on the subject but, for those of you like me who know in your heart that there is something wrong with someone in your life, this book can be a real eye opener, give voice to what you know is there, and set you on a road to recovery. Highly recommend.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Kathleen A. Heintzelman on May 28 2003
Format: Hardcover
This book help me more than any theraphy could have helped me. If you want validation for the difficult people (Personality disorder) you have to deal with, this is the book. It describes Narcissism for what it is. Narcissist prey on those who have been shamed, so they can take on their disowned shame that their ego can not tolerate. Most of us are walking around with projections that don't even belong to us, they belong to them!!!!!! Best book on the subject. Best line in the book is - Narcissism breeds a new narcissist generation-- as well as people who seem to be magnets for this personality type.
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