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Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes: A Family Peace Plan [Paperback]

Cynthia Whitham MSW
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Jan. 1 1991
This easy-to-use guide helps parents increase cooperation and reduce conflict in households with children ages two through 12. Parents learn how to eliminate the tantrums, teasing, dawdling, interrupting, and complaining that drive them crazy.

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Product Description

From Library Journal

Any adult who has spent any time with a whining child knows that even an hour can drive a person crazy. Whitham, a staff therapist for the UCLA Parent Training Program, has developed successful techniques for diffusing the whining, complaining, sassy, dawdling, or annoying child. Positive reinforcement of behaviors parents like is her key: praise the act one approves of, ignore bad behavior, and set limits (clearly explained) on intolerable behavior. This book is so well presented, easy to read, positive, and chock full of ideas that even the most worn-out parents and teachers will approach their children with patience, firmness, good will, and love.
- Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, Pa.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Cynthia Whitham, MSW, is a mother of two, a practicing licensed clinical social worker who specializes in parent training, and the associate director of UCLA's Parenting and Children's Friendship Program. She is the author of "The Answer Is NO": Saying It and Sticking to It, a companion book to Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes.

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Customer Reviews

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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Inspires Cooperation July 28 2003
"You may have chosen to be a parent, but you did not choose to give up your mental health in the process. I believe parents have a right to no-fuss mornings, tear-free bedtimes, low stress errand-running and time for themselves." ~Cynthia Whitham
Do you want to learn how to stop: whining, tantrums, dawdling, bad language, name calling, teasing, spitting, biting, talking back, interrupting, complaining, sulking and fighting, this is your guide.
Cynthia Whitham is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who specializes in parent training. She also gives workshops for parents, teachers and therapists. She uses the ideas in this book at home with her own children.
Cynthia makes an excellent point about children finding negative ways to get attention. She recommends complimenting the good behavior and seeing if that helps change the situation.
"The more positive attention you give, the better things get."
This is a very organized book. Not only can you organize the behaviors you love, dislike and want to stop, you can also pick them right off a nice list.
I also loved her ideas of "do say and don't say." There are things that will encourage a variety of behaviors you might not want to encourage even when you are being positive. This has to do with sibling rivalry and making a child successful at the expense of others. Being compared to your brothers and sisters just isn't fun.
You will also see the value of:
Making praise a habit.
Making Big Tasks Manageable
How to use "Ignore" to the best advantage.
Offering choices (oh, this is a good one and it works)
Making a better behaviour chart
Setting limits
Battle Plans
This book presents practical solutions to everyday problems.
Read more ›
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5.0 out of 5 stars How to get Parental Peace -- and Kid Compliance March 4 2003
By A Customer
If you really want to cut the whining, the tantrums, the interrupting, the talking back, the dawdling in your home -- you need to go to the experts. Or expert.
Cynthia Whitham's (a licensed clinical social worker specializing in parent training and associate director of the prominent UCLA Parent Training program) solid suggestions proved as easy to implement with my 3-year-old as were with my 11- and 10-year-olds. And unlike some experts, she offers detailed steps to her simple solutions, with consideration give to the age of the child.
If there's one book I actually enjoyed and found effective among the myriad of parenting tomes I've picked up along the way, it's this one: "Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes: A Family Peace Plan".
If you want to dial down the yelling and ramp up the compliance level in your home -- this is your book.
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2.0 out of 5 stars Very Basic. Feb. 28 2002
By apoem
This is a very basic book that tells very little in the way of raising children.
The main point of the book is this: Look for the positive and praise it and ignore the negative behavior.
For example, if your child whines when you tell him/her to clean his room you praise the fact that he picked up five of the toys without whining. Ignore the fact that the child whined while picking up the other 200 toys. The idea is that eventually the child will pick up the whole room without whining.
Ha- I haven't found that to be the case while teaching and I haven't found that to be the case with my children (age two and younger).
I think you can easily skip this book and find a more comprehensive book with more ideas that are better suited to reality.
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5.0 out of 5 stars "Winning the Whining War" is a winner July 12 2002
By Kathi W
With all the self-help books out there today that require you to have a PhD in order to understand them, it's a great gift to find a book like "Win the Whining War...". It's a "matter of fact", common sense approach to bringing peace not only to you, but to your child. It's a blueprint for breaking old patterns, learning healthier ones; having a better relationship with your child and enabling your child to feel better about himself. I have read it and given it as a gift to at least a half dozen people. It works and it works quickly! After only one week, literally, we saw a difference in our 10 year old son. I recommend this highly to all parents.
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