Women, Sex, Power, And Pleasure: Getting the Life (and Sex) You Want Paperback – Feb 7 2013
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About the Author
Evelyn Resh , MPH, CNM, is a certified sexuality counselor with The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. She is also a certified nurse-midwife and has been in practice for more than 20 years. Resh holds a Master of Public Health degree and undergraduate degrees in nursing, psychology, and medical anthropology. She draws from her experience as a midwife and sexuality counselor in her integrative approach to women's health. Resh lectures frequently across thecountry to professional and lay audiences on the topics of women's health and sexual satisfaction. She is especially known for her warm, lively, and good-humored approach to her subject matter and her ability to make others feel comfortable with hard-to-discuss topics. Website: www.evelynresh.com
Inside This Book(Learn More)
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
It's not an easy thing to talk honestly about our sexuality, particularly for women--like me--who are not twenty-five, childless and supremely confident in our sexual expression anymore. There are a lot of reasons why things change as we get older and our lives get more complicated, but that doesn't make it easier to discuss. So I definitely see the value of books that help broach those subjects. I'm just so glad to have found a book that actually discusses women's sexuality in an intelligent and helpful manner, rather than one that condescends, coddles or infantilizes the reader by talking about "the girls," "your flower" or, ugh, "your cookie."
Evelyn Resh's book is no-nonsense and sincere. Even if you can't personally relate to every thing she says (I'm not at menopause age myself, so the chapter on menopause was, for me, still just theoretical) at least you won't feel insulted by how she says it.
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book free from Hay House for review purposes. I was not obliged to write a favourable review. The opinions expressed are strictly my own.
However, as I read from beginning to end of the book, I found the quote tied directly to the thesis of the book, (which the author states on page 147, is: "...pleasure begets pleasure...which includes feeling self-assured and resilient even where sexuality is concerned."
Put simply, the author asks women to examine their self-image, to ponder whether or not they feel they DESERVE pleasure (in life and sex), and to ask themselves what they are willing to do, learn, or un-learn in order to experience that pleasure and power.
At the end of each chapter, the author includes a short list of questions which will hopefully help the reader to discover her true feelings about self-image, being deserving of pleasure, etc.
Evelyn Resh offers up many personal anecdotes throughout the book, as well as numerous (brief) case studies of clients she has worked with.
On page 59, Resh tells the reader that for people to be able to manage their problems, they "need to be reacquainted with the facts of their situation and confronted head on with their negative and false thinking."
I think that a thoughtful reader, with the help of this book, will be able to do a self-confrontation, and at least begin to dispel any false thinking that is keeping her from the pleasure (sex included) she is seeking in life.
I ended up rating the book four stars instead of five for two reasons:
First, there are no concrete "prescriptions" in the book that women can use to "fix" their ailing sex-lives. (It is all about self-study and thinking your way out of the problem.)
Second, the book weighs a little heavily on sexual problems being the woman's responsibility to fix. Example, question 7 from page 153: "Am I willing to learn more about how men's brains actually work so I can better understand the differences between us?" (Granted, this is a book FOR women readers, but a suggestion or two more for what MEN can do would make it easier to share this book with a husband/lover/partner.)
Except for those two small quibbles, I think the book can be a useful starting point for women who are looking to improve the overall quality of their sex lives, and life in general.
Then my forties hit... I started taking care of myself, enjoying sex, enjoying simple pleasures like seeing a movie I wanted to see, wearing beautiful clothes, driving hot cars, especially my black Corvette and black Mercedes. Guess what.. this book is for me, I just wish I had discovered it twenty years ago. I have a friend who tells me he loves his wife, he's been married for two decades and he has to literally beg her for sex. She NEEDS this book. He still desires her but she has issues that are addressed in this book. The author points out that men don't have the same issues with deriving pleasure, whether it's from food, sex, or just relaxing. They know how to do that (at least the majority I know) but women.. we try to hard, we get stretch marks from having children, we get cellulite, our hormones act up. Women, Please read this book. I literally read it in one sitting and found myself nodding my head yes again and again. This author conveys a lot of wisdom in a very easy to read style.
This book is brilliantly written and the author is very likeable and writes in a comfortable, easy to read and honest manner. I felt like I was sitting in her office getting personal help from her (minus the menopause part as I'm not at that stage yet and minus the illness/disability reason), her words really hit home.
Finally advice from someone who gets it, a woman who understands women and the way our brains work. Bravo and thank you!