Write More Good: An Absolutely Phony Guide [Paperback]

In her TRANSGRESSIVE GRAMMAR Valerie Greenberg writes that "Transgressing grammar boundaries is a subversive undertaking since it is likely to violate the sanctuaries of accepted modes of expression. Among the most fortified boundaries have been those between the proper grammar and writers."

The pseudonymous and possibly fictional members of The Bureau Chiefs, who may or may not be members of a cabal of sinister brains in a jar, have little but contempt for the Greenbergs of the world. in the view of The Bureau Chiefs, grammar, syntax and usage were put there for a reason, young lady, and so you should leave them alone. No, you heard me the first time. Leave them alone. Do it, young lady, or we're going home right now.

Sadly, too many new writers follow Greenberg's lead and are dedicated to transgressing boundaries, both through the daring application of a tattoo to the small of their back and through the subversive use of willfully incorrect spelling, grammar, and syntax. Too many new writers think, because Henry James was an O.G. pimp hustler when it came to usage, that they, too, can flaunt the rules with no more regard for them than for the poor television commercials they fast forward through on their way to the next segment of My Little Pony.

Thank heavens for The Bureau Chiefs! They have finally taken a stand against the nonsense that has taken hold of the writerly world since 1894. They have finally said, "Enough! The line is drawn...here!"

Thanks to WRITE MORE GOOD, anyone, from a bored six year old to middle aged bloggers, can learn how to write pellucid prose so clean you could eat off it and so professional that even Eustace Tilley would embrace it, weeping.

The book also cleared up my Treponema pallidum. But that may have just been coincidence.

As a writer, there are certain "rules" you're supposed to follow in terms of style. Even if you're not a writer, you're affected by these styles as they dictate what you read in media stories. A couple of guys decided to take some liberties with those guidelines and created a Twitter account named fakeapstylebook to parody the rules, and that led to this book... Write More Good: An Absolutely Phony Guide by The Bureau Chiefs. If you've ever had to write an article for some publication (and you have a sense of humor), this is a great parody that offers plenty of laughs and hits close to the truth on more than one occasion.

Contents:
News & Headline Writing & You & Journalism
Politics: When The Horse Race Lasts 30 Months
Entertainment: The Glitz, The Glamour, The Death of the Superego
Sex: Ew
Religion
Sports: The Sport of Kings
The Shiny Money Box, Or, Technology and the Death of All Paper
Science (and the Blinding By Thereof)
Pseudoscience and the Supernatural: Ya Rly
Weapons and the Military: Shoot First, Then Ask Questions About Shooting
Citation and Attribution: Do Not Hit the Snooze Button
Punctuation and Grammar: LOL
Media Law: You Are So Screwed
The Morgue: The Dead Live!
The Ghost of Basics Past
Glossary

Each chapter starts out with a few snide comments about the topic, slides into the "basics" along with related detail that spares nothing and no one, and then ends with a topic glossary that is far more interesting than any other glossary you've ever read. Do you want to be an entertainment writer? Learn how to become a blogging review quote machine so you'll get free tickets and videos! Sports writer? Get a nickname and a stance, and then market yourself shamelessly!

But there are always things to remember... For instance, if you're a sports writer, remember that professional bowlers should never be referred to as "heavy-set." It's assumed. If you're writing about soccer for North American audiences, remember to consider the fact that no one cares. And of course, any story on Brett Favre's retirement should end with the ;) emoticon.

What I found impressive about this book (and which was also pointed out by Roger Ebert in the forward) is that it's not a book composed solely of tweets from the authors. Too often a book based on a blog or Twitter account is just a compilation of the same material that's already been used. Fine if you don't follow them online, but a waste of money for regular readers. Write More Good borrows the attitude and style of the fakeapstylebook tweets, but that's where it ends. As such, this is an entertaining read regardless of how much you've read on Twitter.

One small caution... if you're easily offended when someone pokes fun or parodies something that is close to your heart, then you might want to stay away. Everything is fair game here... you have been warned. :)

Write More Good is one of the more entertaining books I've read of late, and I know plenty of writer colleagues who will enjoy it as much as I did. They just need to remember the warning on the cover... "If you use this, you will get FIRED!"

Disclosure:
Obtained From: Publicist
Payment: Free

This book is an absolute revelation. I used to have inverted nipples but now, thanks to @fakeAPStylebook, they're normal again!

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