Your Erroneous Zones [Mass Market Paperback]

 

 

Create your own review

This book makes me think of the Johnny Cash song, "I Walk the Line" and Arlo Guthrie's "Walking the Line." I walk the line in that I feel there are parts of this book that are very helpful to other parts that I feel are far from being helpful.

The parts I didn't feel were helpful were Dr. Dyer's tone of seemingly "just getting over" problems. I have heard Dr. Dyer and on one occasion he tells an audience member who had suffered profound losses to "get over it" and maybe that person could "write a book about those losses." That did not sound very helpful and not everybody is in a position or has the ability level to become an author. However, the rest of the book has good, practical tools of empowerment.

The parts I most related to were the passages on not nodding one's head and pretending to agree with something contrary to one's integrity, beliefs or values. If there is one thing I absolutely detest, it is sycophantic behavior and faux agreement. I don't even pretend to laugh at jokes that I don't find funny!

To its credit, this book can be seen as a tool of empowerment. It outlines a list of self defeating behaviors and some ways of counteracting them. It is not a nostrum nor is it a panacea for all personal ills. It is simply a check list of areas in people's lives where challenges are likely to occur and alternate ways of meeting those challenges.

I think of John Lennon, who introduced himself on the Beatles' 1963 Christmas album, "John here, speaking with his voice!" There is more truth than humor to the Chief Beatle's quip. John never lost his own voice or integrity. He, as Dr. Dyer points out "didn't need their [world at large] approval" to recognize his own worth as a good individual. He did not have to sacrifice or compromise his identity and core values and beliefs for anyone. Dr. Dyer goes into this advanced stage of esteem development in the chapter entitled "You Don't Need Their Approval."

The title of this chapter can be misleading. It is best not to read into this the fallacy that you can bluff and pretend that you neither want nor need approval. That is not true. Everybody wants, needs and deserves approval. The main thrust of that chapter is that one need not do things ONLY for approval - let approval be the byproduct and not the impetus. It is about acceptance of one's self and decisions without making approval be the motivator and by keeping it the byproduct.

Nobody can respect a sycophant and it is doubtful that sycophants respect themselves. Sacrificing one's voice to appease those in charge or those whom the sycophant wants to win over is a price that I feel is not worth paying. The Apple Polisher, as is described in this book waits around for others to voice their opinions, only to chime in as an echo. One does not need permission to have their own opinion and I think it is very sad whenever people feel they have to take this approach to survive socially. Dr. Dyer gives an example of a person who does just that. Readers come away with no respect for the person acting as an echo and that serves as a wake up call to everyone to follow John Lennon's example by speaking in their OWN voices.

I think of people like Lech Walesa, Robert Kennedy, Pope John XXIII who did what they believed was right and in turn changed the world for the better. Many disagreed and even opposed them and what they wanted to do. They stayed true to their core values and beliefs regardless of anyone else's approval and effected great changes in the world. I think that helps to clarify the approval question.

All in all, a decent book. No doubt many readers will come away stepping over many erronenous zones.

This book makes me think of the Johnny Cash song, "I Walk the Line" and Arlo Guthrie's "Walking the Line." I walk the line in that I feel there are parts of this book that are very helpful to other parts that I feel are far from being helpful.

The parts I didn't feel were helpful were Dr. Dyer's tone of seemingly "just getting over" problems. I have heard Dr. Dyer and on one occasion he tells an audience member who had suffered profound losses to "get over it" and maybe that person could "write a book about those losses." That did not sound very helpful and not everybody is in a position or has the ability level to become an author. However, the rest of the book has good, practical tools of empowerment.

The parts I most related to were the passages on not nodding one's head and pretending to agree with something contrary to one's integrity, beliefs or values. If there is one thing I absolutely detest, it is sycophantic behavior and faux agreement. I don't even pretend to laugh at jokes that I don't find funny!

To its credit, this book can be seen as a tool of empowerment. It outlines a list of self defeating behaviors and some ways of counteracting them. It is not a nostrum nor is it a panacea for all personal ills. It is simply a check list of areas in people's lives where challenges are likely to occur and alternate ways of meeting those challenges.

I think of John Lennon, who introduced himself on the Beatles' 1963 Christmas album, "John here, speaking with his voice!" There is more truth than humor to the Chief Beatle's quip. John never lost his own voice or integrity. He, as Dr. Dyer points out "didn't need their [world at large] approval" to recognize his own worth as a good individual. He did not have to sacrifice or compromise his identity and core values and beliefs for anyone. Dr. Dyer goes into this advanced stage of esteem development in the chapter entitled "You Don't Need Their Approval."

The title of this chapter can be misleading. It is best not to read into this the fallacy that you can bluff and pretend that you neither want nor need approval. That is not true. Everybody wants, needs and deserves approval. The main thrust of that chapter is that one need not do things ONLY for approval - let approval be the byproduct and not the impetus. It is about acceptance of one's self and decisions without making approval be the motivator and by keeping it the byproduct.

Nobody can respect a sycophant and it is doubtful that sycophants respect themselves. Sacrificing one's voice to appease those in charge or those whom the sycophant wants to win over is a price that I feel is not worth paying. The Apple Polisher, as is described in this book waits around for others to voice their opinions, only to chime in as an echo. One does not need permission to have their own opinion and I think it is very sad whenever people feel they have to take this approach to survive socially. Dr. Dyer gives an example of a person who does just that. Readers come away with no respect for the person acting as an echo and that serves as a wake up call to everyone to follow John Lennon's example by speaking in their OWN voices.

I think of people like Lech Walesa, Robert Kennedy, Pope John XXIII who did what they believed was right and in turn changed the world for the better. Many disagreed and even opposed them and what they wanted to do. They stayed true to their core values and beliefs regardless of anyone else's approval and effected great changes in the world. I think that helps to clarify the approval question.

All in all, a decent book. No doubt many readers will come away stepping over many erronenous zones.

This book is one of the best books, perhaps even the best book I've ever read in terms of gaining control over one's life. It is truly empowering in the best sense of the idea. It comes down to the fact that you are a "choice making individual". No matter what the situation is that comes up you can still choose how to react to it.

To illustrate... I used to believe that I had certain tendencies (like "worrying" about all the "what ifs" for example) that were somehow out of my control. The idea of buying into the idea that some things were just "family traits" that I was helplessly born into, that "we come from a family of neurotic people who worry".

I have a particular favorite story which is on the audio tape version of the book (I can't remember if it's in the printed version of the book.... the audio seems pretty much like he's extemporizing on the principles outlined in the book). He tells of how he was in a restaurant and the manager/owner of the restaurant is getting very upset and emotional at an employee. Dr. Dyer says to the guy something like "Look at yourself, you're going to give your self a heart attack by the time your fifty" to which the gentleman replies "I am fifty two and I had a heart attack two years ago" to which Dr. Dyer says something like "Then why do you do this to yourself ? " to which the fellow says "What do you want from me.... I'm Italian !" ..... as if that was an explanation for why he was getting himself all worked up.

Wayne really helps one realize that they don't have to "buy into" feeling like they are helpless victims of their cultural background, family dynamics and, Genetic tendencies etc. While these may all seem to be the same thing there are in fact subtle differences between them.

I have recommended this book and it's audio version for countless people who have felt "out of control" of their emotions.

The ideas in this book really work if you are willing to finally let go of the mental crap in your life that is holding you back from being happier and healthier in every way. This is not to put on Rose Colored glasses, but to be able to "catch yourself" before you go into reacting the way you "always do" and really asking yourself if it is necessary.

Of course there are things in life where "worry" (for example if a loved one is ill) might be an unavoidable and compassionate emotion. But I'm talking about the sort of "worry" that is about things that "might happen". How many people spin endless tales of woe that will never come to pass.

Regarding Waynes other work, much of it has gone the way of the worst sort of New Age thought.

While I personally think that there is much New Age thinking that can be beneficial (especially in terms of having people more accepting of others rather than being narrow minded and bigotted), often it seems to be used to avoid having compassion (as in the idea that "Everything is perfect" so why help starving people).

This being said, "Erroneous Zones" is still one of those books I will always recommend and re-read (or listen to) when I find myself slipping into old mental habit patterns.

Another book along these lines that I also highly recommend is "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabot Zinn.

Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review

› See all 42 customer reviews on Amazon.ca

 

1.0 out of 5 stars your erroneous popularizers . . .
I am writing this review as this sort of book is extremely popular for people who believe they have problems. Read more

Published on Jan 4 2004

5.0 out of 5 stars awesome book
In my personal development quest, Wayne Dyer is one of the best. Many people consider his (and many others) methods to be "too simplistic" or they say that if you're... Read more

Published on Dec 16 2003 by Zeb Long

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!
Years a go a heart broken lady told me that the book gave her a new life. I immediately bought the book and was positively surprised how interesting and helpful this book is!

Published on Nov 25 2003 by M. ravasizadeh

5.0 out of 5 stars LIFE SAVER - - FINDING YOURSELF!
I highly recommend this book for anyone, teenagers to elderly ... if read with an open mind and a thirst to understand themselves, they will be stronger, have more... Read more

Published on Nov 3 2003 by P. Brock Kranats

2.0 out of 5 stars Only for people unhappy with themselves
I heard an interview with Dyer and Tony Robbins so I decided to listen to one of Dyer's audiobooks. I was really disappointed. Read more

Published on Feb 12 2003 by Michael

5.0 out of 5 stars Common Sense Choices
As in all his other works, Wayne Dyer helps the reader find common sense within himself. Though the writing seems simple it is actually very profound. Read more

Published on Oct 17 2002 by pal1931@earthlink.net

5.0 out of 5 stars How long are you going to be dead?
In YOUR ERRONEOUS ZONES, Wayne Dyer encourages his readers to ask themselves this question: "How long am I going to be dead? Read more

Published on Aug 9 2002 by Andrew Olivo Parodi

5.0 out of 5 stars We choose the way we feel.
I don't know that any one review can do justice to this book, but I will contribute mine, in order to help anyone considering buying Your Erroneous Zones. Read more

Published on July 7 2002 by Mark Johnson

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best
This was the first "self help" book I read, and even now, years later, I remember the message Wayne Dyer stressed, which was the uselessness of worry and guilt. Read more

Published on April 28 2002

5.0 out of 5 stars Breaking away from needing approval.
This book showed me a way out of 14 years of self-destructive behavior. The ideas expressed are SO simple and after reading just the first few chapters I knew that I had finally... Read more

Published on Mar 30 2002

Search Customer Reviews
Only search this product's reviews

› See all 42 customer reviews on Amazon.ca

Search Listmania!