eHarmony Guide to Dating the Second Time Around Paperback – Feb 1 2011
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About the Author
Dr. Gian Gonzaga Ph.D is the senior director of research and development at eHarmony Labs. He has taught, presented and published extensively on topics relating to relationships, love and health, and has received numerous awards for his work, including the prestigious National Science Foundation Minority Predoctoral Fellowship and Psi Chi National Undergraduate Research Competition. He is a member of several associations including the American Psychological Association, the American Psychological Society, the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, and more.
Top Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
I wish I had written it.
I wish I had read it before I got married years ago and before I became interested in a new relationship as a senior citizen. (Yep, even seniors are looking for love and companionship.)
This is a book of common sense. Unfortunately, sometimes in matters of the heart, common sense goes flying out the window and we think we can maneuver those treacherous waters of romance alone. Sometimes we can and sometimes we cannot. This book helps us know when and how to maneuver and when to back off or even run, not walk, to the nearest exit.
Gonzage states that this book is based on "years of research into what makes relationships work" and he and his team have included a lot of solid "dos and don'ts" and wonderful examples of couples who found each other "the second time around." It is interesting and informative - a "must read" for those who are about to venture into the uncharted area of a new relationship after a failed marriage or failed relationship and/or years of being alone or raising children alone.
Actually, this book should be "must reading" for anyone beginning any relationship regardless of their relationship history. It would be a great gift for wedding officiants to give their prospective bride and groom with the words, "There will be a quiz" before we schedule the wedding. As a minister who has officiated at many weddings, and has read a number of "marriage manuals." I find the information in Dating the Second Time Around to be the most realistic and the most helpful. As a therapist who blogs about "Self Improvement" I find solid advice in these pages that works for anyone, whether or not they are on the dating scene. The book is relevant for singles as well as couples and in the workplace as well as at home. It is stated: "If you are able to discuss openly and honestly any issues that arise, if you learn how to argue fairly, and manage each other's emotional expectations you and your partner will be better equipped to weather any relationship storm ahead." I say, "Right on!"
Some of the highlights for me were:
Strategies for a Successful Relationship
Signs you are with the right person
How to resolve a conflict
Test you own relationship
If the only thought people take from this book is the advice to "choose happiness over your need to be right," then reading it would be time well spent. The truth is that this book has packed into 224 pages what many people don't learn in a lifetime and these pages contain wisdom and practical advice that can save relationships and spare individuals and couples times of misery and pain.
If I had to rate this book on a five-star rating in regard to relevance, helpfulness and readability I would give it six. Do I need to say that I highly recommend this book?
Irene Conlan [...]
I will recommend this to my friends who are getting out there again. Like nearly all of these types of books, this advice is not ground breaking. Rather, it reminds you of the basics, and provides some exercises that I think everyone - single or in a committed relationship - should do from time to time. It helps you keep perspective on what's important to you, and how you can be the best partner you can be for your mate.
I will admit...I find it a bit tiresome that every couple they highlight as a success met through eHarmony. It would be a bit more interesting if they mixed it up a bit, providing examples of couples who met online, as well as couples who met through friends, activities, at the coffee shop, what have you.
All in all I really do recommend this book - especially for people like me who are looking for the right person but need a little bit more in-depth look, analysis if you will, on why we are single and why we can't seem to get it right. It's enlightening. I will definitely be recommending it to a few friends who are in the same boat- great people with bad memories of failed relationships.
Hope that helps all you non-believers (like me!!!) :)