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eHarmony Guide to Dating the Second Time Around [Paperback]

Gian Gonzaga
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

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Book Description

Feb. 1 2011
The ultimate dating resource for those getting back into the dating scene!

eHarmony Guide to Dating the Second Time Around is a one-stop guide to re-entering the dating scene. Packed with invaluable advice, including self-analysis quizzes, compatibility tests, guidance on how to create the perfect online profile and encouraging success stories, this book is an indispensable tool to make dating the second time around work for you.

Published in conjunction with eHarmony, this book addresses an array of issues unique to second-round daters. From identifying what you are really looking for in a partner - rather than what you imagine you want - to avoiding the 7 signs of a desperate dater, this is the essential guide to getting it right.

The dating game has changed, but that doesn't mean it has to be daunting! Packed with hints and tips throughout, this book is a practical guide that helps daters maximize their efforts and chances of finding love again.



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About the Author

Dr. Gian Gonzaga Ph.D is the senior director of research and development at eHarmony Labs. He has taught, presented and published extensively on topics relating to relationships, love and health, and has received numerous awards for his work, including the prestigious National Science Foundation Minority Predoctoral Fellowship and Psi Chi National Undergraduate Research Competition. He is a member of several associations including the American Psychological Association, the American Psychological Society, the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, and more.

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5.0 out of 5 stars Great book on the topic Aug. 15 2012
Format:Paperback
Lots of examples, many practical exercises, the content is well structured, it helps understanding yourself better, this book leads to concrete results for successful dating strategies.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 3.1 out of 5 stars  13 reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read If You're Looking for a Lasting Relationship April 14 2011
By Irene Conlan - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
This book takes you from insecurity about meeting someone new through the dating process to doing what it takes to make a committed relationship work. After reading through to the last page, my initial thoughts about this book are:

I wish I had written it.
I wish I had read it before I got married years ago and before I became interested in a new relationship as a senior citizen. (Yep, even seniors are looking for love and companionship.)

This is a book of common sense. Unfortunately, sometimes in matters of the heart, common sense goes flying out the window and we think we can maneuver those treacherous waters of romance alone. Sometimes we can and sometimes we cannot. This book helps us know when and how to maneuver and when to back off or even run, not walk, to the nearest exit.

Gonzage states that this book is based on "years of research into what makes relationships work" and he and his team have included a lot of solid "dos and don'ts" and wonderful examples of couples who found each other "the second time around." It is interesting and informative - a "must read" for those who are about to venture into the uncharted area of a new relationship after a failed marriage or failed relationship and/or years of being alone or raising children alone.

Actually, this book should be "must reading" for anyone beginning any relationship regardless of their relationship history. It would be a great gift for wedding officiants to give their prospective bride and groom with the words, "There will be a quiz" before we schedule the wedding. As a minister who has officiated at many weddings, and has read a number of "marriage manuals." I find the information in Dating the Second Time Around to be the most realistic and the most helpful. As a therapist who blogs about "Self Improvement" I find solid advice in these pages that works for anyone, whether or not they are on the dating scene. The book is relevant for singles as well as couples and in the workplace as well as at home. It is stated: "If you are able to discuss openly and honestly any issues that arise, if you learn how to argue fairly, and manage each other's emotional expectations you and your partner will be better equipped to weather any relationship storm ahead." I say, "Right on!"

Some of the highlights for me were:

Strategies for a Successful Relationship
Signs you are with the right person
How to resolve a conflict
Test you own relationship

If the only thought people take from this book is the advice to "choose happiness over your need to be right," then reading it would be time well spent. The truth is that this book has packed into 224 pages what many people don't learn in a lifetime and these pages contain wisdom and practical advice that can save relationships and spare individuals and couples times of misery and pain.

If I had to rate this book on a five-star rating in regard to relevance, helpfulness and readability I would give it six. Do I need to say that I highly recommend this book?

Irene Conlan [...]
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Okay, Shameless Advert for eHarmony, But Worth the Money! May 1 2011
By concerned reader - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Yeah, it's eHarmony's book so they get to plug themselves, big deal (you'd advertise, too). However, it's worth the money. If you're looking again after divorce, get it. Seriously. Even better if you're considering eHarmony, too. Sure, it's the basics but they're rounded-up comprehensively in one place and covered more candidly than elsewhere-- written for adults who have a brain and not a lot of time for vague B.S. (i.e., this ain't their first rodeo) but keeps still things quite positive. Meant for folk seeking to get together and stay together-- so Pick-Up Artist "game"sters into "negs" and "diplaying higher value" and females spinning-up the "rationalization hamster" chasing "Alphas" (both in fear of ending up alone for want of enough effort) pay attention, you may want to read this to help make you search healthier (and possibly make what you fear happening less likely). You'd spend $9.99 (at least) buying someone a drink that goes nowhere, so spend it on something more beneficial instead.
13 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars GREAT read! Feb. 2 2011
By Lisa4301 - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
First of all, as a non-believer of online dating and formulas/quizzes/guided set ups for dating in general, I was not happy initially when I received this book as a gift from my sister (who by the way, met her fiance on Eharmony). Nevertheless, I decided to read it and all I can say is WOW! I was impressed with the formulas and thoughts they brought up to get me thinking about my dating style and more importantly, myself and what I have been doing with my love life for the past, oh, 15 years! I have read dating books before, but this one is very different. It got me thinking about what is most important, what I am really looking for, what is a deal breaker and what is tolerable. It also taught me a lot about myself and after a lot of self-reflection and an effort to be honest with myself, I learned a lot about what I've really been doing with my personal life and why many of my relationships didn't work out. Also, being a single mother, it was nice to find a section on introducing my kids to my date when the time is right - other books either didn't touch on it or didn't provide enough reasoning behind what to do/when to do it, but I found it to be helpful in this book.
All in all I really do recommend this book - especially for people like me who are looking for the right person but need a little bit more in-depth look, analysis if you will, on why we are single and why we can't seem to get it right. It's enlightening. I will definitely be recommending it to a few friends who are in the same boat- great people with bad memories of failed relationships.
Hope that helps all you non-believers (like me!!!) :)
8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great for those dating a "second time arounder" March 23 2011
By Colleen - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
A friend enjoyed this book and mentioned it to me. I'm actually dating someone who is divorced, so it was interesting for me to read a book directing at folks who have been out of the game for a while.

I will recommend this to my friends who are getting out there again. Like nearly all of these types of books, this advice is not ground breaking. Rather, it reminds you of the basics, and provides some exercises that I think everyone - single or in a committed relationship - should do from time to time. It helps you keep perspective on what's important to you, and how you can be the best partner you can be for your mate.

I will admit...I find it a bit tiresome that every couple they highlight as a success met through eHarmony. It would be a bit more interesting if they mixed it up a bit, providing examples of couples who met online, as well as couples who met through friends, activities, at the coffee shop, what have you.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book July 25 2011
By L. Vann - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
While I haven't finished reading the book, what I have read so far is material that I would recommend to my counseling clients who are looking to start dating again after they have had a significant break up and taken some time off to reflect about what has happened in the most recent relationship, but in previous relationships, too. I think that the journaling questions are helpful.
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