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Back When We Were Grownups
 
 

Back When We Were Grownups (Paperback)

by Anne Tyler (Author)
3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (183 customer reviews)
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Product Description

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The first sentence of Anne Tyler's 15th novel sounds like something out of a fairy tale: "Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person." Alas, this discovery has less to do with magic than with a late-middle-age crisis, which is visited upon Rebecca Davitch in the opening pages of Back When We Were Grownups. At 53, this perpetually agreeable widow is "wide and soft and dimpled, with two short wings of dry, fair hair flaring almost horizontally from a center part." Given her role as the matriarch of a large family--and the proprietress of a party-and-catering concern, the Open Arms--Rebecca is both personally and professionally inclined toward jollity. But at an engagement bash for one of her multiple stepdaughters, she finds herself questioning everything about her life: "How on earth did I get like this? How? How did I ever become this person who's not really me?"

She spends the rest of the novel attempting to answer these questions--and trying to resurrect her older, extinguished self. Should she take up the research she began back in college on Robert E. Lee's motivation for joining the Confederacy? More to the point, should she take up with her college sweetheart, who's now divorced and living within easy striking range? None of these quick fixes pans out exactly as Rebecca imagines. What she emerges with is a kind of radiant resignation, best expressed by 100-year-old Poppy on his birthday: "There is no true life. Your true life is the one you end up with, whatever it may be." A tautology, perhaps, but Tyler's delicate, densely populated novel makes it stick.

Yes, Poppy. There are also characters named NoNo, Biddy, and Min Foo--the sort of saccharine roll call that might send many a reader scampering in the opposite direction. But Tyler knows exactly how to mingle the sweet with the sour, and in Back When We Were Grownups she manages this balancing act like the old pro she is. Even the familiar backdrop--shabby-genteel Baltimore, which resembles a virtual game preserve of Tylerian eccentrics--seems freshly observed. Can any human being really resist this novel? It is, to quote Rebecca, "a report on what it was like to be alive," and an appealingly accurate one to boot. --James Marcus



From Publishers Weekly

On the first page of Tyler's stunning new novel, Rebecca Davitch, the heroine (and heroine is exactly the right word) realizes that she has become the "wrong person." No longer the "serene and dignified young woman" she was at 20, at 53 Rebecca finds she has become family caretaker and cheerleader, a woman with a "style of dress edging dangerously close to Bag Lady." So she tries to do something about it. In the midst of her busy life as mother, grandmother and proprietor of the family business, the Open Arms (she hosts parties in the family's old Baltimore row house), Rebecca attempts to pick up the life she was leading before she married, back when she felt grownup. She visits her hometown in Virginia, locates the boyfriend she jilted and renews her intellectual interests. But as Rebecca ponders the life-that-might-have-been, the reader learns about the life-that-was. At 20, she left college and abandoned her high school sweetheart to marry a man who already had a large family to support. A year later, she had a baby of her own; five years later, her husband died in an auto accident, and she was left to raise four daughters, tend to her aging uncle-in-law and support them all. And a difficult lot they are, seldom crediting Rebecca for holding her rangy family together. Yet like all of Tyler's characters, they are charming in their dysfunction. And much as one feels for Rebecca, much as one wants her to find love, it's difficult to imagine her leaving or upsetting the family order. Tyler (The Accidental Tourist; Breathing Lessons) has a gift for creating endearing characters, but readers should find Rebecca particularly appealing, for despite the blows she takes, she bravely keeps on trying. Tyler also has a gift genius is more like it for unfurling intricate stories effortlessly, as if by whimsy or accident. The ease of her storytelling here is breathtaking, but almost unnoticeable because, rather like Rebecca, Tyler never calls attention to what she does. Late in the novel, Rebecca observes that her younger self had wanted to believe "that there were grander motivations in history than mere family and friends, mere domestic happenstance." Tyler makes it plain: nothing could be more grand. (May 8)Forecast: A 250,000 first printing seems almost modest considering the charms of Tyler's latest and the devotion of her readers. A Random House audiobook and a large-print edition will appear simultaneously, and the book is a BOMC main selection and an alternate selection of QPB, the Literary Guild, the Doubleday Book Club and Doubleday Large Print.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.


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Customer Reviews

183 Reviews
5 star:
 (66)
4 star:
 (44)
3 star:
 (36)
2 star:
 (26)
1 star:
 (11)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.7 out of 5 stars (183 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most helpful customer reviews

 
5.0 out of 5 stars Have You Ever Wondered What Your Life Could Have Been Like?, April 29 2004
By Sophie Cacique Gaul (Austin, Tejas) - See all my reviews
Rebecca, known as Beck to the Davitch clan, made a sudden decision back in her college days to breakup with her studious boyfriend, Will Allenby, for a whirlwind courtship with the older Joe Davitch, an exciting grownup whose wife had left him with three small daughters. However Joe died six years into their marriage, leaving her with three stepdaughters and one of her own, all in a house constantly in need of repair. Plus, Rebecca's ninety-nine year old uncle-in-law, who lives on the top floor, is obsessed with his upcoming 100th birthday party and Rebecca's and Joe's daughter is just about to give birth to her third child from her third marriage.

Now fifty-four years old, Rebecca looks back over her life with questions and self-doubts. What would her life have been like if she'd married Will? Her reflections become sort of a midlife meditation, an obsession and her family doesn't even seem to notice. Casting her mind back to her college days, she decides to look up Will. However, when she meets him, she finds that he has turned into a prematurely old fussbudget without any social graces whatsoever.

What comes next, I can't tell here. Howeverm I will say that you will enjoy going where Anne Tyler will take you in this wonderful story. She is a master storyteller who writes with a style and grace that is so beautiful it almost makes you want to cry.

Sophie Cacique Gaul

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5.0 out of 5 stars Can't stop now!!, Jun 11 2002
By Joy M. Haynes (Raleigh, NC) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This was my first Anne Tyler book - now I'm hooked. I think everyone can relate to this character in one way or another. This book really looked at the split in the road of life and I loved the way her character stayed independent in the end.

I've now passed this book to two other readers and everyone loves it. We are now on our fourth book in our "Anne Tyler Book Club". If you liked this one you will love another one of her books - Accidental Tourist. You just can't put it down!

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5.0 out of 5 stars I really enjoyed it., Jun 9 2002
By Lynn Plott (Boulder City, NV United States) - See all my reviews
At first, I was afraid there were too many characters and that I would not be able to remember who was who. But instead, I became to know each member of Rebecca's family, and extended family, and enjoyed each and every one. I was truly sorry when I had finished the book because I feel like I came to know Rebecca, and her family, and will miss them.
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Most recent customer reviews

3.0 out of 5 stars An Awful Lot of Promotion
Anne Tyler had quite a bit of promotion for this book. Considering the hype and readers group info I expected a gem. Not really what happened!! Read more
Published on Jun 9 2002 by Beau Thurnauer

3.0 out of 5 stars Good, but confusing
I liked this book a lot. I liked how Rebecca came to a realization in her life that maybe she wasn't who she thought she was. Read more
Published on Jun 4 2002 by J. Peterson

4.0 out of 5 stars Back When We Were GrownUps
Fantastic, well-written page turner that I'd highly recommend. If I had a criticism, it's that the main love story in this book remains unresolved -- and the writing is weak... Read more
Published on Jun 2 2002

5.0 out of 5 stars Turned Me into a Tyler Fan
Reading this book kicked off a two-week reading binge of every Anne Tyler book I could find in the local library. Read more
Published on Jun 1 2002 by Virginia Lore

2.0 out of 5 stars Well written and boring
Rebecca, 53, looks back at her life and wonders over the course it has taken. She has 4 wonderful daughters, 7 grandchildren, a mother, an aunt, and an elderly person she lives... Read more
Published on May 23 2002 by zeldesse

3.0 out of 5 stars Not one of Anne's best
I have read and own every one of Anne Tyler's books and usually I love them. I didn't hate this book, but it certainly was not one of her best. Read more
Published on May 13 2002 by Fiannoula

4.0 out of 5 stars Questioning life
"Back When We Were Grownups" by Anne Tyler mirrors that questioning of life that many of us experience as we meander into middle age. Read more
Published on May 11 2002 by Beverly J. Scott

5.0 out of 5 stars How could one not relate to this beautiful story?
Anyone with a family, anyone who has ever had to settle for anything in life, anyone who has ever received a blessing from a curse will relate to this story. Read more
Published on May 8 2002 by Eve Palmer

4.0 out of 5 stars Overly Familiar
I think I've broken down the Anne Tyler formula. Novels which are narrated by male characters are instant classics, books to be read a hundred times and enjoyed letter by letter... Read more
Published on May 7 2002 by Jason A. Miller

4.0 out of 5 stars A character study in family.
Rebecca Davitch is 53 years old, widowed and rethinking her chosen path. Surrounded by family on more occasions then not, she is the instigator of parties and the glue that holds... Read more
Published on May 4 2002 by Denise Bentley

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