Galahad at Blandings (Hardcover)

On his way to London to pick up his brother Clarence (Lord Emsworth), Galahad, a dapper middle-aged man eyes the name on a sinister package that Lord Emsworth's secretary Sandy Callendar has asked him to post. The parcel is addressed to a chap named Bagshott. This detail excites Galahad's curiosity because he used to be bosom with a fellow named Bagshott. But the Bagshott that the Hon. Galahad knew (Boko) had long since retired from the earth. Discovering that the contents of said package are a pile of letters that will effectively sunder Sandy Callendar's relationship with Boko's son, Samuel Galahad Bagshott, Gally becomes determined to keep the sparring couple afloat. Having been staunchly opposed to sundered hearts since he was a boy, Galahad Threepwood is resolved to put matters right.

Sam and Sandy's dispute happens to be related to gambling and, well, naturally, the Drones Club. You see Sam stands to gain a sackful in a sweep if Tipton Plimsoll (fellow Drones Club member) weds the pretty dolt Veronica Wedge, Lord Emsworth's niece. But Sandy is diametrically opposed to the whole enterprise, urging Sam to part with the debatably generous syndicate offer. And she still hasn't forgiven Sam for telling her that she looks like a "horror from outer space" with a particular pair of glasses on. Plus, Sandy is a redhead, making the task for Gally that much more difficult - as we all know, redheaded women have short and irrational tempers. Enter the "pint-sized bozo," Wilfred Allsop, cousin of Veronica Wedge. On a bender one night in New York with his new friend Tipton Plimsoll, Willie, who somewhat "resembles the poet Shelley," reveals his affections for Lord Emsworth's pig lady, Monica Simmons. Tipton Plimsoll endorses the arrangement despite his belief that Ms. Simmons has the appearance of an "all-in wrestler."

As it is, all three of these impending alliances are dependent upon each other and the Hon. Galahad Threepwood knows it. You'll have to read the story to find out whether or not Gally is successful with his scheme to reunite the warring couples. Just know that he is a skilled raconteur and "teller of the tale." Gally will never miss a beat and he stays on top of it all, undoubtedly aided by his fondness for cocktails at all hours.

Galahad has many passions in life. One is to protect the reputation of one of his oldest and greatest friends, whiskey. Disgusted and offended by "coloured slides" and "temperance lectures" Gally goes on an anti-Tea tirade, accusing "the muck" as he calls it, of being responsible for the death of his poor, dear old friend Buffy Struggles, who "got run over by a hansom cab as he was crossing Piccadilly." Evidently, tea had sapped Buffy's strength.

Recalling another seemingly outrageous send-up, the Hon. Galahad exclaims, "The only safe way to get through life is to pickle your system thoroughly in alcohol." The story to prove the aforementioned theory involved two brothers, Freddie and Eustace Potts. Their French chef once served them a hedgehog while pretending that it was a chicken just to save some money. Well, Eustace, who was a "teetotaler" nearly died, but Freddie, who "had lived mostly on whiskey since early boyhood" showed no ill effects at all after consuming the carcass.

A large part of Gally wishes he could go back to his days at the Pelican Club. There, he would fascinate the members with his inimitable wit, and tireless devotion to mopping the sauce up like a vacuum cleaner in London pubs. Galahad happily recalls his days of getting pinched by the gendarmerie for being drunken and disorderly, vaunting that it would always take three of them to drag him away to the jug.

I recommend this book, especially as a device for teaching English. As the plot thickens, and it does thicken, especially when the Empress gets pie-eyed, and Gally is stretched not quite to his limits, the reader becomes aware that the Hon. Galahad could have been the Prime Minister if he had wanted to. Threepwood is a leader of the first rank - truly a man that we can all look up to. What Ho, Gally?