Thieves Dozen (Paperback)

Dortmunder, who is incredibly smart and proportionately unlucky, is the creation of Donald E. Westlake. It is interesting to note that the hilarious misfortune that plagues Dortmunder in his novels seems to be absent in any number of the stories in THIEVES' DOZEN. The hilarity, however, remains. There is at least one good belly laugh in each of these stories, and at least one wonderful turn of phrase per page. Practically any one of these stories, standing alone, is worth buying the entire book, so that with eleven of them --- a thieves' dozen, if you will --- the price of admission is a bargain.

Even the most loyal of Westlake's followers will not have all of the stories collected in THIEVES' DOZEN --- a good number of them previously appeared in Playboy. There is also a very short story --- "The Dortmunder Workout" --- that appeared in the New York Times Magazine and a wonderful tale entitled "Give Till It Hurts" that was published as a very limited edition pamphlet by the absolutely indispensable institution known as The Mysterious Bookshop. And "Jumble Sale" has appeared only in The Armchair Detective, a wonderful magazine of, alas, limited distribution. THIEVES' DOZEN also includes a Dortmunder tale that is not a Dortmunder tale. "Fugue for Felons" has never seen the light of day before now; the story behind it is somewhat complicated, and Westlake can, and does, tell the tale behind it much better than I ever could. While Dortmunder is not in "Fugue For Felons," he is certainly present, and its inclusion here is undoubtedly appropriate.

But enough of the story behind the stories. Let's get to the heart of the matter. In THIEVES' DOZEN Dortmunder tries his hand at stealing art in "Ask A Silly Question" when he is retained to steal a phony piece of sculpture and finds himself in the middle of an acrimonious domestic matter. "Hose Laugh" is a bit of a fish out of water story. Dortmunder, the quintessential city boy, finds himself in rural New York stealing a horse. There are several good laughs in this one --- you don't want to be drinking coffee while you read it --- even as you know that this is one caper who must be, by its very nature, doomed from the start.

"A Midsummer Daydream" also has a rural setting and is perhaps my personal favorite in THIEVES' DOZEN. Dortmunder and his associate Kelp are once again in upstate New York, forced to take an involuntary vacation from New York City until things cool down a bit. They find, while staying with Kelp's cousin, that there has been a robbery and that Dortmunder is the only suspect. The problem is that Dortmunder is innocent for once and is forced to play detective. The results are hilarious and, as one might expect, he is quite good at it. After all, who would be better at understanding the criminal mind?

As with any good collection of this sort, however, my favorite story keeps changing. It might be "A Midsummer Daydream" one minute, "Horse Laugh" the next, or "Fugue For Felons," with a train wreck that you can see coming but still wonder how Westlake is going to do it, with results that are at once spellbinding and mirthful. And let's not forget "Give Till It Hurts," wherein Dortmunder blunders, however briefly and brilliantly, into our world.

THIEVES' DOZEN is indispensable if you are a fan of Westlake, and Dortmunder. If you have acquaintances who are among the unenlightened, THIEVES' DOZEN is an inexpensive but addictive introduction to all things Dortmunder. Don't lend someone your copy, though. You'll never get it back. Dortmunder's sticky-fingered proclivity is contagious.

--- Reviewed by Joe Hartlaub