Blackwood Farm: The Vampire Chronicles [Abridged] [Audiobook] (Audio CD)

I loved Pandora, but I still thought Blood And Gold was great, I don't feel it merely re-treaded old ground, covered in Pandora and The Vampire Armand. I actually added it up and more than half of Blood And Gold details events outside of those books. And the parts that do retell scenes from Pandora or Armand are different, because they are seen from Marius' point of view. I've always loved his character and it's nice to get to know him a little better.

But this isn't about Blood And Gold, this is about Blackwood Farm.

If you hated Blood And Gold you might not like Blackwood Farm, not for any strong similarities, but if you are one of the people who feel that Rice's writing has gone downhill, I don't sense any major difference between this and her other recent output.

I loved Blackwood Farm. I loved the intimate nature of experiencing the family's history without the tedious charts and family tree of Mayfair Witches. After a while I felt at home in Quinn's house.

I like the character Quinn, and I loved reading about his past, his teachers, and especially Mona.

I didn't like the vampire that sired him very much, but that's more personal taste than anything.

I should also note that I started reading Mayfair Witches *after* I read Blackwood Farm.

But if you are like me, and you didn't mind Memnoch The Devil, loved Pandora, had to fight through The Vampire Armand (all the boring descriptions of Vennis and it takes so long for him to become a vampire), and liked Blood And Gold, for instance, then I think there is a good chance you'll enjoy Blackwood Farm.

The entirety of the book is narrated by Quinn Blackwood, a very hard-to-like character despite his many similarities to Louis, the other "sensitive"-type vampire prominent in the Chronicles. Quinn's relationship with Goblin, his doppelganger and spirit companion, could have proved fascinating plot fodder, but the very character of Quinn is so off-putting it's difficult to enjoy. His story is filled over the top with angst ("Oh, it's so difficult to be a ridiculously wealthy 18-year-old Southern Catholic genius who sees ghosts...") and a rather nauseating relationship with fellow 15-year-old chronically ill promiscuous rich genius Mona Mayfair. If this is starting to sound a little absurd, you're about right. Mona is a detestable character: pretentious, self-pitying at turns and ridiculously self-assured at others, and fancies herself the drowning Ophelia of Shakespeare fame (stereotypically Gothic angst, anyone?). Finally, the story is tedious and Quinn's narration plods and falls very flat, very often.

Truly, the only thing saving this particular installment of the VampChrons is the mere PRESENCE of Lestat. I say "presence" because as any Lestat fan will tell you, since his awakening in "Merrick" he just hasn't been the same character he once was, and the rather unpleasant change becomes even more apparent in "Blackwood Farm". I really can't hate Anne Rice's earlier work; I loved every Chronicle, including "Memnoch" which many did not, and "Blood and Gold" which for some reason suffers horrible Amazon reviews (in all honesty, I really liked that one!). But everything from "Merrick" onward, I simply prefer to pretend they're an entirely different narrative that's not even part of the VampChrons we all know and love. I haven't yet read "Blood Canticle", but rest assured it will not be a love for the new characters or high hopes for the writing that drive me to read it; rather, a sense of completion and sheer fangirlish Lestat-love, which was incidentally what brought me back to these after finishing "Blood and Gold" and vowing to be through with the Vampire Chronicles forever. If only Rice hadn't been driven by the same kind of whim, we might not have to deal with such disappointing books as "Blackwood Farm".

Tarquin Blackwood, a young vampire, arrives at the Vampire Lestat's apartment to deliver a letter asking for his help. Before he can drop it off, however, Lestat himself appears and take Quinn under his wing. But after the two of them feed, Lestat sees a strange spirit-like creature attach itself to Quinn, sucking some of the blood from him. This is Goblin, an invisible doppelganger who has been with Quinn his whole life.

Quinn recounts his life to Lestat: His childhood with Goblin, the invisible friend who never went away, quirky Aunt Queen and his mother, a vicious country singer called Patsy. He tells of his run-ins with the sexy ghost of his ancestor's mistress, his love for the promiscuous Mona Mayfair, and the strange events that led him to become a "Blood Hunter." Except that now that he is a vampire, Goblin is becoming more powerful -- and malevolent -- as well.

"Blackwood Farm" starts off strong with supernatural mystery and mayhem in a Southern Gothic setting, with plenty of dirty family secrets, murder and ghosts. But as soon as Lestat starts listening to Quinn talk about his life, things start to drag. It wouldn't be surprising if Lestat wandered off to watch TV during the course of Quinn's monologue. It's that dull.

Occasionally Quinn offers a tidbit that is genuinely enticing, like the intricacies of his Southern gothic family, or the clues he uncovers about the beautiful, evil Rebecca. But it often feels like Rice is trying too hard to make it all feel surreal and supernatural. Hermaphrodite vampires and sex with spirits? Her lovely prose can't gloss over the self-conscious weirdness.

And Rice's writing is undeniably lovely, full of an aesthete's love of velvets and marble and cameos and so forth. The dialogue is where she stumbles -- there's too much of it. At the start of the book, there is an entire chapter of Lestat bickering with a Talamasca. And when he decides to seduce a thirtysomething servant, Quinn has what may be the worst (and most racist) pickup line in history: "Be my chocolate candy. I'm real unsure of my masculinity." Time to swoon, girls.

It doesn't help that Quinn isn't a terribly interesting character either. He's basically a hormonal, immature teenage boy who can see ghosts. Aunt Queen, with her love of cameos, is a far more engaging character, while Patsy is fairly two-dimensional, if easily hateable. Lestat is enigmatic and alluring, for the relatively small part of the book he's actually in.

"Blackwood Farm" is too stretched out for its own good, but it's far from the worst Anne Rice has written. At the end, it feels unfulfilling and empty, like a looming mansion filled with nothing but ghosts.