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Birthmothers: Women Who Have Relinquished Babies for Adoption Tell Their Stories
 
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Birthmothers: Women Who Have Relinquished Babies for Adoption Tell Their Stories (Paperback)

by Merry Bloch Jones (Author)
3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
Price: CDN$ 20.65 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over CDN$ 39. Details
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From Publishers Weekly

Often revealing their experiences for the first time, 72 American mothers who gave up their babies answered questionnaires and participated in in-depth interviews with sociologist Jones ( Step Mother ) for this searching study. Although their ages and backgrounds vary widely, almost all of the mothers, the author notes, share regrets about their decision to relinquish their babies, with a majority reporting troubled marriages. Most traumatized among those interviewed were teenagers too young to have a voice in the decision to surrender the baby, or who felt stigmatized by illegitimacy. Sixty percent of those who gave up a baby to adoption agencies that "seal" records later sought to locate their children. A chapter titled "Finding, Winning and Losing" sums up the obstacles to establishing intimacy after reunion, and discusses relationships between birth parents and adoptive parents. First serial to New Woman.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.


From Library Journal

In a well-written, compelling narrative, Jones tells the poignant stories of over 70 birthmothers whose babies have been adopted. These adoptions took place from the 1950s until the 1980s, and the mothers came from a variety of backgrounds. Their stories add much to the anecdotal study of adoption and unwanted pregnancies, particularly their reflections on society's attitudes. Although this compelling book adds much to our anecdotal knowledge, the author's conclusions must be interpreted with caution, especially because relatively few birthmothers were interviewed (a nonrandom sample from the approximately six million birthmothers in the United States) and they cover so many eras and backgrounds. Jones acknowledges that the book is about some , not all, birthmothers. Recommended for public and undergraduate libraries.
- Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, Md.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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3 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
3.7 out of 5 stars (3 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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1.0 out of 5 stars Informative- Yes; Encouraging- No, May 22 2004
By Keren M Hart (San Diego, CA) - See all my reviews
As a young woman (Birthmother)who has selected adoption as the best choice for an unplanned pregnancy, I would say that I found this book disturbing at times, downright upsetting at others. I would argue that while there are some common themes that could be drawn upon in writing this acccount; there were too many "scary stories" included in this book to make it credible as any worthwhile reccomendation for the average birthmother, adoptee, or adoptive parent. The author documented incidences of incestuous relationships between birthparents and their relinquished children in a way that made them sound somewhat typical; this was unsupported, and in my opinion a disservice to the entire piece's integrity. She also coined a phrase, "The Birthmother Syndrome" wherein attempts were made at classifying, categorizing, and diagnosing women who have been through a similar experience, but cannot possibly be so easily analyzed as she has done here. Ultimately this book (from my perspective) propagated stereotypes and was a discouraging piece to read
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5.0 out of 5 stars A painful and compassionate eye-opener, Sep 6 2003
This is a beautifully written and valuable book for our understanding of birthmothers who describe experiences in both closed and open adoptions. Many have grieved; others have felt relief; a number have entirely repressed their emotions. Regardless of what they think about relinquishment, many continue to struggle with the emotional effects of suppressing their maternal drive in the form of rage, frustration, sorrow, guilt, and self-doubt. Many birthmothers emphasized that reunion was not a cure for the regrets, angers, or grief they faced after relinquishing. The author writes that 'even in mutually rewarding reunions, most birthmothers experienced profound sensations of loss.' Yes, I understand this feeling because I have personal experience with the birthmother of our daughter. Relinquishment occurred in 1969, when the baby was 4 days old and 28 years later our birthmother found us. Today, we love one another and our daughter has a cordial relationship with her birthmother, but our birthmother is facing the terrible reality that her grown daughter, now a mother herself, is not the needy little baby she had relinquished and a late mother-child relationship is impossible. 'Even reunions can't make it right.'
I recommend this book to everyone, not just to members of the adoption triad. It is a book about humanity.
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?
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5.0 out of 5 stars Birthmothers: Women Who Have Relinquished Babies, Dec 17 2002
An important work! I recommend that all triad members and adoption social workers read it. Jones is not a member of the adoption triad (i.e., she's not a birthmother, an adoptee, or an adoptive parent). The author interviewed birthmothers and put important nuggets of their experiences into this book. Though we don't get to know any of the birthmothers in depth, we do learn how they felt about relinquishment long-term, feelings ignored by our entire society for much too long.
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