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The Austere Academy
  
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The Austere Academy (Paperback)

by Lemony Snicket (Author) "If you were going to give a gold medal to the least delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a..." (more)
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (136 customer reviews)
Price: CDN$ 17.57 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over CDN$ 39. Details
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Product Description

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As the three Baudelaire orphans warily approach their new home--Prufrock Preparatory School--they can't help but notice the enormous stone arch bearing the school's motto Memento Mori, or "Remember you will die." This is not a cheerful greeting, and certainly marks an inauspicious beginning to a very bleak story. Of course, this is what we have come to expect from Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events, the deliciously morbid set of books that began with The Bad Beginning and only got worse.

In The Austere Academy, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are at first optimistic--attending school is a welcome change for the book-loving trio, and the academy is allegedly safe from the dreaded Count Olaf, who is after their fortune. Hope dissipates quickly, however, when they meet Vice Principal Nero, a self-professed genius violinist who sneeringly imitates their every word. More dreadful still, he houses them in the tin Orphans Shack, crawling with toe-biting crabs and dripping with a mysterious tan fungus. A beam of light shines through the despair when the Baudelaires meet the Quagmires, two of three orphaned triplets who are no strangers to disaster and sympathize with their predicament. When Count Olaf appears on the scene disguised as Coach Genghis (covering his monobrow with a turban and his ankle tattoo with expensive running shoes), the Quagmires resolve to come to the aid of their new friends. Sadly, this proves to be a hideous mistake.

Snicket disarms us again with his playful juxtapositions--only he can compare bombs with strawberry shortcake (both are as dangerous to make as assumptions), muse on how babies adjust developmentally to the idea of curtains, or ponder why the Baudelaire orphans would not want to be stalks of celery despite their incessant bad luck as humans. We can't get enough of this splendid series of misadventures, and can only wager that swarms of young readers will be right next to us in line for the next installment. (Ages 9 and older) --Karin Snelson --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.



From School Library Journal

Grade 4-7-In this fifth entry in the saga of the three Baudelaire children, the siblings are sent to a boarding school where they are tormented because they are orphans. There is the usual array of stupid/evil adults including the ridiculous Vice Principal Nero, who mimics everything that Klaus and Violet say and employs baby Sunny as his secretary because she is too young to attend class. Brown-nosing brats like Carmelita Spats make the children's lives even more miserable. The ending is a cliff-hanger as the evil Count Olaf, disguised as Coach Genghis, the new gym teacher, drives off with the orphans' only friends. In these days of Harry Potter, this book is a pesky nuisance, with little plot to drive it, situations that fall short of being interesting or off-the-wall, and cardboard characters. The author strains to be eccentric and his constant interruptions in the narrative to define a word or phrase are jarring at best.
Ann Cook, Winter Park Public Library, FL
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
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First Sentence
If you were going to give a gold medal to the least delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a person named Carmelita Spats, and if you didn't give it to her, Carmelita Spats was the sort of person who would snatch it from your hands anyway. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

136 Reviews
5 star:
 (101)
4 star:
 (20)
3 star:
 (9)
2 star:
 (2)
1 star:
 (4)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.6 out of 5 stars (136 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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1.0 out of 5 stars terrible shouldnt be published!!!, Jun 8 2004
By scotto (sumwere) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Series Of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy (Hardcover)
this book is very disapointing in that u cant read one book you have to read every book in the series so that it makes sense

and constantly the author explains his words as if no one knows what lucky means?????
geeeeez
not good i am disapointed
and i have to write a novel study ont this book bah

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5.0 out of 5 stars Tremendous, Jun 4 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Series Of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy (Hardcover)
This book is the best book I have ever read. I love all of the books in this series, but this is one of my favorite of them all. I recommend all of the books as well as this one.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!, Jun 4 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Series Of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy (Hardcover)
In this book the Baudelaire are faced with numerous of situations that can change there lifes forever. They must once agein try proving count ofal's identity, run laps every night, pass many exams, and still manage to sleep. But, with the help of there friends, the two Quagmire triplets, they manage to survive. Until something terrible happenes to Quagmire triplets, thanks to there own forturn, and coach Genghis.

I think this book is the best in its series, this is because it has a little bit of everything in it, and you can relate to it more than the other books. This is because, it is all about the
having to deal with unfairness, and I am sure we all think we have that. But from werid teachers, to even bullys, the Baudelaires have another adventure that is worth reading, so go and read this book I'm sure you woun't put it down!

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 		 Most recent customer reviews

3.0 out of 5 stars Will the Real Lemony Snicket Please Stand Up!
I am surprised and saddened to report that on reading books one through five of the Unfortunate Events series, I have discovered with this volume that Lemony Snicket is a fraud,... Read more
Published on May 25 2004 by Kelly Langston-Smith

5.0 out of 5 stars A GREAT BOOK
This book is about two sisters and their brother. They are always having bad things happen to them. In the first book of the series their parents die in a fire. Read more
Published on May 19 2004

4.0 out of 5 stars The Baudelaires book 5
The author of The Austere Academy is Lemony Snicket. Every book in the whole series is always dreadful and mischievous. At the same time it is full of action. Read more
Published on April 26 2004

5.0 out of 5 stars Don't let the momento mori pass you by
Further dire straights for the siblings three. Now our Baudelaire friends have been plunged into the depths of academia. Read more
Published on April 20 2004 by E. R. Bird

5.0 out of 5 stars Wowwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!
I loved this book! It is really good. All of Lemony Snicket's books are good, but starting at five, they get reeally good! I would definitley recomend this book. Read more
Published on Mar 28 2004

5.0 out of 5 stars The Baudelaire's Unfortunate Events- Part 5
A Series of Unfortunate Events The Austere Academy
by Lemony Snicket
Reviewed by J.Fitterer
Period 5

In this story the Baudelaires are sent to an academy called the... Read more

Published on Mar 28 2004 by Mary Fitterer

5.0 out of 5 stars These books are outstanding for children
Outstanding books (the entire series)
Published on Mar 28 2004 by C. B. Cape

5.0 out of 5 stars the monsterous monster and the ingenious inventor
count olaf is back again, lookin good, and keeping up his disgusting disguises and evil schemes. this time he has running equipment to so he can escape from mr. Read more
Published on Mar 15 2004 by rheaa

5.0 out of 5 stars Rachelle from clarksville
Its about three orphans whos parents had died when they were young, and they are always getting sent to different places, and how theyalways have to change their locations becuase... Read more
Published on Mar 10 2004

3.0 out of 5 stars Michael Richview Middle
This book mainly involves three orphans called the Bauldinlares. The
Bauldinlares are Violet, Klaus, Sunny. Read more
Published on Mar 10 2004

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