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When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
 
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When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Paperback)

by Pema Chodron (Author)
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (67 customer reviews)
List Price: CDN$ 19.95
Price: CDN$ 14.56 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over CDN$ 39. Details
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When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times + The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times + Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living
Total List Price: CDN$ 60.85
Price For All Three: CDN$ 44.41

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  • This item: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron

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Product Description

From Amazon.com

Much like Zen, Pema Chodron's interpretation of Tibetan Buddhism takes the form of a nontheistic spiritualism. In When Things Fall Apart this head of a Tibetan monastery in Canada outlines some relevant and deceptively profound terms of Tibetan Buddhism that are germane to modern issues. The key to all of these terms is accepting that in the final analysis, life is groundless. By letting go, we free ourselves to face fear and obstacles and offer ourselves unflinchingly to others. The graceful, conversational tone of Chodron's writing gives the impression of sitting on a pillow across from her, listening to her everyday examples of Buddhist wisdom. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.


From Publishers Weekly

Pema Chodron, a student of Chogyam Trunpa Rinpoche and Abbot of Gampo Abbey, has written the Tibetan Buddhist equivalent of Harold Kushner's famous book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People. As the author indicates in the postscript to her book: "We live in difficult times. One senses a possibility they may get worse." Consequently, Chodron's book is filled with useful advice about how Buddhism helps readers to cope with the grim realities of modern life, including fear, despair, rage and the feeling that we are not in control of our lives. Through reflections on the central Buddhist teaching of right mindfulness, Chodron orients readers and gives them language with which to shape their thinking about the ordinary and extraordinary traumas of modern life. But most importantly, Chodron demonstrates how effective the Buddhist point of view can be in bringing order into disordered lives.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
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Customer Reviews

67 Reviews
5 star:
 (51)
4 star:
 (6)
3 star:
 (2)
2 star:
 (4)
1 star:
 (4)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.4 out of 5 stars (67 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most helpful customer reviews

 
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Good for accepting loss and grief, Aug 5 2002
By K. Winters (London, UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
At the end of a six year relationship, I found Pema's words to be a great source of comfort. There is no magic wand or pill or distraction that will make our fear, pain and lonliness disappear.

Pema's advice for us to sit with our uncomfortable feelings, to face them, acknowledge them without judgement and to appreciate the sense of being groundless were the words that helped me accept my situation.

Life is about impermanence, change is inevitable. I am trying to find peace in the chaos that is life, to take things one day at a time and not create grand illusions of what my life will be like.

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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, Mar 1 2007
My friend gave me this book when things weren't 'falling apart'. I thought that it was a rather bleak title for that time in my life. But when I finally picked it up, I understood the teachings as being relevant to anytime in one's life. You don't have to be a Buddhist to appreciate the simple facts that things change, and that for some people it helps to surrender to change, and to release our clenched grasp on the things we want, always in a state of desire or aversion. I've read some of the other reviews and see that this book isn't for everyone: it can come across as bleak if you aren't open to the concept of detachment or surrender. I loved Pema's statement that we often are all looking for that 'higher-force babysitter' to which we can beg to end our suffering for us and to give us what we want. Perhaps this may offend some with certain religious beliefs. However, I thought it was daringly honest and quite insightful, and in a sense encouraging for us to stop trying to plead with the universe that our circumstances will improve, and just learn how to handle life as it comes at us. I have lent this book to many people during hard times in their lives, including a friend sorting through childhood trauma, and they got a lot out of it. Key message: life can be difficult and is always unpredictable, learn to ride it out rather than run away from it.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Magnificent Gift, Sep 11 2003
By Bill Lee (the author of) - See all my reviews
If I had read this book six months ago, it would not have had the same impact. A recent crisis provided the opportunity to embrace Pema's voice. In our culture, we tend to focus on our own pain and issues. Tonglen, on the other hand, encourages using life's challenges as a way to spread kindness and compassion.

Admittedly, the initial concepts appeared bizarre to me. "Make friends with your demons" and "Chaos should be regarded as extremely good news" came across as masochistic. But when one has hit rock bottom, we tend to discover our humility, which allows us to be more open to new ideas. When I read the phrase "Things become very clear when there is nowhere to escape," I found myself nodding in agreement. From that point on, I embraced each line-word for word.

The best gift one can give to themselves or others is a copy of "When Things Fall Apart." It is indeed a book that I found much hope and comfort in. I just ordered Pema's book collection and look forward to learning more about practicing tonglen from her.

Some of my other favorite passages from the book:

"...nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. If we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we find the very same problem waiting for us when we arrive. It just keeps returning with new names, forms, and manifestations..."

"As long as we don't want to be honest and kind with ourselves, then we are always going to be infants. When we begin just to try to accept ourselves, the ancient burden of self-importance lightens up considerably. Finally there's room for genuine inquisitiveness, and we find we have an appetite for what's out there."

"...the person we set out to help may trigger unresolved issues in us. Even though we want to help, and maybe we do help for a few days or a month or two, sooner or later someone walks through that door and pushes all our buttons. We find ourselves hating those people or scared of them or feeling like we just can't handle them. This is true always, if we are sincere about wanting to benefit others. Sooner or later, all our own unresolved issues will come up; we'll be confronted with ourselves."

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 		 Most recent customer reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars Loosening the Painful Grip of Life
I read this book because it is highly recommended and I wanted to learn more about Buddhism. I reviewed it in four posts on my blog ([... Read more
Published 22 days ago by Jo-Ann

5.0 out of 5 stars Infinite Power for Living
I grew up and was deeply involved in a moderate Baptist church. For much of my life I considered myself a "good" Christian who knew that Jesus died for my sins and therefore I... Read more
Published on May 11 2004 by C. Stan Cross

2.0 out of 5 stars OVERATED and MIND NUMBINGLY BORING
I do not understand the fascination with Pema Chodron's works. Her voice sounds like somenoe who has never known a day of joy in her life. Read more
Published on April 14 2004

5.0 out of 5 stars Great work
Pema Chodron is a beloved American Buddhist nun who trained under Chogyam Trungpa, the at times controversial Tibetan meditation master. Read more
Published on Feb 29 2004 by Swing King

4.0 out of 5 stars Buddhism and compassion simplified
This book tells you what is most important, have compassion for yourself first, then you can have compassion for others.
Published on Feb 18 2004

1.0 out of 5 stars This book will mislead you from the real path
I reviewed this book last year and gave it five stars. But now I give it 0 stars because my life since then has been a hopeless living. Read more
Published on Feb 16 2004 by Junu Thomas

5.0 out of 5 stars A new perspective is often a better perspective
I guess most people who pick up this book will have some aspect of their lives that is falling apart at the time. I certainly did. The title really is very captivating. Read more
Published on Oct 27 2003 by A. G. Plumb

5.0 out of 5 stars An Emergency Kit When Your World Turns Upside Down
What do you do when your world falls apart? Where do you turn first? What do you do in those first horrible moments when your universe turns upside down? Read more
Published on Sep 19 2003 by J. Ellis

5.0 out of 5 stars This is just mind blowing !
I haven't read anything like this before in this particular category. This lady Pema is a spiritual genius. Read more
Published on May 10 2003

2.0 out of 5 stars Advice is not very useful
This book caught my attention in a bookstore at a time when I was going through a lot of stress due to things "falling apart" in my life. Read more
Published on April 27 2003 by Anoop Ghanwani

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