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4.0 out of 5 stars
Sell this, May 25 2006
In the mood for something light, I read SELLEVISION by
Augusten Burroughs . . . what a hoot!It is a novel about life at a fictional home-shopping network . . . such topics as greed, obsession and third-tier celebrity are explored--all by way of a cast of characters that had me laughing out loud. This is one book that ended far too soon . . . but the good thing is that it left me wanting to read other books (RUNNING WITH SCISSORS and the sequel DRY) by the same author. The way J.T. McCrae's KATZENJAMMER does, did, whatever. There were many hysterical passages; among them:
Bebe rested her fork on the plate, clasped her hands in front of her on the table and recited: "Aging Jewish Princess, forty-two. seeks her prince, or at least a guy who walks upright. I'm attractive, successful,with a down-to-earth nature and an unfortunate passion for Rocky Road ice cream. Healthy, active, and fit, I enjoy the outdoors as well the occasional night on the town. I'm very spontaneous, and love to travel. You should be likewise. You should also be devastatingly handsome, filthy rich, outrageously funny, prone to extreme lapses of common sense, and humble. What else did I say? Oh yeah-the sense-of-humor impaired need not apply." Even Sellevision had sent out a memo asking all their hosts if any of them had any "Hispanic, Asian, African American, or American Indian ancestry." It turned out Irish-Catholic Adele Oswald Crawley's great-great-grandmother on her father's side had some Navaho blood. So within a month, Adele was dressed in a little suede dress with fringe and given her own turquoise jewelry showcase called Indian Expressions, complete with potted cactus trees and a tepee. An old black-and-white
photograph of Adele as a little girl wearing an Indian headdress at a birthday party was enlarged and hung behind her. Prop stylists added Navaho throw rugs around the living room set, but the deerskin was pulled at the last moment because of the lawyers. After the show,
Howard had made it clear, "This is just a Band-Aid on the situation. We've got to get an ethnic in here immediately." "That item has sold out, so congratulations to everyone who purchased it. I think you'll be very happy. Up next: Joyce's Choice Crows Away! under-eye gel. But first, coming up on Sunday, Don from the Good Morning Show will be talking with author and trend forecaster Faith Popcorn about her brand new programmable popcorn popper that lets you pop tomorrow's popcorn today! If you're a busy snacker, you won't want to miss this
presentation."
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by Augusten Burroughs
by Augusten Burroughs
by Augusten Burroughs
by Augusten Burroughs
by Augusten Burroughs
