8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Impressive reading, Dec 15 2010
Getting older, we look back on events and wonder, "What was I thinking?". This is not to be lamented (unless you did some truly nasty things), it is part of the process of learning about life, of maturing. We humans are imperfect and will always be. The primary purpose of this book is to make you more "conscious" of your choices and move you to a more reasoned and mature level.
I use an example. I have a friend who has been divorced 17 years. Despite his many (non self recognized) eccentricities and way of being that would not be easy to live with, the breakup of his marriage was always and remains the exclusive fault of his wife. She was not perfect, but to believe it was all her fault is for my friend to ignore his reality - or as the author says, to not be "conscious" - is a psychological dead end.
Another friend has been divorced for 10 years. At the outset he was bitter and blaming of his wife. But over time he began to recognize there were things he brought to the relationship that were negative, that he was not perfect, nor his ex-wife imperfect. In fact he began to realize there were many strong points in the relationship, which he appreciated and valued in retrospect. It happened these feelings were reciprocated and over time the two became friends again.
What a better ending to the second story. Not only better in that the couple resolved their differences, but better in that they recognized on both sides that much value had been given each by one another. Yet more critically from the position of my second friend, he left the anger and bitterness still being experienced by my first friend - he went to a new, more reasoned and happier level. He in effect "grew up" - though there will always be room for more given our human imperfections.
This is not a glitzy self help book. Nor is it a quick read, it requires concentration and thought. But I think it is one fine book, a bit exceptional I believe.