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Patrick N. Thayer "Patrick" (Lebanon, OH USA)

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Let Freedom Ring: Winning the War of Liberty over Liberalism
Let Freedom Ring: Winning the War of Liberty over Liberalism
by Sean Hannity
Edition: Hardcover
66 used & new from CDN$ 0.18

5.0 out of 5 stars A Powerful Defense of the Republic ..., Feb. 21 2004
Sean Hannity has written a powerful and compelling defense of this 'one Nation under God.' A timely reminder of America's unique status in a very dangerous world, and the awesome duty we have to confront international terrorism. This book is a MUST READ for all Americans concerned about the future of our republic!

Battle Beyond the Stars (Widescreen) [Import]
Battle Beyond the Stars (Widescreen) [Import]
DVD ~ George Peppard
Offered by OMydeals
Price: CDN$ 57.13
10 used & new from CDN$ 29.95

5.0 out of 5 stars The ship's got boobies!!, Sept. 26 2002
The peace-loving planet Akir is attacked by the evil Sador (John Saxon), who demands their food supplies. Among the Akirians is an old warrior named Zed. Unfortunately, he is blind and unable to fight against the tyrant, but his fighting ship, Nell, still has her weapons and sense of wit intact. Nell was obviously designed by someone with a sense of humor. From the side the ship looks like a very... gifted female centaur lying down. (Look, the ship has giant boobies. Trust me.) A young man named Shad (Richard Thomas) sets out aboard Nell with one goal in mind: find mercenaries that are willing to help him defend Akir.

The characters are lots of fun, the story is good, and the special effects are above average. In fact, lots of the model work would later be used in many other movies, creating an endless supply of stock footage for New World Productions. This flick has its fare share of Star Wars rip-offs, including Shad, as a poor man's Luke Skywalker, and Cowboy, as a wino's Han Solo, but its still worth checking out.

Space Cowboy has what must be the coolest fashion accessory ever conceived: a belt that dispenses scotch, water, and ice.

Bats (Special Edition) [Import]
Bats (Special Edition) [Import]
DVD ~ Lou Diamond Phillips
Offered by MidwestMediaOverstock
Price: CDN$ 19.99
27 used & new from CDN$ 1.47

1.0 out of 5 stars A bunch of guano, Sept. 26 2002
Dr. Sheila Casper (Dina Meyer) is a respected zoologist dispatched by the government to Gallup, TX, a small community suffering from an unusual number of bat attacks. Dr. Casper finds this news puzzling, since bats are generally placid creatures that avoid contact with humans. The local sheriff, Emmett Kimsey (Lou Diamond Phillips), assures Casper that the reports are on the level and that something needs to be done about the swarms of aggressive bats that get so thick that they blot out the moon. Casper and Kimsey soon discover that the bats are actually genetically altered killers that have escaped from a loony scientist's research facility and have taken up residence in a cave near Gallup.

This flick starts with good photography, nice music, and plenty of potential. However, it's marred by Phillips' unsuccessful attempt to pass himself off as a hick sheriff and the director's fetish for the swooshing camera. The final scene looked like it was shot inside a paint mixer. This movie was a bunch of guano.

Basket Case
Basket Case
DVD ~ Kevin Van Hentenryck
Price: CDN$ 9.99
28 used & new from CDN$ 4.80

5.0 out of 5 stars He's a squid!, Sept. 26 2002
This review is from: Basket Case (DVD)
An odd yet strangely charming young man, named Duane Bradley (Kevin Van Hentenryck), checks into the decrepit and seedy Hotel Broslin in New York City carrying little more than a huge wad of cash and a heavy wicker basket. Not long afterward, Duane begins talking to something, rather, SOMEONE inside the basket who snarls and quakes while being fed a sack of hamburgers -- wrappers and all. His snoopy fellow tenants eventually discover the horrifying secret hidden within the basket - Duane's psychotic, horribly mutated Siamese twin brother Belial, who is little more than a head, two mammoth arms and hands, and a scrunched-up, partial spine. Duane and Belial were physically separated from each other ten years ago and are now hell-bent on revenge against the creepy team of doctors (one of whom is a veterinarian) who performed the grisly operation. In short order, Duane and Belial seek out each of the sleazy doctors one by one to exact their revenge, until Belial - who maintains a telepathic link with his brother - learns of Duane's newfound romance with the buxom receptionist of one of their victims (Terri Susan Smith) and is consumed with jealousy... and lust.

Made on a shoestring budget by a previously unknown filmmaker and starring an unknown cast, Basket Case is a classic of the horror genre. The cast plays their parts with both creepy realism and understated camp at the same time, and there are plenty of uncomfortably scary moments. There is also plenty of gore, but its not overdone. The creature effects, while appearing a bit dated by now, are pretty good, being a combination of claymation, simple puppetry, and acting with dead props. Definitely worth seeing.

Bruce Campbell vs. Army Of Darkness: The Director's Cut - Official Bootleg Edition (Widescreen) [Import]
Bruce Campbell vs. Army Of Darkness: The Director's Cut - Official Bootleg Edition (Widescreen) [Import]
DVD ~ Bruce Campbell
Offered by M and N Media Canada
Price: CDN$ 40.53
23 used & new from CDN$ 1.28

5.0 out of 5 stars Shop smart... shop S-Mart, Sept. 26 2002
It's understandable why they didn't just call this Evil Dead 3 -- they just about toss the horror movie idea out the window and instead give us a comedy with hilarious demon-stomping, non-stop action, and undead slapstick. This flick takes the gore and comedy of the first 2 installments of this horror trilogy and mix in sword and sorcery-style action. Ash, now a supermarket employee ("Shop smart... shop S-Mart"), is transported with his 1988 Oldsmobile to a medieval world by the powers of a mysterious book. Armed with a shotgun, his high school chemistry textbook, and a chainsaw that mounts where his missing hand was, Ash finds himself as a besieged kingdom's best hope against an "army of darkness" currently plaguing the land. The skeleton warriors have been resurrected with the aid of the Necronomicon, which is the same book that can send Ash back home. Ash agrees to go in search of the book. Along the way, he finds romance of a sort with Sheila (Embeth Davidtz) a beautiful damsel in distress (who gets "real ugly"), and fights with his double after mangling the spell he is supposed to say to safely recover the book.

An excellent tongue-in-cheek horror film that's loosely a sequel to the cult favorite Evil Dead pictures. Bruce Campbell seemed to have a bunch of fun with this one from playing Gulliver with a dozen of his miniature selves to doing a Three Stooges routine with a bunch of skeleton arms sticking out of the ground. There aren't really any scary parts in this flick, though. Every time something almost frightening happens, Ash turns it into a comedic moment with one of his many one-liners and quick comebacks.

Be sure to check out The Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2.

Angry Red Planet (Full Screen) (Sous-titres français) [Import]
Angry Red Planet (Full Screen) (Sous-titres français) [Import]
DVD ~ Gerald Mohr
Offered by 5A/30 Entertainment
Price: CDN$ 99.94
10 used & new from CDN$ 19.99

4.0 out of 5 stars Angry Red Planet, Sept. 26 2002
Three men and a woman are the first people sent to Mars, but the expedition gets in trouble, so military-men and scientists back on Earth remote-fire the rocket's engines and bring the ship back. After the ship lands the female astronaut stumbles out of the ship, and the military rushes out to help her. They interview her and she recounts what happened on their mission to Mars. The flight there went fine (very boring, filled with techno-babble and rampant sexism), but when they land, weird things begin to happen. The Martians don't want Earthmen mucking about on their world so they terrorize the crew with 3-eyed cucumber-looking peeping Toms, foam-rubber man-eating plants waiting to devour the astronauts, and trees that turn out to be a really goofy spider-monster (it looks like some sort of rat with crab legs glued to it). But the best Martian creature is a giant amoeba thing with eyeballs that twirl (imagine a WHOLE bunch of Jell-O oozing across the Martian landscape) that appears while the explorers are paddling their rubber raft across a Martian lake.

This is one of those "aliens warning man that we are too violent" movies, and its not really all that bad. They attempted to make the set with its lakes and jungle look like Mars (yes I said lakes and a jungle) by filming everything as a reverse negative through the brightest red gel filter ever made, that way they could get away with cheap props and crudely sketched backdrops because you couldn't see anything anyways. To get the same effect try watching a movie through a glass of cherry Cool-Aid. It gets really annoying really fast. The acting isn't too bad, but the effects are, especially the creature effects. Still it's a fun '50s sci-fi adventure.

Anaconda (Full Screen)
Anaconda (Full Screen)
DVD ~ Jon Voight
Offered by OMydeals
Price: CDN$ 48.00
12 used & new from CDN$ 2.99

4.0 out of 5 stars Anaconda, Sept. 26 2002
This review is from: Anaconda (Full Screen) (DVD)
A group of filmmakers looking for a lost native tribe instead finds a man-eating monster in this thriller. Terri Flores (Jennifer Lopez) is a documentary filmmaker on assignment to make a film about the Shirishama Indians of the Amazon, a mysterious tribe known as "The People of the Mists." As Terri and her crew - cameraman Danny Rich (Ice Cube), sound engineer Gary Dixon (Owen Wilson), anthropologist Steve Cale (Eric Stoltz), production manager Denise Kahlberg (Kari Wuhrer), and host Warren Westridge (Jonathan Hyde) - head down the river, they discover a man whose boat has sunk and desperately needs rescue. Paul Sarone (Jon Voight), the mysterious stranger that they save from the waters, claims to know something of the Shirishama and says he will take the crew to them. Instead, he guides the group to the hiding place of the fearsome Anaconda, a gigantic snake that swallows a man whole, vomits him up, and eats him again. The snake is worth a fortune if captured, but its not going to go without a fight.

Among the film's many delights are laughable dialogue and cheap shock thrills (so many objects leap out at viewers unexpectedly, you would think the picture was filmed in 3D). All of these elements keep the film's energy up as the body count predictably mounts. The anaconda itself is a supernaturally gifted critter with the ability to swallow a man whole, yet still maintains the fitness to move at the speed of lightning. Stalking its prey, the snake switches back and forth between a CG Loch Ness Monster to what seems to be a length of over-sized garden hose. Then there's Voight as a Great White Hunter with a marble-mouthed accent. Voight knows how bad the script is here and just sinks his fangs into a juicy, sleazy, horny, greedy character. This flick is trash, but it's fun trash.

Alligator II: the Mutation
Alligator II: the Mutation

2.0 out of 5 stars Alligator 2: The Mutation, Sept. 26 2002
This flick is not so much a sequel to Alligator as a shoddy remake. This sophomoric low-budget effort plays like a bad TV movie about a swamp-dwelling alligator mutated to monstrous size by toxic waste, munching on the screaming residents of a lakefront community. The naughty polluter who caused this mutation is the property developer himself (Steve Railsback). Wacky, rebel (well he's supposed to be) cop, David Hodges (Joseph Bologna) is investigating the mutilation/murders. You know he's wacky and a rebel because every time he does something wacky or rebellious, these two other cops say, "Hodges" and nod their heads while some corny music plays. In an attempt to remedy the situation, a big-game hunter from the bayou (Richard Lynch) is called in to bag the beast. And, you have to applaud his patience, he waits a respectable 30 seconds before making a gumbo reference. When his efforts fail, it's left to Hodges, assisted by a scientist (Dee Wallace Stone) to pick up the pieces and take charge of the situation when the big reptile decides to take in the grand opening of the local amusement park.

From a nonsensical script to cheesy special effects that make the beast look like a pool toy, this film shows none of the cynical charm and sly wit that made Alligator partially enjoyable. It does have some schlock charm that has saved several of its brethren, but falls short with its horrible characters including the cookie-cutter villain played by Steve Railsback, who is so obvious that he might as well have a "BAD GUY" sign around his neck. Yet another addition to the "mutated animal attacks" sub-genre, which fans might enjoy.

Be sure to check out Alligator.

Alien Cargo
Alien Cargo

2.0 out of 5 stars Alien Cargo, Sept. 26 2002
This review is from: Alien Cargo (VHS Tape)
The crew of a transport spacecraft, whose route takes them between Titan and Mars, spends most of their trip in hibernation with only two crewmembers awake at any one time. It's not a fun job, but Chris (Jason London) and Theta (Missy Crider) manage to find a bit of excitement with an illicit affair that's against a strict company policy. Chris rigs the random draw that chooses shift mates so he and Theta can share a shift. When Chris and Theta awake for their stint, they find the ship is damaged, the previous shift's crew is missing, and they've been asleep far too long. In finding out what happened, they discover that they're also nearly out of fuel and life support and the previous crew brought aboard a mysterious piece of space debris. This debris is implicated in whatever happened to the ship. It becomes a race against time to save the remaining crew, while whatever happened to the missing crew begins to also affect Chris and then Theta.

To its credit, Alien Cargo's plot builds a fair bit of suspense and the acting of London and Crider is acceptable, even if nobody's going to win any awards for this effort. Most of the special effects look worse than what you'll find on a typical sci-fi television show, with the exception of the low gravity action, which does look pretty real. The ending at least partly makes up for the overall lack of excitement throughout the rest of the film. Alien Cargo also shares many, many similarities with Ridley Scott's Alien, in both plot and characters. You probably won't want to go out of your way to watch Alien Cargo, but it's enjoyable enough that a real sci-fi fan might find it worthwhile.

Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension! (Widescreen) [Import]
Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension! (Widescreen) [Import]
DVD ~ Peter Weller
Offered by The Digital Vault
Price: CDN$ 99.99
12 used & new from CDN$ 18.06

5.0 out of 5 stars The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, Sept. 26 2002
Buckaroo Banzai (Peter Weller) is a neurosurgeon, particle physicist, rock star, martial arts master, and government troubleshooter/secret agent who is the son of an American mother and Japanese father who were also scientists. Buckaroo travels with the Hong Kong Cavaliers, a band of lab assistants/back-up musicians who are also really snazzy dressers. Buckaroo's inter-dimensional experiments with his Oscillation Overthruster (when attached to his rocket car Buckaroo can drive through mountains by way of another dimension) throw him straight into the middle of an alien war, and before you know it, he has just a few hours to save the world. A race of aliens called the Red Lectroids have been waiting for such an item to become a reality, as they need it to return to the distant planet they call home (their arrival on Earth was covered by Orson Wells, but was later covered up by convincing everyone that the radio broadcast was a work of fiction called "The War of the Worlds"). One of Buckaroo's archenemies, Dr. Emilio Lizardo (John Lithgow), who has been possessed by the Red Lectroids when he attempted to create a similar device to the Oscillation Overthruster decades before, and has now escaped from an insane asylum, is back at work with the Lectroids on a plan to control the world. Throw in Rastafarian aliens, unscheduled travel between dimensions, and the odd inexplicable watermelon, and Penny Priddy (Ellen Barkin), the twin sister of Buckaroo's late wife, and you get a film that is pure enjoyment with its fast pace, quotable dialogue, and barrage of gags (the Red Lectroids' leader (Christopher Lloyd) has chosen the unfortunate name of John Bigboote, and no matter how many times he tells people that it is pronounced "Bigboo-té! Té!," everybody calls him Big-Booty).

Confused? Hang on, that was only the first 10 minutes of the movie. Don't worry though; you won't be bored even when you're not sure what's going on. Buckaroo Banzai hurls you right into the middle of its comic-book universe and keeps going at a breakneck pace. It's chock-full of overlapping jokes (even as we're trying to make sense of Dr. Lizardo's hospital room, a voice calmly announces that "lithium is no longer available on credit" over the PA system), hilarious throwaway dialogue ("You're like Jerry Lewis: you give me hope to carry on."), and weirdness just for the sheer joy of it ("Why is there a watermelon there?" "I'll tell you later."). You'll want to watch it at least twice--there's just no way to catch everything the first time around. Ellen Barkin has a terrific time doing a dead-on film noir parody as Penny Priddy, and John Lithgow turns in a brilliant manic performance as Dr. Lizardo/John Whorfin. "Laugh while you can, Monkey Boys!"

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