2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very Valuable Book., Nov. 12 2011
I have a strong willed child, which was evident the moment we brought her home from the hospital. My daughter is almost six now and for the first five years of her life we couldn't figure out how to make her listen and cooperate. We are very "soft" parents and don't believe in suppressing the child or parenting her like a mini version of ourselves. We truly respect her individuality and have always allowed her to express her opinions, participate in almost all discussions and family decisions.She has always picked her own clothes (we have no say in what she wears in the morning), chosen what to eat and where to go on vacation for her birthday. However, even with this parenting style we had issues. She basically ruled the family until we read this book. Here are two specific examples: (1) We were never able to go to a restaurant and have a nice peaceful time without our daughter running around, dropping her food on the floor, playing with food, bothering other people in the restaurant, screaming, and demanding constant attention. Every time we went out it was an ordeal. I followed the author's steps, explaining to her in detail what she is not allowed to do when we go out and what would happen is she didn't cooperate.I said we'd have to have our food packed and go home. The first time, she didn't believe we'd do that, but as soon as she got up and started running around we left the place. She was screaming,swearing, hitting, but we held our ground. When this happened again, we did the same thing. Now we can go out and have a great time as a family. No more yelling or begging on my part. When we talk about consequences, she knows we mean it! (2) Same thing with the computer. When she repeatedly hit the mouse on the table in frustration and hit the computer screen, I took the computer away for a week. I calmly explained to her why I had to put it away for a while. Now, she is very careful with it. This is a very practical book.The author does an excellent job explaining the reasons behind defiant behavior of strong willed kids. This book gave me a whole new perspective and an understanding that my child's goal is not to torture me, but rather send me a signal I need to be more clear on where the boundaries are and give better guidance.