Considering the obvious success Clive Cussler has had with his novels, I thought it was time I gave one a try (they're popular, they can't be that bad... wrong). With this in mind I thought I'd start at the beginning (which is really Pacific Vortex, as it was written before 'The Mediterranean Caper' - or 'Mayday!' as it's called in Australia - was published).

However, while I won't comment on the literary merits of Pacific Vortex (think an utterly dumbed down James Bond - and that's really dumb), it was supremely advanced over the stilted dialog and so-called machismo of the Mediterranean Caper. In fact, I wasn't even able to get past 35 pages of this truly awful example of writing.

And why is that, you ask?
Let's look at the following text taken from the book. To put you in the scene our 'hero' Dirk Pitt has gone down to the beach one early morning. While there a beautiful young woman stumbles across him. Naturally they talk and she reveals how her beloved husband was killed in a car crash eight and a half years previously:

<and let's now read the literary brilliance of Clive Cussler:>

'It's been eight and a half years now,' she replied in a whisper.
Pitt felt dazed. Then anger set in. What a waste, he thought. What a rotten waste for a beautiful woman like her to grieve over a dead man for nearly nine years. The more he thought about it the angrier he became. He could see tears welling in her eyes as she lost herself in the remembrance, and the sight sickened him. He reached over and gave her a hard backhand slap across the face.
Her eyes jerked wide, and her whole body tensed from the sharp blow. It was as if she was struck by a bullet. 'Why did you strike me?' she gasped.
'Because you needed it, needed it badly,' he snapped. 'That torch you carry around is as worn out as an overcoat. I'm surprised someone hasn't taken you over a knee and spanked it off. So your husband was dashing. So what? He's dead and buried, and mourning over him for all these years won't resurrect him from the grave. Lock away his memory somewhere and forget him. You're a beautiful woman - you don't belong chained to a coffin full of bones. You belong to every man who turns and admires you.' Pitt could see his words were penetrating her weak defences. 'Now you think about it. It's your life. Don't throw it away and play "Camille" until you're withered and grey.'
Her face was distraught in the morning sun, and her breath came in sobs. Pitt let her cry for a long time. When she finally raised her head and turned it towards him, he could see that her cheeks were streaked with tears, mixed with tiny grains of sand, clinging to the wetness. She looked up at him, and he caught the gleam in her eyes. They were soft and scared-looking, like a little girl's. He lifted her in his arms and kissed her. Her lips were warm and moist.
'When was the last time you had a man?' he whispered.
'Not since...' Her voice trailed away.
Pitt took her as the long shadows of the rocks crept upward over the beach, shielding their bodies from the sun.

<and thank you Clive>

'Why did you strike me?'
Personally, I can think of several other things I would've said in that situation, such as: 'Help', 'Police' and 'Rape'.

I can only hope that in the intervening 3 decades since those words were written that Clive's attitudes to women and what constitutes a 'hero' are a bit less pathetic. Here's a fragile woman who is physically and verbally attacked by our 'hero', whose eyes are then equated with looking 'soft and scared-looking, like a little girl's' (well, whatever gets you going Dirk). Naturally Dirk Pitt then has sex (I won't say she does, she's just - in my mind - been raped) and she's ever so grateful and invites him back to meet her family, etc. etc.

When I read that section I honestly thought, no, I must've missed something. There's no way that just happened.

At that precise moment I found I could not read on.

What sort of hero is this? Is this how a 'man's-man' is meant to behave? Is this, as other reviewers have said of this book, 'fun'?

I mean, was this sort of garbage ever seen as okay, even in the early 1970's? I can understand a writer having their hero as a clichéd 'man' that all other men envy, etc, but what Dirk Pitt does in that scene is not something any 'man' or 'hero' would do.
Sorry, Clive, because of that one scene I won't be reading any more of your books. I've already wasted my money on this one and the ridiculously plotted Pacific Vortex. I've already been burnt twice.

There's too many good adventure stories out there, with much better writing and plot, and with character's that aren't throwbacks to some outdated era for anyone to be bothered with this infantile slush.

Martin Chuzzlewit is full of those wonderful characters that Dickens excels at writing. His characters, both the odious and the virtuous, literally seep into your consciousness and feel like people you know (in fact, people you are certain you've met). With Martin Chuzzlewit, Dickens gives us some truly awful examples of humanity and the all too common selfishness and false piety that so many demonstrate in their daily lives.

We stand beside the poor, woefully abused Tom Pinch and cheer at his every minor victory, and watch the machinations of Mr Pecksniff and his daughters, Charity and Mercy, with despair. In fact, every character feels like a true individual with a complete life of his or her own. Dickens succeeds brilliantly at making his characters come to life.

It is, indeed, these characters, far more than the overall plot, which makes this a wonderful read. We are drawn, literally, into their lives and we actually feel an emotional connection with them. That while some are caricatures of 'good and bad', they are so fully realised, it makes little difference.

This is not to say the entire novel works - as with much writing of this period, the style might frustrate modern readers who are used to straightforward writing that 'cuts to the chase' - Dickens certainly liked the written word and he uses it liberally, as an artist might cover a canvas with thick, colourful paint.

Martin Chuzzlewit is a novel you don't (and shouldn't) sit down to all at once. It's something to be savoured and enjoyed over time (as the original readers would have done, anxiously waiting for each chapter to be printed). This world is simply too detailed to skim through.

If you're an American, you might question the inclusion of the American section. While it ultimately brings about a characters transformation, its sarcastic, and at times scathing, humour of 1800's Americans is undoubtedly too much for some in the mainstream American audience. It's a pity that more people don't seem to have a great sense-of-humour about themselves - probably one reason this wonderful book has never enjoyed the success of other Dickens classics in the US (though it's still very popular). My suggestion (rather than another reviewer who shamefully said to just skip the US bit) is to simply look at this new world through an outsiders eyes (remember that this was 100 years ago) and understand they won't always see things with rose-coloured glasses - and lets admit it, nowhere is perfect. Just remember, for all of Dickens' criticism of the US, it is tame compared to his observations of life in England; unfortunately some Americans seem to forget that.

So, if you're looking for a wonderfully funny story of how truly good people are tormented by those who feign to be good, you will thoroughly enjoy this book. Just waiting for everyone's comeuppance is worth it. Once you get into it, you won't want to finish.

I'll have to comment on this book as it's printed in Australia - one loooong book containing both the Emergence / Expansion books (in fact all 6 books are printed in only 3 books - each about 1200 pages long).

A much more cost effective way to buy them by the way....

First up, this is a very good book that is worth trying, but it won't change your life - you aren't going to be confronted with overwhelming ideas and concepts, multi-levelled character development or even anything terribly original. The book, ultimately, is only about one group attempting to dominate another with all of the flaws/prejudices/nobility, etc of humanity thrown in then placed in a futuristic setting.

However, The Reality Dysfunction is, in the end, an engaging book, one obviously written as a long and sweeping saga, ultimately taking in 3 books (or six if you're from the US of A) - therefore, some bizarre comments by readers saying the book ended with too many loose ends comes out as just ridiculous. If you want short, fast-paced plots that skim over techno-babble and character building (although some characters here are clichéd and many are given far too much description for what turns out to be only a brief appearance), you'll probably find this somewhat boring. However, if you're happy to sit back and flow with it you'll find it a rewarding experience - just don't expect quick answers, there won't be any.

Your enjoyment of this book relies solely on how much depth you want/require in your characters, your story and ultimately in the world you're about to enter for days of reading. There are times you feel part of this universe. Yet there are also times you feel manipulated solely to progress the story; hence many clichés do crop up - the benevolent aliens, the genius-like, young, sex-obsessed captain, the women in power who seem ultimately guided by their feelings for the men (I know I shouldn't but I just can't stop thinking about him), and then there's the bad guys. Evil is a one-shaded character here. It is only the 'good guys' that you often wonder about. Too many times when we're back with the bad guys we know something bad (and usually somewhat gruesome) is going to happen - you often wonder what these people do in-between being evil; nothing obviously. Being evil must be a 24/7 job. Then there's the 'red shirt' cliché. Pretty much any time a 'marine' is in the picture you just know they're going to die a pointless death just to demonstrate how powerful the 'sequestered' people are (an original Star Trek syndrome here - you know the guys wearing the red shirts are going to die). And naturally the good guys are stumbling around wondering (ignoring) what's going on and being (typically) self-absorbed in their own lives; results of which can often be frustrating to the reader, especially when the same issue is brought up several times by different groups. Some judicious editing could have been good.

But I look at it this way, it's a long book, you're not going to like everything. Overall though, the majority does hold your attention and truly makes you want to read on.

Whether you are satisfied with what the 'reality dysfunction' turns out to be is a personal issue. I wasn't - and fully admit it took me some time to continue. From the behaviour of the original 'sequestered' people to what happens with them later simply came across to me as weak (just consider the behaviour of the sequestered people in the start to how mushy and good-feely some turn out by the end). We're presented with what appears to be a true evil, something we can't comprehend, something whose only goal is total domination - and we end up with mere shades of ourselves. Again, one group trying to dominate another.

The Reality Dysfunction deserves 10 out of 10 for effort; it truly has the grand sweep of classic space opera with the overriding intelligence to set it apart. However, it needed more editing to quicken the pace (you really don't need an entire page on someone's history when they never appear again), and it needed to drop a few of its many clichés.

In the end though, if it's good SF you enjoy, then this book will be hard to beat. Just give it the time it deserves and try not to get frustrated over how long it takes to resolve issues - good things come to those who wait (oops, a cliché).

Perhaps a fishing metaphor is an apt one - imagine struggling with what you hope will be a large fish worthy of preserving and placing on a wall, only to be bitterly disappointed when you 'land' an old, rotted boot.

For anyone foolish enough to buy and read this 'novel' (even the title 'Meg' is surprisingly powerless and unimaginative, it only made me think of abbreviating the girl's name, Megan - certainly nothing to inspire fear), they will quickly realise they have caught the boot.

It seems obvious that Meg was written as nothing more than a hopeful 'brainless blockbuster' movie (one thankfully and obviously dropped - as can be seen by Steve Alten's official web site where he is practically begging people to tell others what a great movie Meg would make).

Everything about this (incomprehensibly) published book is unforgivably amateur - and we can only wonder how bad this was before it was edited (and if an editor ever deserved to lose their job over bad work, this was it). This book quickly reveals itself to be nothing more than a pastiche of ineptly written action sequences with piled on melodrama, unrealistic motivations and shameful plot contrivances; all packaged together with bad writing and a disappointing lack of intelligence. Even a basic creative writing class will discourage the use of exclamation points and excessive use of verbs - one example is when the 'author' describes a 'dramatic scene' involving lightening, i.e., rather than describe what happens he simply repeats the word 'Flash!' to indicate a lightening strike.

While Meg will undoubtedly appeal to 13 year olds who have not read enough to see how excruciatingly bad this is; and who regrettably mistake 'action, gore and simplistic writing' for plot, drama and intelligence (or even the simple ability to write a decent sentence); there is nothing in this truly appalling book to appeal to anyone else.

There is simply too much that is implausible, with too many areas of possibility that are wasted, to make Meg even passible. For instance, why does this book have such a farcical plot and storyline? Especially when the concept of a giant, once thought extinct shark being found alive again, has amazing potential (look at how the world reacted with the discovery of the Coelacanth) - but no, we'll make it a simple brain-dead, big monster eating people story. Is there something wrong with writing an intelligent 'horror' story? Stephen King seems to do it all the time. Why is Meg crammed full of unbelievable cardboard characters - all with one-tone motivations and feelings? All instances with our protagonist Jonas' wife are truly shocking examples of bad writing and character development/motivation. Behaviour so 'telegraphed' and set-up, it made me cringe. Why are there so many scientific and factual errors (here's just one: why, after MILLIONS of years does the Megalodon only turn a glowing white, when it evolves in no other way? Surely it would have reduced in size owing to the scarcity of food - Steve Alten seems to continuously forget just how large this animal is and how much food it would have to eat - it would not have stayed that size without its original, and very large, food source to maintain it)?

The worst thing is, is that people will actually argue that 'facts' are irrelevant to a 'good action story' - so stop being 'pretentious' and an 'intellectual snob' and just sit back and enjoy it - it's not meant to be a textbook; stop knit-picking over everything.

All I can say to that is, why sell yourself so short? Why accept mediocrity? There is no reason we can't have a good action story that isn't so stupid and lame that a diseased baboon could've tapped it out in an afternoon. I for one want and expect more.

Even worse, Meg has perhaps the most truly stupid ending ever written. An ending that makes you truly embarrassed for the author, the editors, publishers and, even worse, yourself, for having read it.

Is it right to fervently wish the shark would kill everyone and live a full and happy life? I'm sure that wasn't Steve Alten's intention, but...

Ultimately this is less a novel than a movie treatment or comic book. It is the worst sort of literature - something written and published for money and, sadly, little else.

Do not buy this book.