Michael is COOL, But Cliff is DA MAN!, Jul 8 2004

At fourteen, I went to see this movie at least twice at the theater. Remember, in those primitive days there was nowhere to rent a movie and most films played only a week or two with very little advance hype. If you were lucky, they might hit the drive-in as a double feature with some questionably linked movie. So there was little to give you any idea if a show was your cup of tea beyond the lobby poster. When you think about it, things were kind of lame and idyllic at the same time. Overall, it was the STAR that was relied on to sell the film. Having Michael Caine sold me on the movie. His cockney character, Hearne made a great anti-hero. The story has a weird twist to it with the "wired" jungle and the Japanese are ruthless, but not caricatures. Another unusual situation is the 1000 or so yards of no-mans-land they have to cross as walking targets out of the base and back into it. At this age, I was mostly interested in whether Hearne/Caine was an irredeemable cad or realist rising to the occasion. The ending left me uncertain and somewhat empty. However, since Michael Caine was sooo cool, I went back to see it at least once again before it shuffled off to 35mm purgatory.

Living in the future now, who would have foreseen that we could buy the friggin' movie and BS about it to the whole livin' world?
Now, as I have watched the movie again in the 21st century, via home theater, DVD, remote control, my own microwave popcorn, and beer fridge I HAVE SEEN SO MUCH MORE. From the grinding down a man endures through the decades, I appreciate each of Cliff Robertson's looks as the SNAFU sets in on him. Just to see the situation register on his face from the time his mission is first explained to him to the bitter end is worth TEN Sean Penn tirades. Cliff, you are a mighty actor! When Robertson/Lawson finally takes over the team-after that nail-biting faceoff with the doomed Hornsby-you see that he is the title character and that combat is all about bloody damn survival. Even the nihilist Hearne is impressed. Aldrich probably owes the stature of this film to the terrific work of his two stars. At near fifty, I still think Mr. Caine is cool, but Cliff Robertson transcends acting here and makes like it's the real f'n deal. The "Patton Syndrome" applies here: if you don't like war movies, you'll like this one; and if you love war movies (especially WWII) what are you waiting for pukebag?! Buy this movie!

And now a spoiler...so don't read if you haven't seen TLTH: It would seem that Lawson does not survive the final deathrun, but pay close attention. Hearne makes it back to safety while Lawson has fallen. After catching his breath and praising his comrade to high heaven, he starts back after him. This is the final shot.
OK, I know we're supposed to assume Lawson is dead, but is he? Just because a man goes down doesn't mean he's mortally wounded. Maybe, just maybe Hearne finds him still breathing. Hey, a guy can hope can't he?

Scold Manhood, Jul 5 2004

For its benefit, Nicole Kidman turns in a fine performance. She makes you wish the story was better. Renee Zellweger has gotten raves for her character, but I kept being reminded of Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm all grown up. I like her and Jude Law but I wouldn't recommend this film in regard to them. Jude gets plenty of screentime but his character is so restrained, you hardly get to know him. And that brings me to the foul, tainted meat of this grandscale meal.

Cold Mountain is visciously anti-male. It makes a point of how stupid men are that they go to war and then conveniently side-steps the slavery issue or as the South saw it, a fight for independence. So is it saying that enslavement is better than fighting for freedom? In this way it actually reduces the women characters as incapable of seeing the Big Picture beyond home and hearth. The scene with Natalie Portman at first seems a refreshing avoidance of the politically correct "Yankees/good guys, Rebs/bad guys" of the last few decades, but when placed in the entire context of the movie becomes more of its latent theme: Men are Stupid, Bad, and Only Needed for Continuing the Species. So killing Yankees, since they are men, is no big deal. The tiresome and overworked Hollywood plot device of "man sleep with woman, then he die" (As I noted with "The Missing") is embraced at the end to my total disappointment because it was so obvious it was going to happen. When Jude and Nicole decide to "marry", I knew it was his last cigarette before the firing squad. All the hell and high water he'd gone through and any hope for an original ending was for nothing.

It would be interesting to watch the film over just for the body count, because it seems virtually ALL the men die! Just think about it and add up the bodies. By the end, it seems the only men left in the county are Renee's father and husband. And consider them: the father has bowed to his daughter's expectations of him, and the husband is docile to his wife. In the final scene he is even serving her at the table. As a last dig at the futility of masculinity, both the offsprings of Nicole and Renee favor the mother's appearance.

Certainly, Cold Mountain is a beautiful film to watch. But the ideas within its plot are disturbing. It is at its worst when the women, such as Renee, rant against the stupidity of men and war, as if the women, simply because they don't participate in any bayonet charges, are guiltless. Look into the history of the Civil War and you'll find the upper-class women urged their men to fight to protect their lavish antebellum lifestyle. It is at its best in brief scenes such as the goat woman interlude. That was poignant and extraordinary. So I don't discount the movie entirely, but its inherent theme against men distracts me so much, I probably won't watch it again.

Mulholland...FALLS--Oh, NOW I get it!, Jun 29 2004

Now for the bad stuff. The film tries for atmosphere, but only occasionally succeeds. The shot out at the A-bomb crater is impressive, but on the whole, the movie spends too long doing too little. Of the cast, only Nolte is given enough meat to excel. This is a strong cast, but with the exception of Nolte, they have little to do. Melanie Griffith looks fresh off collagen injections to enlarge her upper lip, sadly ruining her beautiful face. Lord help me, but I kept expecting her to go "quack!" Why is it some gorgeous women keep obsessing about their bodies-tattooes, piercing, injections, etc.? They are like masterpieces that continue to have work done to them and hence ruin their natural beauty (ahem, end soliloquy). And miscasting reaches new heights with uber-quirky John Malkovich as an Army General! Apparently they offered him the part in the B&W porno flick and he was theirs for whatever role nobody else wanted.

Well, I don't want to give away the ending, but for me , the whole movie FELL FLAT. My interest PLUMMETED in the climactic scene. So don't feel you should DROP EVERYTHING to go out and rent this movie.

Good Ol' Coop and his Swamp Fox, Jun 27 2004

After attacking and destroying the Seminole Indians arms cache (Florida circa 1840) most of the movie concerns the small band of soldiers led by Cooper being chased through the Everglades by some seriously fearsome Seminoles. In a way, it's a chase movie, and the retreating group is in a situation of convincing danger. Therein lies the heroic nature of a Gary Cooper character in his adventure films: he is a formidable opponent, but he can be killed. He is not the superhuman as Clint Eastwood often is, or even John Wayne. You get the feeling that he may not make it to the end of the movie. However, he is the kind of man you would put your faith in and follow just about anywhere. Coop seems to be enjoying himself in the film and looks like he's doing many of his own stunts. The climactic and imaginative underwater knife duel is well done and caps the tension of the story. I have to admit, the movie started a bit slow for me, but I continued watching and was pleasantly rewarded. For a younger Gary Cooper, and more violent film, I would recommend The Real Glory, but this is a harder to find movie than Distant Drum. One bit of criticism is, as usual, with the quality of the print. It's not terrible, but it is faded somewhat. I give it four stars because of the action and suspense, Cooper's lively performance, and Miss Aldon is HOT!

Ian Fleming shaken, not stirred, Jun 18 2004

Let me just say this: from the opening credits I was transported to a wonderland of excitement and delight. The music, the villain, the fights, the women, and especially George Lazenby made it a great, great, great Bond movie. To this day, I regard it as possibly the film I have enjoyed more than any other I have seen. Briefly, let me dissect what made it such a great 007 film:

1.The Villain-Telly Savalas should have been Blofeld many more times. He is menacing and a good physical opponent for Bond. Savalas was doing many villains at this time in his career (Dirty Dozen, etc.) mainly because he was so good at it. Telly's Blofeld is very true to Ian Fleming. Along with Robert Shaw and Gert Frobe, I rate him among the best of the Bond villains.

2. The fights-the editing is outstanding, creating fast, violent brawls. Lazenby is quite formidable and believably dangerous-the way Bond should be and hasn't been since. The best Bond fight scene that stands alone is certainly with Oddjob, but the numerous fights in OHMSS are the most realistic and violent.

3.The Women-Diana Rigg (need we say more)-a real actress and the fantasy of every pubescent boy watching The Avengers. Also plenty of eye-candy in the chalet of Blofeld. And throw in Frau Bunt who seems resurrected in the Austin Power movies-she's a pure Fleming character: an evil sexless matron.

4.The music-definitely high-style John Barry. It is a departure from his earlier Connery films and very original. It's just great adventure music and the main title is damn dangerous to be listening to when driving your car. For fun, my kids and I have synchronized it to driving the mountain route in Sega Gt 2002-it's the perfect soundtrack. As an Album alone OHMSS is a proud possesion in my record collection.

5.Finally, (and ladies and gentlemen, I could go on and on about this) dear Mr. Lazenby. How anyone could be at the top, with the highest profile movie persona in the world, and then drop to almost total obscurity is lamentable to the most Shakespearean proportions. George was so young (stil in his twenties!) during OHMSS, he could have been Bond into the mid-nineties. I saw him playing a Bond-like character in some cheap John Stamos movie and he was still exciting to watch-too bad Stamos was the star. Bond must provoke intrigue, sophistication, sex, and violence. George Lazenby had it all. To you, Mr. Lazenby, wherever you are, I lift my glass in a toast to your James Bond of OHMSS.

I promised to be brief and so I end with so much unsaid about this terrific movie. New Year's Eve 1969 was an unforgettable movie experience. How many films can you remember the exact date you first saw them?