How unique every situation is. Yet how amazingly SIMILAR.
For years you lavish time, love, effort and money on your alcoholic. Around the time you realize they are truly killing themselves, you may also notice the situation is killing you.
Alanon was a waste of time except for hearing the horror stories of people who had spent whole lives living daily tragedies. This book was the wake-up call I needed. It paints no pretty pictures. It looks at the situation realistically. In fact, it is comforting in it's honesty.
You may stay. You may learn to detach with love. Or you may leave -- hoping they will change before it's too late for your relationship. That's what I did. I left, hopoing he'd seek help. (He didn't.) But I saved myself. And I am so much happier now.
Read this book. At least you will have an honest assessment of your situation as others have lived it. If nothing, it will give you a clearer picture of the issues and help you deal with it -- if continuing to deal with it is what you choose to do.