This is a gem of a film. What appears to be a 'little' film packs quite a lot of comedy in a charming look at a wee Scottish village and the crafty American sent by a multi-national to buy them out.

The soundtrack's a stunner, written by Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits.

This may be a little explicit...

This film is a great, but odd piece of French 70s sleaze-horror, from the maker of "Dr.Jekyll and his Women", and "Immoral Tales."

It starts off in a castle where two horses are coupling. Once you've got over that (guys, don't feel inadequate; girls, don't go there!). A woman arrives to catch the tail end of this scene. She's come to marry. But the castle's family have a curse.

She visits the curse in a dream where at first we see a 1700s rural scene, and a woman chased by a bear like creature that's got a very big, hard knob, with a very painful looking buldge on the end (how on earth it's going to fit in her?!)

Then we go to more modern times where another woman, in another dream is chased by the monster. She gets it off with her feet before kissing it.

I hope I've not offended anyone by this description. If I have, don't buy the film. Though the reverse may not be true.

The beginning of this film sees Asia Argento address her audience, saying that after watching this film you might learn more about her, then again, maybe you won't. There's no meaning to her statement.

That sums up this film! A series of pointless episodes in the life of an actress (supposed to be a semi-autobigraphical account). She rolls from one episode to another, taking drugs, masturbating, driving to northern Italy, taking more drugs, being on a photo shoot and taking drugs, fondling another woman (who just comes up to her door (Asia can't remember her). The woman fondles her for a while, saying she's got a taxi waiting to take her to the airport, but she's got plenty of time for a quickie, but then they just kiss for about 30seconds before the woman departs. Asia's left still wondering who she was!)

Asia travels around by car, aeroplane, and train, has a few more photo shoots, takes more drugs. Has lots of hallucinations about aborted/unborn children, and past lovers.

Does this sound self-indulgent? Yes, because it is. Asia obviously thinks her life is so interesting, that she is so great, you'd want to see what a mess she's made of it. What a self-centred/self-important piece this film is(If I can use some Australian slang... she's up herself!)

Nobody buys a Jean Rollin film for the plot. Sit back and be boggled by visual delights, or disturbed by them.

This film is set in two parts and begins with four sisters who believe themselves to be vampires, and some ends up being one.

I can't explain much because, I have to admit, I didn't understand much of this film. But it looks good.

This DVD special edition is packed with extas, interviews, a few deleted scenes and a short history of computer animation, but then you really want to know about the film don't you?

Basically a guy gets sucked into a computer and is forced to play computer games to survive - yeah, my review ...! This is actually quite a good film.

Are you paranoid about computers taking over the world? If so, don't watch this as you'll get too many goofy ideas.

This is a weak Australian horror about a man (Patrick) who has some telekenetic powers after he is put in a coma. Whilst in a coma he lets havoc reign in his hospital.

There is not much more to say about this film.

This has one really interesting scene, when the character becomes possessed - the little ceremony she performs, including licking a goat's arse is strange (well, how else would you term it?). For this alone, it rated 2 stars from me.

This is an Italian Excorcist rip-off. It has some interesting moments, but otherwise is really dull (unless you like seeing the woman vomiting green - but you've probably already seen that in the Excorcist).

The ceremony mentioned above is done in a half-dreamlike state where the character is in bed, & has dreams/visions of being initiated in a forest, so that when in the forest, a goat-masked Satanist has sex with her, she opens her legs in bed, the bed is indented as if an invisible lover is on it with her, and she seems to feel what is going on in the forest... strange, strange, strange!

What a load of rot! The main vampire in this is supposed to be a French crusader who sold his soul. He roams around the deserts of South West USA, in the car's boot! (he's driven by a Renfield-type character)

Firstly; if he's been around so long, you'd think that he'd have saved up money to at least buy a decent car. (Or at least a house)

Secondly; if you're a vampire, and sun-light being your major concern, why live in the desert? Why not have a house where you can at least move about in day-light hours (remember - this guy spends half his time in a car-boot!)

The rest of this film offers even more stupid scenarios.

I tend to rate a vampire film on what I call "Bite Scenes" (like the money-shot), a vampire film should have at least one good scene where the vampire feeds on a victim (unlike some American films such as Cold Hearts, where the vampire drags the victim out of site, & turns up later with blood-smeared mouth). Vamp has a great 'bite scene'. Grace Jones plays a very powerul, agressive female vampire who completely dominates her prey. For this one scene alone, I've given the film 4 stars.

Unfortunately, the rest of the film is appalling. There's too much of this that doesn't make sense. Why do the vampires sleep amongst drums of petrol? Chris Makepeace uses these to set the vampires alight. Obviously a good idea would have been for the vampires to settle down for the night in a more secure place.

Billy Drago has a small part as an albaino nutcase, but he's sort of a side-story who is inserted in this film for no real reason.

Too much of this film doesn't make sense.

Make of this what you will...

This film is about a man who leaves his home planet, comes to Earth to make a lot of money to build a spaceship in order to return to his homeplanet & help his family (in what way I'm not exactly sure). His homeworld is devoid of water.

This spaceman gets sick if he travels too fast in a car, or a lift (elevator), and also his mere prescence seems to make a lot of people horny.

Does this make sense? I'm not sure. But it's an interesting film.