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Silently Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest
 
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Silently Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest [Paperback]

Kenneth M. Adams (Author)
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)

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Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated: When Parents Make Their Children Partners Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated: When Parents Make Their Children Partners
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Did you have a parent whose love for you felt more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more instrusive than nurturing? Did you feel trapped in a "psychological marriage" with this parent? If so, you may be a victim of covert incest. Identification of this kind of incest is difficult, since covert incest victimrs often feel idealized and privileged, not violated and abused. In Silently Seduced, Dr. Adams, through illustrative case examples and perceptive insight, provides covert incest victims a framework to understand what happened to them, how their lives and relationships continue to be affected and how to begin the process of recovery.

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When a parent's love for a child is more expecting than giving, more jealous than trusting, the child can become trapped in a "psychological marriage" with the parent, becoming a victim of covert incest. Identification of this problem is often difficult, for the victim often feels idealized and privileged rather than abused. Dr. Adams provides a framework for beginning a process of recovery.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Landmark Book, Jun 7 2004
This review is from: Silently Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest (Paperback)
This was one of the first books ever written about covert incest. Despite only being a little over hundred pages long, it serves as a good introduction to the subject. Ken Adams covers everything from mother-son and father-daughter covert incest to sexual addiction and relationship issues. A must read for covert incest survivors.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Finally! A relief to understand!, Jan 5 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Silently Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest (Paperback)
The author describes in detail what kind of actions from a parent can create an inappropriate dependency from a child, the resulting feelings that can stay with the child and the patterns of behavior through adulthood that follow. Subtle things that might seem innocent in a parent's mind can actually cross a line into inappropriate territory with a child and his/her development. The child may feel "icky," but also privileged to have such special attention from the parent.

The author offers advice for recovery and gives very clear statements about what must happen in order for the adult survivor of covert incest to make healthy changes and free him/herself from binding dependencies.

I purchased this book based on a recommendation on a message board. Wow! I am filled with relief to suddenly realize why I feel this way and why there are these inexplicable patterns in my life. The biggest relief of all is to know I'm not alone and that my odd feelings about my parents are not unjustified. I read it and said, "Finally! Now I know what is wrong!"

If you feel guilty about setting limits on your parents, this book is for you. If you are having difficulty connecting with your spouse and find yourself connecting more with your kids, please read this book.

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Illuminating the Roller-Coaster Relationship, Aug 21 2002
By A Customer
This review is from: Silently Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest (Paperback)
I was blown away by the down-to-earth descriptions of "psychological marriage" with a parent, how it develops and how it affects future romantic relationships. I was comforted to be able to understand, yet challenged to take action. It explained all of my recent relationship dilemnas with my partner so much that I felt it was written about us. I was comforted to realize that there were real reasons for our problems and yet, I feel scared to open up this topic for discussion between us. My partner has limited insight. Thank you for helping me see that I am not imagining things or going crazy!
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