Lead Cenobite

I stopped writing long (1000 word) movie reviews. Now I only do movie reviews for the Listmania lists, which have 25 movie reviews on each list - and each of these reviews are only a few sentences long. My Listmania lists are ONLY on my Amazon.ca profile.

Anyway, this is my rating system:

1 star:
I found every moment of the movie unbearable. Absolute crap. I hated it.
Eg: Spawn, Very Bad Things, Robocop 3

2 stars:
I disliked the movie, but it does have a few parts that are worth seeing. Watch it once, then never watch it again.
Eg: The Muse, Death to Smoochy, Analyze This

3 stars:
Not bad, but not worth buying unless it's cheap. Otherwise, just rent it (or better yet, watch it on TV) every few years or so.
Eg: Wall Street, Pineapple Express, We Were Soldiers

4 stars:
I really liked it, but it had some boring parts and/or some stupid parts that shouldn't have been in the movie - or it's badly dated. Even though there's some small flaw to every four star movie, it's still worth buying though.
Eg: Hamburger Hill (which had some boring parts), Superman II (which is badly dated), Robocop 2, and a bunch of the Star Trek movies

5 stars:
I loved every second of it.
Eg: The Deer Hunter, Predator, To Dance With the White Dog, The Krays, Blade Runner, Robocop, Spider-Man 1 & 2, and Apocalypse Now

My ratings depend on how much I enjoy it. My Left Foot is critically acclaimed by pretty much everyone, but I only give it two stars just because I'm not a fan of that movie (it's boring as hell) but I admit that it has good acting, directing and all that, so I didn't give it one star. On the other hand, Hellraiser 2 was critically panned by pretty much everyone, and it's a lousy movie in terms of quality, but I enjoyed it so much that I gave it four stars. So I know the difference between a "well-made" movie, and one that isn't. Sometimes I enjoy crappy movies.

I noticed that my old rating system was a bit inconsistent. So I made some adjustments to it. The rating works the same for books - if I enjoy it from cover to cover, then it's five stars, and so on. If I enjoy every song on a CD I'll give it five stars - so I won't be giving too many CDs a five star rating, because pretty much every CD has some songs on it I hate. I'll rate a season of a TV show more harshly than a movie, just because a season is a lot longer than a movie. If I enjoy every episode of a season, it'll get 5 stars. Eg: Season 5 of La Femme Nikita.

I love to make fun of movies I hate. With movies I love, I've usually seen the movie many times. And I don't always have a clear idea of why a film is 'well-made'. Ask me why it's 'well-made' and sometimes all I'll be able to give you is a vague explanation. Knowing if something is well-made or not is just one of those things I know, even if I don't always know why. So I'm not a good critic - but if your tastes are similar to my own, I think you'll find my rating system helpful.

My Listmania lists are NEVER ranked in any particular order. There are 4 main categories for my film lists:

Movies for the Heart of Darkness
These lists compile 'dark' movies. These are 4 or 5 star movies, unless otherwise noted. Murder, despair, revenge, suicide, war, and torture are the main elements in the movies on these lists. Horror movies are no longer included on these lists.

A Symphony of Horrors
These lists compile horror movies. These are 4 or 5 star movies, unless otherwise noted.

The Worst of the Worst
These lists compile one star movies, unless otherwise noted.

NOT Your Typical Braindead Action Flicks
These lists compile action movies. These are 4 or 5 star movies, unless otherwise noted.