Customer Reviews

Depression Fallout: The Impact of Depression on Couples and What You Can Do to Preserve the Bond

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My husband got depression completely out of the blue a couple of years ago. He is 28 and we have been together for 7 years. Although I knew he 'had depression' it wasnt until reading this book that I really understood just how much of my husband's life and personality was affected by the disease. Reading this book helped me realise when it was the depression talking and how my husband was thinking. At the time, my husband had got into the routine of telling me I should leave him becasue he was worthless etc. It was breaking my heart. I was relieved and shocked to read about this exact scenario in Depression Fallout. Anne Sheffield has wriiten a remarkable book that will help the non-depressed spouse to understand what depression is doing, how not to take things so personally and how to communicate with the depressed partner in order to bring about change. It doesnt give false hope and isnt all doom and gloom either. This book really changed my life and has helped me to help my husband as well as myself. He is now well on the way to recovery and I really feel that this is in part due to my renewed understanding of his condition.

Anne's books have been so helpful to me. I wish I had found them years ago. This book in particular is so important because it addresses the dynamics of the relationship between couples. It gives wonderful advice about how to help your loved one cope with the illness, as well as how to help yourself. It is honest, heartfelt, supportive and very realistic. If you are married or in a committed relationship with someone who is depressed (or even if you THINK they are), GET THIS BOOK!

I am reviewing this book:this is a final,revised review:I have found that yes,it has helped me so much. Anne's sensitively and compassionate book,have a lot to say on the subject of depression fallout. I am writing this review,in order to correct some rather hasty and poor judgements of both Anne,and members (including Lisa) of the board,"Depression Fallout". I ask forgiveness for my harsh words. Being not only a diabetic,a depression fallout sufferer who has suffered unending pain and trauma,over 15 years (since my father's death) along with extreme bereavement trauma. My only constructive critique of Anne's book:has to do with this aspect of depression fallout:my situation is different from others. Living with my mother,(crippled by not merely depression,but arthritus,and extreme bereavement trauma) I have to try to live with and through my own depression,plus my depression fallout-the board has been there for me,and I am truly thankful. If in her future books,the aspect of depression fallout,along with family ill health,being the son and brother of depressives,along with bereavement trauma which affects this even more/worse,if this subject were to be discussed,it might help those like myself,who are living through fire. I hope that when this final and newly revised review appears,that it will help people. Thank you,Anne,and Thank You:Goldenheart. Marc Bernstein.

Anne Sheffield has once again proven she's an expert in the field of depression and the impact on those living within its' clutches. Based on the website developed from her first book, How You Can Survive When They Are Depressed, this book describes the real-life trials and tribulations families suffer through. It offers practical ideas to cope and find happiness when relationships are strained by various manifestations of depression. She has pieced together stories and advice from the website, thus creating a masterpiece that offers hope and optimism. It's an excellent resource for anyone living with a depressed family member.

This book was a God send for me. For years, I had no idea what was wrong with me or why I was so miserable. I knew my husband was bipolar and/or depressed, but I had no idea what impact that had on my family or myself until I read her book. She described my life and what I was feeling perfectly. When I read her book I realized I was not alone, and that fallout has affected a lot of people all over this world. Like an addiction (drug, alcohol, gambling, etc), Depression is truly a family problem and can destroy it as well. If you are dealing with someone who has depression and it's affecting you, I strongly suggest you read this book. It won't fix your problems, but it will give you the tools & knowledge you need to turn your life around, and rebuild yourself (get back your self esteem, setting boundaries, being happy again, etc).

Having read the book, I was immensly relieved to find that what I had been living through was not an isolated case. Annes book described so many aspects of my life perfectly and helped me realize that I was not alone in this. It is wonderfully written and organized, very easy to follow and understand. I believe it is a "must read" for anyone living with a depressed partner.
Thank You Anne.

I have re-read Anne's book many times,my mother,and my sister all have been helped by it. But,I find it lacking in one regard: how about the sons/brothers of depressives who have to live with them,can't leave,feel they are needed by their families,for morale support,etc..I am a living example of this. I used to post on the depression fallout board,Goldenheart's advice helped me,as did Anne's,Mollestad's,Linda's (from South Africa) many others. Only one unsympathetic poster:Lisa Lonewolf. Then,there have been the arguments and nasty exchanges on the board,foul language,by SAD,and fake or questionable posts trying (as Lisa's was to me) other posters on the board. Keith was an offender,the fake "Joel" was another. This turned me off,so I left the board,feeling that I no longer belonged. Anne,Grey Owl,Goldenheart,if you read this,I'm a real person,I have done my best in a situation where I am unable (lack of free will) to leave my mother. I have my own life,I make the most of everything. Anne:your books are valuable,but I would like to see more input from posters such as myself,who are sons/brothers of depressed mothers and sisters,and have to stay,can not leave. There is a fine line of balance here,I do my best. Again,sorry if I offended Lisa Lonewolf,Anne,Goldenheart,SAD,etc..I felt unwanted. Anyone from depression fallout board reading this review,you are welcome to e-mail me,or post concerning me on depression fallout. Marc Bernstein.

This book was an eye opener for me. My spouse was dealing with depression, I was dealing with the fallout, and thought I was the only person in the world having this experience. It never occurred to me that I was experiencing what many others were also going through. It never occurred to me that depression could take its toll on the entire family, not just the depressed. I stumbled onto "Depression Fallout" website purely by chance, and after reading the information there and reading so many of the posts on the Message Board I knew I'd found the support I needed. Once I started reading the book, I could not put it down. Anne described my emotions and situation to a T. Everything I felt and thought while going through this experience was recounted in her book and I felt as if she were telling my particular story. Ms. Sheffield was able to capture the true effects of depression from her own experiences and from the experiences of other fallout sufferers. She gave me tools and strategies to use while coping with my depressed spouse, and laid it out in plain-spoken format.This is a MUST read for anyone living with a depressed partner, and even for those with depressed persons in their family.

I can't say enough about this book, other than if you are dealing with someone suffering from depression - BUY THIS BOOK NOW!

By reading this book, I was provided with great support as it gives real life examples of sufferers of depression fallout (which are the individuals dealing with a depressed person). Also, I found that I got a great understanding of what the depressed persons thoughts are - from real life examples from a depressed person. I actually gasped when I read one page, as it described what one depressed person thoughts were that were similar to what my depressed boyfriend tried to convey to me. Unfortunately, his words weren't as clear and concise as it was written in the book.

So many books out there describe depression as it relates to the depressed person, but doesn't really focus on individuals dealing with the depressed person. This book does just that and provides great support for anyone "dealing" with a depressed person.

Annes book on dealing with your depressed significant other is mandatory reading in learning to deal with them, and your own emotions. She uses real life cases to illustrate how living with someone who is suffering depression can effect yourself. Her guidelines on how to deal with the one you love are effective and concise. And the sections on how to take care of your own needs and emotions are a God send for those that find themselves in the turmoil of loving and living with someone that exhibits the many faces of depression.