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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Yes, a feminist can love this book too!
I've always considered myself somewhat of a feminist and am not a fan of Dr. Laura for various reasons (she's extremely hypocritical). But, I purchased this book planning to take it at face value.

Wow. A number of the points in this book made a lot of sense and were a bit of a slap in the face. Sure, Dr. Laura's a hypocrite - but ignoring that and just reading...
Published on Aug. 10 2008 by Ash B.

versus
5 of 7 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Wisdom from a Happy Marriage
My Anna and I have been married 57 years. We enjoy our marriage and our sexual relationship, and both of us detest this book. For instance, the part about a woman (or a man) saying "no" to sex.
Anna and I will never forget an early fight we had when I refused sex because I was too tired from playing softball. But we both learned. Early in our marriage, we both...
Published on Jan. 12 2004


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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Yes, a feminist can love this book too!, Aug. 10 2008
I've always considered myself somewhat of a feminist and am not a fan of Dr. Laura for various reasons (she's extremely hypocritical). But, I purchased this book planning to take it at face value.

Wow. A number of the points in this book made a lot of sense and were a bit of a slap in the face. Sure, Dr. Laura's a hypocrite - but ignoring that and just reading the words for what they are has helped me ten-fold.

I used to think, "why should I do the housework just because I'm the woman?" It's not about being the woman - it's about what I'm contributing to our relationship. My man works longer hours in a much more stressful job than I. Why is it considered socially demeaning or oppressive (yes, I admit to being one who thought it was) for me to have a health meal on the table when he gets home? If he was home 3 hours before me, I'd hope he'd do the same thing.

Definitely read this book - but take what you want and leave what won't work for you. This book is about showing your husband respect and appreciation. What's so oppressive about that?
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Increasingly rare but valuable advice, Jan. 12 2004
By 
Steven Jones (Tennessee USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
I am not a listener of Dr. Laura so I've never been considered a fan of hers, although you can't live in North America without hearing people spewing their hatred of her for various vaguely defined reasons. I've noticed that most of the negative reviews here were from people who apparently did not read this book and simply enjoy hating Dr. Laura. 5 paragraphs about why you, too, should hate Dr. Laura and not 1 word about the book is not a book review.
This is a pretty good book. It won't solve every problem a marriage may have, but it deals directly with some of the most common problems of today and provides possible solutions. It is specifically aimed at problems women can deal with in relating to men, and so is primarily targeted at a female audience. Clearly, anyone can point out problems. It is the offered solutions that make this book worthwhile. For those who want to strengthen their marriage this book can be helpful as a general guide.
I didn't give this book 5 stars because what it says is so obvious. The advice and offered solutions are only rare because such obvious truths are prohibited in modern Western society. I don't care much about Dr. Laura's past (yes, I have seen the naked photos and they are all very nice.) Her past doesn't relate much to the quality of the advice itself. And I don't care if she is a doctor of psychology or a housewife with a microphone and a phony title like the Reverend Jesse Jackson. Some doctors are idiots and some people who never went to college are exceptionally intelligent.
If all the conflicting reviews here seem confusing then I recommend that you pick up a copy at the bookstore (if you can find where they hid it - and they will hide it) and flip through it for yourself. If you are married or planning to be I guarantee that at least some of what you read will help you greatly. And if you are a socialist feminist (female supremacist) you should never marry or date any man and this book is obviously not for you.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars What Do Men Want?, April 22 2004
By 
This review is from: Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (Audio CD) (Audio CD)
*A man needs to feel strong and needed as a protector for women-basically, to conquer the beast and rescue the fair maiden.
*A man needs his woman to show him that she needs his strength to help her through life.
*A man needs his wife's encouragement in order to be a man.
Those are just a few examples of what men want, based on Dr. Laura Schlessinger's innumerable letters, e-mails and telephone calls received from frustrated men. "[W]omen get married thinking largely about what their marriage and their men can do for them, and not what they can do for their men," she writes.
Simple truths from a straight-forward woman. For over 25 years, Dr. Laura Schlessinger ("Dr. Laura") has been "preaching, teaching and nagging" on the radio, encouraging men and women to create healthy and stable homes for children. She goes a step further in The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, encouraging wives to use their power as women to create happy homes.
This book speaks to the woman who criticizes, neglects or ignores her husband, a basically decent man (not the abuser or the addicted) who is often starved for his wife's attention and affection.
Men are dependent on their wives for their emotional well-being, and want to be loved and appreciated by them, says Dr. Laura, a licensed marriage and family therapist. Men are self-admitted "simple creatures" who are raised by women, marry women and rely on them for a sense of security. Consequently, if the wife is not happy, the home is not happy.
The book will certainly provide more fodder for Dr. Laura's detractors to chew on. The idea of considering your husband's needs above your own is old-fashioned and politically incorrect. The book is bound to draw criticism from a self-centered culture where personal happiness-and not the happiness of others-is the highest priority.
In The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura offers real-life examples from letters and phone call transcripts, as well as practical advice similar to the wise counsel women once received from their mothers and grandmothers on how to keep a happy home. Such advice is also biblical. In Titus 2, older women are instructed to mentor younger women and teach them how to care for their husbands and homes.
"How is it that so many women are angry with men in general yet expect to have a happy life married to one of them?" Dr. Laura asks. She believes the answer lies in the "assault upon, and virtual collapse of, the values of religious morality, modesty, fidelity, chastity, respect for life, and a commitment to family and child rearing."
Another culprit is feminism, which has created much chaos between men and women. This ideology is particularly caustic to marriage. Men and women are different, yet feminism teaches that they are fundamentally the same. As a result, women create strife by heaping unrealistic and unnecessary expectations on their husbands.
What Dr. Laura presents in The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands is nothing new; it's merely a reminder of something very old. "Contrary to what a good forty years of feminist propaganda has claimed, it is not oppression, subjugation, or abdication of any feminine quality-of-life potential to marry a man, be proud of your bonding, rejoice in your gifts and sacrifices for your marriage and family, and derive pleasure and sustenance from your role as a wife and mother."
I am woman, hear me roar!
© 2004 La Shawn Barber
Originally appeared on Townhall.com.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing, Oct. 28 2012
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Wow! As a "modern" woman, I had never understand how my own behaviours had such a negative impact on my husband, and my own hapiness. You need to read this book if you are open minded enough and are looking to be really satisfied with your relationship. Give it a try, you'll have a chance to change your life for the better!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, June 15 2012
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This book is highly recommended for women who are genuinely wanting change in their relationship styles (not just for married people). It is painfully honest and blunt so it is only recommended for those who are wanting to make serious changes and is willing to hear what it has to say.

This book is about HIS needs and not about yours. It's about what YOU can do to make him truly be loved and if understood properly by a woman who is truly wanting to be her husband's supporter, it could make a huge difference about the marriage.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Female divorce lawyer approves of this book, Jan. 17 2004
By A Customer
I am a divorce attorney. Daily I listen at how people throw away their lives and their children's lives over silly things. Clearly, no one should remain in an abusive marriage, but Dr. Laura's book merely asks wives to be tolerant and polite to their husbands. In return, she believes that the couple's stress levels will reduce and the family will be more harmonious. It is basic advice which most spouses overlook. Be nice. Be kind. Remember to love one another. I like this book.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent!, Dec 21 2013
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Good read and great suggestions I bought one for my daughter and daugther in law, hopefully they will agree with me
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5 of 7 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Wisdom from a Happy Marriage, Jan. 12 2004
By A Customer
My Anna and I have been married 57 years. We enjoy our marriage and our sexual relationship, and both of us detest this book. For instance, the part about a woman (or a man) saying "no" to sex.
Anna and I will never forget an early fight we had when I refused sex because I was too tired from playing softball. But we both learned. Early in our marriage, we both learned that sex is a loving act that requires two ready participants to make it loving fabulous fun. It's a good thing we learned that, too. Anna needed my love and understanding when she had thyroid problems that left her exhausted, irritable, and lowered her sex drive. She was ill and needed to recover. Anna said yes, but later. I needed Anna's love and understanding as I struggled through treatment for prostate problems. I said yes, but later, I hope. I wasn't easy to live with then, either. We were frightened and confused even after diagnoses helped us understand the changes. As we went through these difficulties we weren't irritated that we couldn't meet all of each other's needs, we remained concerned and patient, because there was more to the story of our marriage than physical changes that neither of us fully understood at the time. Today, our marriage remains strong, joyous, and sexually interesting.
Sometimes my needs have been complicated and sometimes they have been simple. The same is true for Anna, although her needs are different. We've shared a full live together, and at times we've faced complicated problems together as does any couple who weathers the "full catastrophe of living." We got to know each other and we're learning more about each other and about life every day, even though we realize with some sadness that our life together is closer to the end than the beginning.
I want to believe the author is a well-meaning woman, but she is misguided. I also find it disturbing that she seems to dismiss her own failures by saying there is more to the story than that, but can't seem to see that there is more to the story of a loving marriage than the simplified disservice she's represented in this book.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Dr. Laura run amuck, Jan. 27 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (Audio CD) (Audio CD)
Laura's thoughts and comments are from some sort of fantasy existance. The basic concept of treating your mate as your friend and all of the things that go with that could have been simply said without all of the denegration of women. The whiny, overly simplfied male ego presented is a huge exaggeration to the male ego of 2004. More guilt and expectations on women is a less than helpful approach to helping troubled relationships. This book is frustrating and futile, while the basic premise was well intended, the book was very poorly executed. Listening to Laura's daily self-serving commentary is troubling, less than truthful, and consistently negates women. Not a book I'll be keeping on my bookshelf.
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4 of 6 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Works both Ways, Jan. 12 2004
By A Customer
After being in a very good marriage for almost 24 years, I feel very qualified to say that this book is a bunch of bunk. A relative had it at her house over Christmas when I started reading it. I passed it along to my husband who thought it was sillier than I did.
Both genderes have needs that are sometimes simple and sometimes complex. Both genders need to feel loved and appreciated and admired by their partner. Both genders need the freedom to have some time apart. Both genders need to pay attention to the needs of the other...both sexually and otherwise.
After all these years, we are still each others best friend. We do a lot of fun things together and have rarely fought over the course of our marriage. There has been no manipulation from either of us to the other. If we have a want or a need, we honestly express it. If the need is emotional or physical, the other of us responds to it and tries to satisfy that need. If the desire is for a material item, we decide if it's something that we can afford and then either purchase it, put it on a list for the future and save for it, or we realize it's not within our means and forget about it.
I can't imagine ever providing for my husband's needs with the intent of manipulating him into letting me go on a shopping spree. Do most women really do this? Or even think this is important? Or fun?
Take it from me. If you both truly love each other and if each of you consider each other your best friend, you will naturally do things to please each other and be respectful of and attentive to each other's needs, moods, and desires. A true friend knows when to talk and when to be silent and puts the needs of the other above their own. And if you are both doing this for the other, you will both have your needs fulfilled and will enjoy continuing to fill the other's cup, too. It's not all that hard.
In fact, I've always been amazed when people make comments like "a good marriage requires work." Work? What? We both kind of chuckle at this type of statement. Our marriage has been far too enjoyable and full of fun to have ever been work!!
And just to clarify something, we have also had to weather many storms together. Sometimes finances have been scary and there has been no security due to loss of jobs. Sometimes dealing with the health issues and other problems of our parents have taken their toll. And sometimes our children's needs have left us feeling over-stretched. But we discuss it honestly.
For example, if my husband wants sex and I truly can't give it, I might say something like "I really can't tonight. I'm way too zonked. But I'll make it up to you this weekend." And then I follow through with something he definitely feels it's worth waiting for! There have been times when I've needed more cuddling and affection than he is able to give at the moment and he will make the same type of promise. And then he always comes through with something more romantic and special than I ever needed or asked for...and it was certainly worth the wait.
Don't bother with the book. Just treat each other with respect, love, support each other, and be honest with each other. Laugh and play together. Have many mutually satisfying shared interests and a few unshared interests as a little time apart just makes the time together that much better.
In essence, don't play manipulative games with each other...just play together! Life and marriage is so much better that way.
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Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (Audio CD)
Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands (Audio CD) by Dr Laura Schlessinger (Audio CD - Dec 18 2003)
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