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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Roll Your Eyes If You Must, But Jump In Anyway
Finally after 12 years and fourteen worldwide very successful million copies, MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS comes out across the USA in the more affordable paperback. Rather than the typical "I liked it, but" format, my experience with the book was that I wound it liking it more and more as it went on, but the introductory chapters almost stopped me...
Published on Feb. 19 2004 by Allen Smalling

versus
3.0 out of 5 stars must read but dry as dust
I dont know if i should bother leaving a comment for a classic that has been reviewed soo many times, but hek why not. My girlfriend made me read this book. I am normally a fast reader. This book took me six months to read! It is more painful to read this book than a text book. So you can probably read 1 page at a time. However, the information in this book is very very...
Published 9 months ago by H. Rastgar


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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Roll Your Eyes If You Must, But Jump In Anyway, Feb. 19 2004
By 
This review is from: Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex (Paperback)
Finally after 12 years and fourteen worldwide very successful million copies, MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS comes out across the USA in the more affordable paperback. Rather than the typical "I liked it, but" format, my experience with the book was that I wound it liking it more and more as it went on, but the introductory chapters almost stopped me flat.
In school we were warned not to write in "Glittering Generalities," yet Gray does his best to make a virtue of that. Who but a stand-up comedian would dare say "Canadians love Good Government, Americans love Liberty"? Or: "Californians crave B vitamins, Midwesterners crave protein"? Gray's whole thesis sounds just as simplistic at first. (In general, and with exceptions), Men are from Mars: Competitive, individualistic, not into "caring and sharing," wanting to be admired for their ability to hang tough and deliver the goods yet unwilling to communicate the fact they need admiration. And Women are from Venus: Craving respect from their men, looking for emotional bells and whistles and not so much material status symbols as their men might suppose, prone to cycles of emotional fatigue and dependent on their mates to cherish them. In the beginning it all sounded so like a 1950s Tupperware Party I almost gave up.
But I didn't, and eventually the book works, in no small part because Gray writes patiently and simply but not simplistically, supported by a huge pool of real-life examples from his own therapy sessions (and apparently lots of "plugs" from earlier editions of his books at its successors). It's hard to argue with people who tell you their marriage was saved by this book.
Gray deals with language a lot in this book, because "Martians" and "Venusians" speak different languages, and each is only remotely connected to English. (He even uses phrasebook-translation techniques at times!) If a man comes home mulling over something and seems withdrawn, his wife may ask him, "What's wrong"? He might say, "It's okay." This is Martian for, roughly paraphrasing, "I need to withdraw into myself (his "cave," Gray says), and mull over a situation. It may be a small technical matter or something more significant. I first have to isolate the matter, then chew on it, determine its scope, and try to solve it on my own. Trust me to have enough sense to try to solve it rationally, and trust me to have enough sense to seek advice from the right source if it's something I can't handle on my own. Please DO NOT keep offering help. That's a waste of your time and mine; and it's a double insult to imply that I can't solve most of my own problems and that you somehow would be better at solving my own problems that I am." So the woman cannot interpret "It's OK" into Venusian ("Please help me") or even literal English ("Everything's fine; I'm going to relate to you normally").
On the other hand, suppose Mars and Venus are in the car, getting ready to leave the house for a long-planned camping trip. Mars turns the ignition key; Venus suddenly sighs and says, "I feel all the life is being squeezed out of me. You NEVER do anything with me anymore." Mars should not, SHOULD NOT, respond to the challenge of "never" by saying "If I 'never' do anything with you, what the Hell do you call this trip?" Which would lead to hurt feelings, bickering, perhaps an all-out fight. And Mars probably has no clue his spouse is uttering Venusian dialect meaning something along the lines of "I'm at an emotional low. All the planning and packing has drained me. I need love and sympathy. Please show how much you care for me so that I can start re-investing my trust in you." His best response might be . . . no response at all. Or maybe something like "mmmm." (Gray is very big on non-verbal verbal communication.) Martians have to listen beneath the words, beneath the contract, and learn to hear the tone ringing through the context.
Sound difficult? It is. That's why it takes a medium-sized book to broach the subject; and my paraphrases, however glib, have been worked as much as possible to be accurate. Gray's theories are convincing in structure, attitude and -- as I've said above -- outcome. Not for everyone and not all the time, but maybe for eighty percent of American couples who aren't "newlywed or nearly dead." The mass of people who haven't given up -- who care about keeping their relationships intact -- especially those who come out of an argument truly puzzled as to why mere misunderstandings escalate into wars of words, or why their problem-solving seems to ground-out at the level of "S/he's always got to WIN an argument." This book is not just for stereotype Alan Aldas or Stepford Wives; to borrow a phrase it has worked for a lot of people who worked it and will continue to do so. Just don't confuse John Gray with Moses, lest the "Commandment-like" tone of his opening chapters put you off this very good and useful book. ;)
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book on Improving Your Relationship, March 25 2004
By 
Zev Saftlas "Founder and Host of EmpoweringMe... (Brooklyn, NY United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
I really like this book. At a time where everyone wants equality for the sexes, it's vital to be aware of our naturally different temperaments.
In today's society, where we try to give everyone equal rights, equally chance, equal opportunities, we tend to forget that we are different. Books like this one by Dr Gray, remind us that no, you can't treat everyone the same. There is no total equality. Men will be men, and women will be woman.
And especially when it comes to intimate relationships between man and wife; how much more crucial it is--to be cognizant of one another's psychological differences and respect each other's natural needs, desires and wants.
Highly recommended.
Zev Saftlas, Author of Motivation That Works: How to Get Motivated and Stay Motivated
PS here is a cheat sheet for reviewing the ideas in the book at a glace.
Differences men/women
Men Need:
1. Acceptance
2. Appreciation
3. Admiration
4. Approval
5. Trust
6. Encouragement
Common mistakes men make:
1. Minimize the importance of feelings
2. Listens and gets upset - thinks she's blaming him - just listen
3. Doesn't reassure her
Women Need THESE THINGS CONSTANTLY - EVERY SINGLE DAY - YESTERDAY DOESN'T COUNT!
1. Caring
2. Understanding
3. Respect
4. Devotion
5. Validation
6. Reassurance
Common mistakes women make:
1. Improve him constantly
2. Doesn't acknowledge what he does, complains
3. Tells him like a baby (treats him)
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Worth your while, Nov. 24 2006
Once in a while a book speaks so strongly to so many people, that it does the impossible. It is popular and worthwhile. The best part is that this book gives simple pragmatic execrcises to change communication for the better. Get the book and stay married. Another great reading that I recommend is "In the meantime" by Vanzant
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5.0 out of 5 stars men are from Mars, April 15 2014
By 
Linda Maguire (Sudbury, Ontario Canada) - See all my reviews
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this book has helped my in order to deal with my husband. I have a better understanding about what her needs from our relationship
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5.0 out of 5 stars Men Are from Mars - Book, Jan. 3 2014
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This review is from: Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex (Paperback)
I gave this book to a friend of mine. She gave it to her sister who doesn't understand why men use her and then leave. Thank you.
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5.0 out of 5 stars After many broken relationships I deceided to try one more time., Dec 10 2013
By 
Francimere Morrison "Artismyworld" (Vancouver, BC, CA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex (Paperback)
Men Are from Mar and Women from Venus, is an excellent book to say the least.
My new boyfriend gave me this book to me as a gift, which took me 2 months to read.
Reason being is I had to study it. I must say, this is not an easy book to read, as it mostly is an study about a relationship and an understanding the difference in which to communicate with one another to keeping a relationship fresh as if you are always on a first date with your partner.

I'd recommend this reading to every couple if they want to continue the attractiveness with one another.

As mater of fact, I purchased two copies for Christmas gift to give to my children.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Exactly What It Claims To Be, Nov. 12 2013
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This review is from: Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex (Paperback)
I read this many, many years ago and it rang true. I thought it would be good to read again and go back to the basics- help us to understand each other. I really enjoyed it and find it to be so true.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Men and Women are different. it we meet each other i tis beautiful, Oct. 19 2013
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This review is from: Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex (Paperback)
This is a must read an keep book for the library. Good good Good. I feel loved and blessed all the time
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4.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, Oct. 6 2013
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This review is from: Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex (Paperback)
The book is an insightful look into the chemistry or lack of between men and women. Gray explains the differences and pitfalls due to our different make up and how to go easier on ourselves and each other in order to have more fulfilling and harmonious relationships. It presents a fair look into the other sex providing solutions to the common problems that ultimately lead to the breakdown in a relationship if not addressed and common ground found.
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3.0 out of 5 stars must read but dry as dust, July 4 2013
By 
H. Rastgar (Canada) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex (Paperback)
I dont know if i should bother leaving a comment for a classic that has been reviewed soo many times, but hek why not. My girlfriend made me read this book. I am normally a fast reader. This book took me six months to read! It is more painful to read this book than a text book. So you can probably read 1 page at a time. However, the information in this book is very very essential to having a successful relationship. I think this information could have been presented in maybe a quarter of the volume that was used, but its still of great use. I do however think a modern book on relationships would be very much appreciated. One that isn't this damn dry and maybe one that focuses more on some other important issues. I like to see a book also address sex in the context of relationships, finances, dealing with each other's families etc. Im sure such books are out there, but I am done reading about relationships for another 5 years after reading this!

H
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