Customer Reviews

Ten Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

The idea of writing a companion volume to _Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives_ was a good one, and, by and large, Dr. Laura Schlessinger does a fine job of identifying and explaining many of the male character traits that cause problems in men's lives and relationships.

However, the book is guilty of some uncharacteristically fuzzy thinking, which allows Dr. Laura to vent against some of her favourite foes--that monolithic block of fanatics known as "The Feminists" (who are a bitter, undifferentiated and irrational crew, in Schlessinger's opinion)--and to excuse men, to some degree, from their irresponsible and self-defeating behavior.

According to Schlessinger, one of the main causes of male irresponsibility in contemporary society is gender-role confusion caused by a culture dominated by "feminism," which she seems to equate with a very rigid style of liberal feminism that denies all psychological and biological differences between men and women, and which is fundamentally anti-male. As a feminist, who has taught Women's Studies (another one of Dr. Laura's nemeses), I can vouch authoritatively for the fact that feminism is a much more complex phenomenon than this, and by no means unformly, or predominantly, anti-male. By blaming "the feminists" (equated with "culture") Schlessinger manages, to some degree, to let men "off the hook" for their reprehensible behaviour--although Schlessinger never allows women the same latitude(feminist claims that women have been oppressed by centuries of male dominated culture--as evidenced by mere historical details such as women's deprivation of legal and civil rights relative to men's over the centuries--are, according to Dr. Laura, illegitimate and irrelevant in explaining women's self-defeating behaviours).

Dr. Laura's aggressively pro-male stance, ironically enough, leads the reader (at least the female reader) to a sense of despair over "mankind." Her chapter on "Stupid Husbanding," for example, presents such a lengthy litany of male irresponsibility, insensitivity and just plain stupidity that any sane woman would run screaming rather than commit to a relationship with a member of a sex so clearly unsuited to matrimony. Moreover, her biological determinism--maleness is an "animal" trait which must be overcome, but "being a man" is "human," and to be striven towards--is rather insulting to men. Male biology somehow makes men less than human, and huge amounts of effort must be exerted in order for them to achieve human connection and civilized behavior.

All this said, the book provides a wealth of detail and insight on men's behavior that will be illuminating to both men and women readers.

I'm 17 years old and found this book in my parents' bedroom last night. My parents are out of town, so I propped myself up with a pillow and began reading it on their bed.

By the time I finished it was four-thirty in the morning, and I wasn't tired. What a book! I'm still a teenager, one who doesn't date, do drugs, have sex, drink, watch porno, etc, and even though this book was intended for men, adult men who have grown up and entered the working force and the world of realtionships and sex, I found it deeply insightful and clear. Dr. Laura lays morality on the table in an effective and entertaining way, and it makes sense, which is the problem with most messages coming from either side, the right or the left. She explains the workings of the male, and female minds and how they are different, and how they are the same, as well as the monumental difference between being male and being a man. She talks about self control and how having it can not only bring you respect, it can bring you true, healthy relationships, and she defines how to be an equal partner in marriage, a real equal partner, not the liberal feminist definition of equal partnership.

Five stars, an excellent book for the moral minded, and for the not so moral minded, who want to know what morals are.

Dr Laura would get 10 thumbs up for this one, if I only had 10 to give. Men, I encourage you to read it, examine your own life, and look for ways to improve it. Dr Laura's advice is centered on old fashioned values which too many people in modern society have thrown away. Was I guilty of anything in this book? You bet I am, and I wish I had read it 20 years ago. Women -- not all of this advice is strictly for man bashing, some of it could apply to you too!

Everybody knows about the good Doctor, 'cause she has spent a good deal of her life persuing publicity thru the channels of TV, radio, etc. That is not, however, the reason I picked up and read her book about Men and the stuff they do.

I became fascinated with Doc Laura after meeting her at an art opening in Dallas about six years ago. I was there with my girlfriend, (at the time!) and we were trying to enjoy the work of some goofy modern impressionist cat. I look over at the buffet table and I see this women stuffing her handbag full of finger sandwiches! I point it out to my gal-pal, she goes, "Hey, that's Doctor Laura!" We go over to say hello.

She was pretty cool and all, and ever since then I read all of ther stuff. Most of it's nonsense, but I get a kick out reading it 'cause I met her and remember how she was stealing all of that food.

I only heard her show once, and was not impressed at all. But this book is quite excellent if you are trying to sort out your life, or what you may be going through or did go through. While I didn't find all the chapters worth reading, the ones I did like were very insightful, essentially doing mini case studies on what has happened with her callers, by relating their stories.

The first chapter, Stupid Chivalry, explores how guys who are "too nice" to women may be denying their real needs and therefore not being real. This backfires for the "nice" guy, but results in a dupe being available to be used by a woman who wants things done for her. Women want men who are real as mates. The chapter also explores guyus being nice because they may feel that their hand is so weak, that they welcome someone who has a lot of troubles so that they won't have to worry about being abandoned. They will feel needed. But unlikely is the case that they will be wanted for more than solving problems of the troubled woman.

The 6th chapter, Stupid Matrimony, explores idiotic motivations for getting married. "She's cute!" is one of them. With so many marriages ending in divorce, it is obvious that people do not always have the resources to think through what is drawing them towards marriage in a practical way. This book is an excellent eye-opener. Just because someone is wonderful to have fun with does not mean that you can overlook their flaws and get away with it. The message of this book, through the histories of her listeners is you will not get away with it. Having someone you can rely on and work with is very important. And making excuses for a woman's current behavior, if it isn't good for a relationship, won't make that behavior go away in the future.

In short, those two chapters were so good in helping me analyze my life that I picked up a copy of the book for a friend who has done some of the stupid things. This book is about seeing stupid things we can do as stupid, rather than just feeling our way through and thinking things will magically work out, and that we will be appreciate, or that the woman will behave better.

If you are trying to sort things out in you life, relative to women, this book should help you see a lot more clearly. And I say that having read many books on related areas.

Good luck.

This is the first Dr. Laura book that I have read. It is amazing. As a college-aged guy, this book could not have come at a better time. Her book opened my eyes to why I, and other guys, act the way that they do.

Also, I would disagree that this book has a negative tone toward guys, and views males in helpless or pathetic. The pages in the book have the best advice that I could have received. If you are considering buying this book, do it! Your life might change for the better.

Many of the 10 things didn't apply to me personally, but that wasn't a surprise. However, one of the ten was right on the money & explained why I have made such bad choices in the past w/ choosing a woman. Now that I'm aware of my tendency, it helps me to be more selective & to not fall into the same trap.

This book seemed more aimed toward a boyfriend girlfriend scenario than a married couple like myself. I like Dr. Laura on the radio and her book is well written, but did not appeared to be aimed at me.

I was relieved to see that another reviewer took note of "Dr." Laura's profound animosity towards her own sex.

I couldn't finish this book. It offended me far too much. In Schlessinger's opinion, it seems that the "stupid" things men do are all the fault of the women in their lives. According to her, the only "stupid" thing a man can actually do is associate with the wrong woman. (My Lord, it was the woman! SHE told me to eat the apple!) She also spends an inordinate amount of time excusing sexist and inappropriate male behavior as "biological."

I don't like walking around all day seething with anger, so I closed the book. I suggest you do the same.

I love men, and I've always wanted to better understand where they're coming from. This book has really helped me do that. I read some of its passages to my boyfriend (who hates Dr. Laura and can't stand it when I listen to her show), and he found himself agreeing with what she wrote in spite of himself. This book has also helped me be a better girlfriend (and woman in general) because I saw some of my own behaviors in the "danger signs" of women men should watch out for. Ouch. It's good to keep yourself in check by seeing what 'the other side' thinks about you.