Customer Reviews

Vampire Kisses 7: Love Bites

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Raven and Alexander can't seem to get a minute alone. No sooner have Alexander's parents returned to Romania (read ROYAL BLOOD) than another visitor has come knocking on the mansion's door. This time, it's Sebastian. Sebastian is Alexander's best friend from Romania. Raven is surprised. Alexander has never talked much about his old home, and now, not only has she just met his parents, she now gets to grill his best friend for hints of Alexander's history.

Sebastian can't understand how Alexander can be around Raven and not be tempted to turn her into a vampire. Sebastian has met Raven's best friend, Becky, and is instantly hypnotized by her. Raven has to take it upon herself to ensure that Sebastian doesn't do anything to Becky. She reminds him constantly of Becky's boyfriend, Matt, but Sebastian keeps turning up in odd places...like Becky's barn.

In order to find Sebastian a nice vampire girl he can settle down with, Raven and Alexander decide to throw a party at the mansion. A small intimate party with some special girls that Raven knows from the Coffin Club.

But as can be expected with the VAMPIRE KISSES series, the party doesn't go off quite as planned. Raven is afraid Becky will learn about the party and be miffed she wasn't invited. Raven's nemesis, Trevor, caught doodles in Raven's notebook hinting at a party. And Onyx and Scarlet are late showing up. It isn't until totally unexpected and uninvited guests show up to the party that things get really interesting.

Ms. Schreiber leaves the reader dangling when the final page is turned...again! How frustrating! But as with the previous installments, it just makes the reader eager for more!

Raven and Alexander are shown in a lighter context in LOVE BITES. Alexander is finally adapting to the current century with new technology (thanks to Sebastian), and Raven tries to play matchmaker and host a party. The story flows quickly and as always is entertaining until the final page. Even though the story moves fast, I can never get enough of Raven and Alexander. They are the most interesting pair, and that's what makes them so fun to read about.

Reviewed by: Jaglvr

For any Mary Sue in a vampire series, there's only one goal -- get him to turn you into a vampire too, so you can reap the benefits of eternal life, good looks, and money.

But that has yet to happen by the seventh Vampire Kisses book, wittily entitled "Love Bites." Ellen Schneider has thankfully put a damper on the constant mallgoth references, but other parts of the story haven't improved at all -- teenybopper vampires, contrived romantic angst, and a bloodsucker culture that sounds suspiciously human.

Raven and Alexander are making out in the "blood cellar" when someone arrives at the mansion -- it's Alexander's best friend from Romania, Sebastian. First, Raven gets jealous because Alexander is spending time with a guy friend instead of her, and then she's alarmed because Sebastian seems to be getting the hots for her friend Becky.

And while Raven angsts about the fact that Alexander hasn't vampirized her yet, she does whatever she can to keep Sebastian from pursuing Becky. But after Sebastian tastes Becky's blood, it fractures the friendship between him and Alexander -- and the best idea Raven has is to pair him up with somebody else.

The biggest problem with the Vampire Kisses series is that the vampires in it are basically humans with fangs -- there's no mystery, magic or allure about them, and they act exactly like the humans (down to having the same mallgoth style). In fact, if you removed the word "vampire" from "Love Bites" you'd just have a horrendously bland CW soap opera.

And unfortunately, Ellen Schreiber just cannot write romantic tension -- most of the book's drama stems from contrived angst; there's a brief time when it seems that Alexander's nature will be revealed, but it dies a quick painful death. Her writing is painfully tepid at best ("Though the Mansion was as decayed as an ancient ruin...") and filled with unintentionally hilarious moments (Ravens whines that Alexander doesn't send her cutesy text messages).

Thankfully, Raven keeps her rantings about "gothic this/that/other thing" to a minimum here, but she's still incredibly annoying and immature. She meddles with Becky's love life, dribbles incoherently after Alexander, and gets incredibly jealous of "guy time" -- what exactly is to like about her? Alexander remains a 2-D vampire lover without an ounce of menace or allure, and Sebastien is just the flirtier version.

"Love Bites" truly does bite -- it's a flaccid teen soap which just happens to have a bit of fangs and Hot Topic gothery going on. Give this one a pass, and you won't miss anything.