Customer Reviews

The Secret Of The Shadow: The Power of Owning Your Story

5 star:		(17)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book is much like those diet pills that promise to make you thin over night. What I mean is, this book likes to "dangle carrots" in front of you. Instead of strating with, "How would you like to be rich? How you like to have the perfect body?" It dangles a different carrot- "How would you like to know your true self, be extremely happy, life the life of your dreams, and be special?" Probably anyone would say yes. But that is as much as this book offers- hope to cling to and keep on wishing. The idea of the book is that every single person has a "story" that sets limitations on themselves. THe stories usually have a theme, something like "I'm not good enough, I'm undeserving, I don't matter, No one wants me, There's something wrong with me, etc". Debbie Ford tells us that although we need our stories and they are a part of us, they are not the WHOLE us, and in order to find our true selves we must transcend our stories by healing the wounds from our past, taking back our projections and resentments, extracting the lessons and wisdom our stories teach us,offering our unique contribution to the world, and of course, finding the secret of our shadow (usually the opposite of what our theme is). Although it has some good exercises at the end of each chapter, it seems like the exercises are more for your head than your heart. You have to meditate and sometimes people are numb and can't bring up emotions from the past right away. Sometimes you just can't make yourself feel something instantly. If you're in a different mood or dont' care, the exercises won't work. People can be go from being sad one minute and then happy the next and sometimes it's hard to get into the past mood you were in at 5 hours ago in order to heal it.

Some of the things that I don't like about the book are that Debbie Ford criticizes people who are stuck in ruts as if she's much better than them and can't have her time wasted by talking to them. And when she talks about unique specialties that each of our "stories" have given to us, everyone else's always pales in comparison to hers.

It's an ok read, and Debbie gives many "dangling carrots" but the exercises don't work well. If you're going to buy it, at least get it for less than the 25 dollars she's charging for it. It's not worth it.

Henry David Thoreau once said that "the mass of men lead lives of quiet desparation," and this book sheds light on the fact that his insightful comment applies to most of our lives.

Debbie Ford provides the way out of this desparation with her insightful book. Once we are confronted with and accept the truth that we all have a story, that we are shackled to this story, but that we have a choice to be free, real freedom is to be experienced.

How will I know? You will love other people, you'll see that "it ain't all about me," and there won't be a petty bone in your body. You'll be one great big bundle of love!

Reading this book was like having a spiritual cataract operation. I was blind (blinded by my story), but now I see (the real me, the me that G-d knew in His mind from before the foundation of the world.

Read...experience...then live!

coyuld really use the information in this book

I really enjoyed this next book from Debbie. It solidifies what she talks about in her first book - owning the side of ourselves that we want to forget exists. Remember, the people around you know all your faults - but what is a fault to one is not a fault to another. By not owning all of ourselves, we deprive the world and those closest to us the opportunity to see who they really are! This book was worth the money, and I will read it over and over again.

Cmon people - why are we so unforgiving ?

of course, there is nothing truly new in ultimate reality
and you may have heard many of these truths before in
some other form. But that is no excuse to be jaded about it.

If you "really" understood the old truths to the deepest
level, wouldnt you already be living exactly the way you
desire ? The way you live is the truest test of how well
you have understood the previous truths and whether a newer
form of the same essential truth can benefit you.

Lets get some perspecitve: I thank God that we now have
people like Debbie who point out dysfunction whereas
30 years ago, all forms of abusive behaviors were considered
"as good as it gets"

There is much to recommend this book--one of the other reviewers has given a wonderful overview. It certainly has good ideas and is certainly no less worth reading or listening to than other self-help programs. The thing that bothers me about it, though, is what seems like the author's intense disrespect for other self-help programs of her own ilk. She speaks of the dysfunction of all that searching--looking for answers in one self-help program/method, and then another (she names some of the programs)--and, to me, a dispassionate "objective party," the others are no less (or more) valid than hers. She has a lot of truths, to be sure, and plenty of good points, and she has done a lot of thinking. (So have all the others!) But, by her own definition (even though maybe she doesn't realize this), you are being dysfunctional by looking to her for answers--since it's just one of those many self-help programs, after all. Maybe your own answers are no less valid than hers--maybe our mistake truly is looking to people like Ms. Ford for answers. After all, we're all only human--maybe she has no more answers, really, than any of the rest of us.

There is much to recommend this book--one of the other reviewers has given a wonderful overview. It certainly has good ideas and is certainly no less worth reading or listening to than other self-help programs. The thing that bothers me about it, though, is what seems like the author's intense disrespect for other self-help programs of her own ilk. She speaks of the dysfunction of all that searching--looking for answers in one self-help program/method, and then another (she names some of the programs)--and, to me, a dispassionate "objective party," the others are no less (or more) valid than hers. She has a lot of truths, to be sure, and plenty of good points, and she has done a lot of thinking. (So have all the others!) But, by her own definition (even though maybe she doesn't realize this), you are being dysfunctional by looking to her for answers--since it's just one of those many self-help programs, after all. Maybe your own answers are no less valid than hers--maybe our mistake truly is looking to people like Ms. Ford for answers. After all, we're all only human--maybe she has no more answers, really, than any of the rest of us.

It is so easy to fall victim to playbacks from wayback (as Chris Alexander call them), but we all have choices about the life we live. Although we all know how to live a life of joy, it is always good to see it in print. I read this book together with "Creating Extraordinary Joy" by Chris Alexander - a combination that I can recommend.

When you look at the cover of this book, Your first thought maybe similar to mine, that is, this is an autobiograghy of a Hollywood celebrity. The cover is abit overdone, but has very little to do with the message inside so don't let it deter you from reading this book. This book is full of valuable insights. Debbie Ford carefully reminds the reader that we are truly much more than our life stories and past circumstances, in fact many of our past dramas (even the most traumatic ones) when acknowledged and understood will serve us in many useful ways and open us up to the Truth, that we are never seperate from God. Our stories can transform each of us and free us to contribute to others in a meaningful way. The Healing Action Steps at the end of each chapter are quite useful and serve to make "The Secret of The Shadow" one of the better spiritual guides in the market

The Debbie Ford program seems to be a mix of many self help techniques with her own powerful twist on them and the results which brings wholeness to the personality. Trust yourself to purchase and use this book or the set of tapes. She offers free (bridgeline)phone conference calls for additional encouragement.
Very good.