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17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Critics are missing the point -- read the book!
Having just heard Ms. Coloroso speak, I can say with certainty that her critics here online who claim she teaches kids new-age ideas and is anti-family discipline are wrong. Her emphasis is emphatically on teaching kids to be respectful of themselves, people in authority, and their communities. She says that if you teach kids to do what you say just because you say so,...
Published on Feb. 17 2001

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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Good and bad
The main message in this book as I remember it is:

If a situation is not immoral, unhealthy or life threatening, let it be!
If your kids screw up, give them responsibility of the problem by letting find a solution for themselves.

This is good advice indeed. Teach the kids how to be responsible for their actions and hopefully, make better...
Published on Jan. 26 2009 by J. Graham


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17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Critics are missing the point -- read the book!, Feb. 17 2001
By A Customer
Having just heard Ms. Coloroso speak, I can say with certainty that her critics here online who claim she teaches kids new-age ideas and is anti-family discipline are wrong. Her emphasis is emphatically on teaching kids to be respectful of themselves, people in authority, and their communities. She says that if you teach kids to do what you say just because you say so, they'll grow up to do what people in their peer groups do because they can't think for themselves. But you're still the parent and the one who draws the line in matters of security, morality, and legality. One of her shorthand references shows the differences between punishment and discipline. Her idea of discipline is to show kids what they've done wrong, and give them ways to solve the problems they've created, but allow them to keep their dignity. If your idea of traditional discipline involves shaming children when they make honest mistakes or "explaining" decisions by saying, "Because I said so, that's why," then she's not your kind of disciplinarian. But if you want to teach your children to think for themselves so that they can grow up to be less influenced by their peer groups and work well with other people at home and in their communities, her theories are worth a look. And as for the London reader who says the book is "Typically American," I suggest that person spend some time familiarizing himself or herself with the styles of parenting that actually prevail in this country. If her attitude were typically American, there'd be no need for this book.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Good and bad, Jan. 26 2009
By 
J. Graham - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
The main message in this book as I remember it is:

If a situation is not immoral, unhealthy or life threatening, let it be!
If your kids screw up, give them responsibility of the problem by letting find a solution for themselves.

This is good advice indeed. Teach the kids how to be responsible for their actions and hopefully, make better choices.

The author divides families in 3 categories. The Jellyfish and brickwall families have the wrong approach according to this book. I did not think that it was useful to tell us how the jellyfish and brickwall parents will react to situations in every chapters. After a few examples, you get the point. Repeating how the Jellyfish and brickwall parents would react to a situation over and over again is bothersome. The backbone families have the right approach. This is what parents are intested in. The book could have been much shorter by skipping the repetition.

Too much repetition but good message overall. Still worth reading.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book!, June 29 2000
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Ms Diva "cycworker" (Nanaimo, B.C. Canada) - See all my reviews
Although the book is focussed on parenting, the ideas and philosophies the author promotes apply to anyone who works with kids. I have found that using the techniques suggested in this book as made me 100 times more effective in my job. Colorosso understands the value of self-awareness and an internal locus on control in healthy development. The book not only helped me in work with kids, it also gave me insight into myself, my experiences, and my relationships in general. I believe that the 3 types of families - backbone, brickwall, or jellyfish - also can be seen as 3 personality styles, so that we are not only brickwall, jellyfish, or backbone people with kids, we are that way in general, where our relationships are concerned. If you look at it this way the book will go a long way to giving you tools to deal with all sorts of conflicts in your life.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Love, love and Love, my relationship with my kids changed!, Feb. 7 2013
By 
I so love her book and thanks to that book, my relationship with my kids changed. Since it has been a while that I did read it, now I have to read it all over again, since I forgot some of her tools.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Terrific skill set, Dec 6 2012
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If you've ever wondered who knows best-its barbara. Her advice for teachers, parents and other care givers is based on experience and a true love of children. She wants to create a future generation who cares and can think for themselves.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Every parent, new or experienced, should have this book, Oct. 14 2012
By 
kristina (Victoria, BC CA) - See all my reviews
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Learn why NOT saying, "no" to your child, while it can be the hardest thing in the world to do, is the best thing in the world to do. It takes a while to get used to (and probably a lifetime to master!) but the results are amazing. The boundaries are set, and they have a hard time arguing with you.

Save yourself and your family hours / days / weeks / months / years of struggling for "control" - buy this book!!!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars True wisdom that doesn't age with time., June 25 2012
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I was privileged to meet Barbara many years ago in her early career as as speaker and bearer of wisdom for parents. Looking at this printing with the updated Forward, it is obvious that the humor, the lessons, and mostly the basic common sense within this book is as relevant to today's parents as it was many years ago. Personally, I choose this book as a valuable present when parents welcome their first born. Every generation is worth it!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Kids are worth it, Aug. 29 2010
I bought this book for my daughter now that she is a mom. I first saw Barbara on the Deni Petty show back in the 70's and ordered her video. It was such good info and presented with humour, that many of my friends borrowed it, but one did not return it. I highly recommend this book for anyone raising kids. It really makes sense.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars By far the best parenting book I have ever read, March 16 2001
Barbara Coloroso is right on target. This book has helped me understand and respect my son more. Yes, I am still the adult and he the child but I know that I will be able to raise him into a competent, caring, and contributing member of society with my own skills and the guidance of this book. IF only we could all treat each other the way Ms. Coloroso recommends treating our children. I also found this to be one of the few parenting books out there that explained how to apply these principles to the youngest children (even toddlers). Thank you for this book!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is NOT for lazy parents, Dec 8 2000
By 
"kangarex" (Keokuk, IA United States) - See all my reviews
If you don't want to put effort into raising your kids, this is not the book for you. But if you want clear-thinking, responsible kids, and don't mind some effort getting there, you can't have a better reference. Ms Coloroso's advice is clear, and should make you think hard about how you interact with your children. Yes my son is 3 and I'm 30. Yes I'm the parent, but he still has opinions about his life, and some are worth paying attention to. And sometimes I'm wrong. Being the parent doesn't make me God. Also note, I'm usually in the right, listening means that I pay attention to my sons' opinions and wants, not that I cave in to them every time.
Believe me it's much, much harder making a 3 year old take the consequence of a misbehavior, and helping him try to fix his problem himself than it would be to punish him for it and fix things myself, but oh boy does he learn more when I put in the effort.
This is not minimum effort parenting, and it's not about letting your kids always having their own way. It's about teaching them how to think rather than what to think.
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Kids Are Worth It! Giving Your Child the Gift of Inner Discipline
Kids Are Worth It! Giving Your Child the Gift of Inner Discipline by Barbara Coloroso (Paperback - Oct. 11 2001)
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