7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
on March 29, 2009
I highly recommend this book. The insight you will gain into yourself and everyone around you makes it more than worth the price. I find myself muttering "cognitive dissonance" under my breath frequently whenever I observe people espousing ridiculous notions and defending irrational claims. It has helped me as a classroom to teacher to understand the motivations behind many of my students' behaviours. If you do not go to get this book, a mistake will have been made by you.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
It is difficult to change your mind, and it is especially difficult to admit that you have made a mistake. This book explains how we become committed to our own initial decisions, even when all the evidence suggests we were wrong. The authors provide numerous real examples of people who made decisions that turned out to be mistakes, such prosecutors who successfully pursued criminal cases, only to later learn that the defendant was in fact innocent. It is very hard to admit you were wrong, after you put someone in jail for years.
Mistakes Were Made provides some wonderful insight into how the human mind works -- and how it often fails to work. No system is perfect, and the human mind, for all its abilities, is certainly no exception to that rule. Yet, by understanding the way the mind works, and the mistakes we are prone to make, we can learn to reduce those mistakes and improve ourselves. Everyone should read this book.
I've often wondered how seemingly good honest people turn into dishonest and self serving politicians. This book covers a lot of experiments and examples that show how little by little, small acts of dishonesty, eventually lead to the justification of big acts of dishonesty. You get a man to lose his ethical compass one step at a time.
Self justification is a scary thing we do to preserve our ego and even ourselves. It's more powerful than a lie and it is absolutely more dangerous than a lie because we're not conscious that we're doing it.
This is such an excellent book for revealing why we do that as humans, helping you see where you might be hiding the truth from yourself and understanding how it plays into your attempts to influence others. The research covered in this book is great ... not too scientific but detailed enough that you understand what the point is.
For a business person or anyone interested in human psychology, but not wanting a hard read, this book will be highly satisfying for you!
From business to home (there is an entire chapter dedicated to how this plays into marriages) - this book will equip you with useful insights into the human mind and behaviors around mistakes and justifications for them. And you'll be in a better position to learn from your mistakes and help influence others when they are dead wrong too. :)
on February 19, 2010
There are so many books out there giving psychology a bad name. Tavis and Aronson get it. They demand the use of the scientific method in psychology and point out the differences between the ill-conceived ideas that lead to pseudo-psychology and the real deal. And the differences are vast. In the process, we are given insightful information (of the scientific variety) and thoughtful presentations. We are asked to think about our motives and our hard-wiring.
Every wonder why people say things that are obviously not true? How the Nazis could have been so far out there? How do people go on believing the end of the world is coming when it didn't end last year (as they predicted)? What about those folks who say they were abducted by aliens? How come the perfect marriage falls apart? Where do those sickos come from who exist in our society? How can juries of 12 honest people listen to the facts for a lengthy trial and then turn around and convict an innocent person or let a murderer go free?
This book provides us with sound well-researched answers. VERY insightful. I borrowed the book, but having read it, now I have to buy it. It is one I need to own. If you're the least bit interested in the inner workings of the human mind, this book will give you lots of facts and lots to think about.
on November 28, 2009
We all know that taking responsibility for our actions is the right thing to do. But why do so many people -- some of them very influential -- fail to do so?
This engaging book tells dozens of fascinating stories, some of them well-known historical accounts, some of them from the news. They come from medicine, the criminal justice system, marriage, and nations. In all these stories, people deal awkwardly with situations, make bad decisions, behave foolishly or cruelly, or hold strange beliefs. The stories alone would make this book a great read.
The common thread running through all the stories, the common reason for all the behaviours, is a simple subconscious act: self-justification.
The psychological term "cognitive dissonance" is well known: the tension that occurs when a person holds two inconsistent cognitions. Typically, one will be a thought, a belief or a value and the other will be something the person does or did. For instance, "eating a lot will make me fatter" and "I really like my coffee and cake every afternoon".
What few people seem to realize is how difficult it is for us to live with cognitive dissonance, and how self-justification automatically kicks in: the elaborate mental gymnastics we do to justify *to ourselves* what we've done. "The cake puts me in a good mood". "It's instead of a snack". "I just have to have it". "I exercise so much anyway".
The authors go to great lengths to explain that self-justification isn't just about clever excuses or not admitting mistakes. It's a natural subconscious mechanism that helps us go on living. The trouble with it -- which they communicate eloquently and unequivocally -- is that it often backfires, getting us deeper in trouble.
Some of their examples are chilling. The detectives who planted evidence because the evidence they did have was inadmissible; couples whose marriages are quickly going downhill because each side believes he's acting rationally but his partner isn't; the judge who said that convicting the true killer doesn't mean that the wrongfully-convicted person is innocent.
This trouble extends to groups and nations. The example I'm personally familiar with: my homeland, Israel, where we always said how right and moral we were and how wrong and immoral "they" were; it's always the other side who "started it"; and here we are in 2009 and still no closer to the solution, which is *both* sides agreeing to put down their self-justification and admitting their responsibility for the situation. The book gives the counter-example of South Africa, where tensions had run so high a bloodshed seemed inevitable, but a mutual, unlikely agreement to stop self-justifying has led to most outstanding results.
I'm a little disappointed that only a few pages are dedicated to the research and examples that show that not all is lost. That different approaches to learning, and the meaning of mistakes, are not ingrained; they are cultural and learned, and can be overcome.
If you'd like to take more responsibility in your life, read this book. If you'd like to figure out others' behaviour better, read this book. And if all you want is an interesting pastime... read this book.
11 of 14 people found the following review helpful
Sometimes, I think that the world is full of hypocrites. The news is full of politicians who preach family values and then are caught in an affair. Everyday we see religious advocates who call for peace and in the same breath state that their God is the only true God. Then, there's the business world where lying and cheating seem to be part of the game.
Sometimes, I wonder how these people live with themselves.
Mistake Were Made (but not by me) addresses that exact question. It would seem that the human mind is designed to selectively remember and process information. Thus, the politician, religious leader, business person, or even ourselves often don't realize that we are being hypocritical. Moreover, as our actions and logic become further and further separated, we tend to hold tighter onto our original notions. Instead of admitting that we were wrong, we justify our actions even more strongly.
Mistake Were Made (but not by me) was a huge eye opener. People don't justify stupid decisions because they are bad people. On the contrary, no one wants to admit they are a fool. Look within, what beliefs do you fight the most adamantly about?
on March 16, 2009
Carol Tavris has written a book that explains the most extraordinary human ability to deny the facts, appearing to be delusional and/or so self-absorbed absorbed as to be hiding from reality. Well-written and clearly described with examples from our daily world, it brings the psychological reasons behind the rationalizations we so willingly engage in to the reader in an understandable and most human way. Please read: "Mistakes were made (but not by me): why we justify foolish beliefs, bad decisions and hurtful acts" by Carol Tavris (2007). How you see the world (and indeed yourself) will be changed.
on February 10, 2014
Simply written . Easy read . Well researched .
It is only worth reading if you are ready to loosen your attachments to your own belief systems otherwise leave it on the shelf.
None of their examples of " foolish beliefs " include politically correct dogma which means the authors might want to read their own book .
A book that might help you attain detachment so in one way it might be called a spiritual book .
I enjoyed it
on November 19, 2013
Cognitive Dissonance was something I never understood until i read this book. I heard it in a YouTube rant once and so I decided to check it out and I was not disappointed. It looks at how we can hold two opposing moral thoughs in our head and try to rationalize both and how it can end up destroying not only us, but those around us. Great research, stories and concepts to make you realize your own cognitive dissonance. Check it out!
on June 9, 2013
If you really want to consider how you really,really make choices, you must read this excellent book.
You will quickly recognize the truth of our decision making!