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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Motherless Daughters: The Daughter of a Bi-Polar Mom
I read this book some years back per the suggestion of a therapist. At the time my mother was still alive yet for so long it was as though she were not. Hope's book not only includes information on the emotions of someone who has to deal with the death of a mother but for people who have lost their mother's due to Mental Illness. My mother was BiPolar and was never...
Published on March 3 2004 by Ann Ammons

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3.0 out of 5 stars I can empathize with those who were not helped by this book
I was 15, my mother died of a heart-attack and it was unexpected. Many of the women in this book knew their mothers into adulthood and after putting this book down I was extremely disappointed that the author had not sought out a larger cross-section of the grieving public, and that she had transplanted grieving daughters into the culture of victimhood for lack of a...
Published on May 17 1999


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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Motherless Daughters: The Daughter of a Bi-Polar Mom, March 3 2004
This review is from: Motherless Daughters: The Legacy Of Loss (Hardcover)
I read this book some years back per the suggestion of a therapist. At the time my mother was still alive yet for so long it was as though she were not. Hope's book not only includes information on the emotions of someone who has to deal with the death of a mother but for people who have lost their mother's due to Mental Illness. My mother was BiPolar and was never medicated. She was never able to function in the role of a mother and the one that I had so longed for. As a matter of fact, I felt like I was the mother always providing that emotional support to her. The book was an eye opener and helped me to understand more as to who I react in this world. I identified espeically with feeling out of place around other women who partake in small talk. It is my intention to pick up the book again and read it since my mother has now passed from this world. For me.....her death was the finality of not having that mother and knowing that I never would. The book helped me to realized that my feelings and emotions were appropriate, that I was not alone and that there was a reason for some of my behaviors. I will say that at the time I read it that it was a very difficult and painful book for me to read. However, it was most definitely beneficial.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The "Handbook" for Motherless Daughters, July 7 2003
I lost my mother to cancer when I was twelve. A year or so later, amidst a fit of tears, I came upon a copy of this book in my father's room. He had meant to give it to me when I was older, but even as a young teen, I understood everything that Edelman writes about and could relate as well. I call it the "Handbook" because, besides being wonderfully emotional and personal in anecdotes and quotations, Edelman provides many scenarios (e.g., what happens if one if the youngest child, what happens if the father has a hard time, etc, etc). There is bound to be something that ANY motherless daughter will find meaningful. I know that I was able to finally come to the realization that I was not alone in my situation. She does a fine job in presenting the motherless daughter as NOT a victim, but rather as a survivor who can leave some special mark on the world. There are examples of well-known motherless daughters (Madonna, Patricia Heaton, Meg Ryan, and others). We are finally not alone as motherless daughters!
The book is broken down into coherent sections narrating what happens right after the loss through years later when the motherless daughter is a mother herself and still feels the pain (which is, thankfully, "normal!"). There's a helpful index if one wants to locate specific information too-- I used this book as a reference when preparing a presentation on the topic for a class. I keep this book beside my bed, not because I'm so overcome with grief, but just as a "security book"-- reading it when I need some sort of affirmation that what I'm feeling is "okay." I have re-read it many times in the past 7 years. Amazing and beautifully written.
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5.0 out of 5 stars As if reading something I myself had written..., Dec 12 2002
By 
Motherless Daughters is a must have book for any woman who has lost her mother (and even for those who've never really had one). I lost my mother 4 years ago, and this book (which I bought 2 years ago) has helped me to understand that my feeling after her death were not unusual. I truly am not alone, and neither are you. I believe that one woman put it correctly when she said "I feel as though sometimes I just want to shout "I lost my mother when I was 17 years old" to explain why I do some things the way I do. I feel like it is who I am..." That is true for me as I'm sure it is for many others out there. You will find in this book something for everyone: Women whose mothers died suddenly, Women whose mothers died after many years of long painful suffering, Women whose mothers were their best friend, and some whose mothers were there worst enemies. No one is ignored, even the ones whose mothers perhaps did not die, but abandoned them. This is the only book I've ever seen that targets the specific problems (and strengths) of motherless daughters, and if you are one, or you love one, you really need to read this book.
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1.0 out of 5 stars Not for everyone, Oct. 19 2001
By A Customer
My mother died suddenly but of natural causes when I was 27 years old. Within days of her death, this book was given to me as a gift. It made me feel worse than I had before because I wasn't as close to my mother as the women who shared their stories for the book. It made me feel guilty for not having that type of mother-daughter relationship. There is no doubt that my Mother and I loved one another very much. However, she happened to have a stronger bond with my other siblings & I a stronger bond with my father. This book doesn't address the amicable and loving yet mediocre mother-daughter bond. The book is probably great for those people who shared a special bond with their mother but it may be a good idea to look elsewhere for comfort if you didn't have that bond & feel poorly about it or know that you will never have it. Please note: give this book as a gift only if you know for sure that it would be appropriate. Even then, wait a few weeks & discuss it with the person prior to the purchase.
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5.0 out of 5 stars A Vital Read for Every Motherless Daughter, Aug. 30 2001
By 
Cara Moreno "cara0624" (New York, NY United States) - See all my reviews
I read this book during the most raw period of my grieving - two weeks after my mother passed away from a rapid three month battle with cancer in June of 2001. At a time when I felt so alone and misunderstood, I could hear Ms. Edelman's words, as well as those of the women about which she writes, speak to me. Every time I opened the book, I felt as if I were entering a support group comprised of this sorority of women who "just know." This book has helped me tremendously to understand my behavior relative to my loss, gain insight to various forms in which the loss will present itself in the future and understand the inevitable change in family dynamics. It has also taught me how to help others cope with the same loss. This last point is particularly useful to me in that it provides guidance as to how I should expect my 13 year old sister to react and how I can help ensure that she continues to grow up feeling loved, secure and well-cared for. Hope, thank you for writing such an important book.
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5.0 out of 5 stars LOSING A MOTHER IS LIKE LOSING A PART OF YOURSELF, March 15 2001
By 
Sandra D. Peters "Seagull Books" (Prince Edward Island, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
My mother passed away over twenty years ago when I was in my early thirties. She never lived to see me receive my university diploma. She was not here to comfort me through the break up of my first marriage, nor was she here to meet the wonderful, kind loving man who now shares my life. She did not live long enough to know of the birth of her youngest granddaughter or to see what a beautiful young lady she turned out to be. Still, I believe she sees all of this and part of her remains with me each and every day. The loss of a mother, no matter how or when, is a memory that stays with us throughout the years.
This book may evoke the pain of losing, but there is also a sense of inspiration and hope found here. For everything we take with us in this world, there is something we leave behind, and the legacy our mothers leave us is not just about loss; it is about making each moment of each day count, about being independent, and through the trials and tribulations of loss, making you a stronger person. The author has researched this topic well, and I would highly recommend "Motherless Daughters" to any daughter who has lost a mother, either through death or separation.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent treatment of a very personal situation, Nov. 8 2000
I lost my mother when I was just 13 years old and although it's been 16 years, I still feel the loss every day. Like the author, I had an overwhelming sense of grief in my mid-twenties. I mean it was like I was newly bereaved again. I would come home and cry. Or I would dream about her for consecutive nights. I am so glad that Ms. Edelmen took on this topic. Intellectually, I knew that I wasn't alone, but I am the only one in my immediate circle of friends whose mother is deceased so that makes for awkward moments on Mother's day and other holidays. Of course the sympathetic ones want to be a sort of replacement, but that's not what I want. I want my actual mother, my nurturer and my friend. It's so hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced this loss, especially since I am an adult now. I remember that shortly after mom passed some callous relative actually had the nerve to tell me, "Life goes on." As if I didn't know that already. As if it were that simple.
Thank you Hope, for helping us motherless daughters understand that the impact of this loss can be lifelong. I've long suspected that the absence of my mother has affected my intimate relationships and even my relationships with other females. It's one thing to feel something intuitively and quite another to see that someone else has not only felt that same way, but has researched it. I'm still reading this book, but I felt so strongly about it that offer up my heartfelt thanks right now. This book is a blessing, and not just for daughter whose mothers are deceased. Hope also addresses women who have been abandoned ny their mothers and those who have never known their mothers.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Helps with Healing, July 27 2000
I lost my mother to cancer when I was sixteen years old. When I went back to school after the funeral, I think I did what alot of girls do, I acted like I was fine, because I didn't want anyone to know what was going on inside of me. This lasted for a couple of years, and during my first year of college, my father bought me this book. I kept it unread in a drawer for a long time, I didn't want to deal with my moms death. She was my best friend, and I couldn't accept that she was gone. Finally, I picked up the book and began to read. I was only a few pages in, when I began to cry like I hadn't since the night she died. It was hard for me to read the book, but I did, a few pages at a time, over a couple of weeks. I never realized that while other girls lose their mother under different circumstances, there are still things that are similar, and bind all of we "motherless daughters" together. This book helped in ways I can't even begin to describe. It gave me someone to relate to (none of my friends had ever lost a parent). I highly recommend this book to anyone who has lost their mother, no matter how old you were, or how long ago it happened. It helped me face my pain, and work through it, like nothing else could. I know it is difficult to deal with, but Hope Edelman's book really helps make a tragic situation, a bit easier to cope with.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Find yourself in this book: An affirmation of your loss, July 7 2000
I don't know if Hope Edleman could ever really fathom the good she has done through writing this book, and how she has brought such beautiful purpose and meaning to her profound loss. What an amazing tribute to her mom. ---------- I was 11 years old when my mother, Linda, died suddenly from a brain aneurism. She was only 45 years old. Not a day in my life has passed that I don't miss her immensely. At the age of 18, a week before my high school graduation, I found myself grieving for my mom more than ever. I was watching morning tv as I was preparing for school and saw Ms. Edleman discussing this book and I knew that I was meant to read it.
I can hardly put into words just how powerful Motherless Daughters has been in my own efforts to cope with life after losing the most important woman in it. Motherless Daughters is the closest written expression you will find of understanding the depth and breadth of the loss of a mother. I was amazed to read about the experiences of others with similar and even unsimilar circumstances and discover how much I shared with them in their feelings of loss. Feelings you may not have even experienced consciously are brought to light and put into words when you never knew it could be. You will find yourself in this book time and time again.
Motherless Daughters has an extraordinary way of affirming the reader and bringing comfort to the child that continues to grieve within, no matter how many years you have lived without her. The daughter learns that contrary to societal's response to the death of her mom, that it is so natural for her to continue grieving for her. This realization meant so much to me as I still deal with the impact of my mom's death. I am 23 and 12 years have passed since, yet I still often find the emptiness of losing her overwhelming.
My book is now tattered and worn from all the marking of pages and underlining and loaning out to people I knew could benefit from reading it. So many of my friends that have lost their moms have bought their own. Just reading it was not enough. I completely understand. I have read and reread my own copy several times and each time, it has new meaning to me.
I don't necessarily recommend giving this book to someone who has just recently lost their mom, however. Its purpose really serves best after some time has passed. Not to mention, I think to give this book to a daughter some months or even years after the loss helps her to remember that you empathize with the loss she still feels though it may go unspoken, and most importantly, you have not forgotten her mother's life. That's the best gift of all.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Find yourself in this book: An affirmation of your loss, July 7 2000
I don't know if Hope Edleman could ever really fathom the good she has done through writing this book, and how she has brought such beautiful purpose and meaning to her profound loss. What an amazing tribute to her mom. ---------- I was 11 years old when my mother, Linda, died suddenly from a brain aneurism. She was only 45 years old. Not a day in my life has passed that I don't miss her immensely. At the age of 18, a week before my high school graduation, I found myself grieving for my mom more than ever. I was watching morning tv as I was preparing for school and saw Ms. Edleman discussing this book and I knew that I was meant to read it.
I can hardly put into words just how powerful Motherless Daughters has been in my own efforts to cope with life after losing the most important woman in it. Motherless Daughters is the closest written expression you will find of understanding the depth and breadth of the loss of a mother. I was amazed to read about the experiences of others with similar and even unsimilar circumstances and discover how much I shared with them in their feelings of loss. Feelings you may not have even experienced consciously are brought to light and put into words when you never knew it could be. You will find yourself in this book time and time again.
Motherless Daughters has an extraordinary way of affirming the reader and bringing comfort to the child that continues to grieve within, no matter how many years you have lived without her. The daughter learns that contrary to societal's response to the death of her mom, that it is so natural for her to continue grieving for her. This realization meant so much to me as I still deal with the impact of my mom's death. I am 23 and 12 years have passed since, yet I still often find the emptiness of losing her overwhelming.
My book is now tattered and worn from all the marking of pages and underlining and loaning out to people I knew could benefit from reading it. So many of my friends that have lost their moms have bought their own. Just reading it was not enough. I completely understand. I have read and reread my own copy several times and each time, it has new meaning to me.
I don't necessarily recommend giving this book to someone who has just recently lost their mom, however. Its purpose really serves best after some time has passed. Not to mention, I think to give this book to a daughter some months or even years after the loss helps her to remember that you empathize with the loss she still feels though it may go unspoken, and most importantly, you have not forgotten her mother's life. That's the best gift of all.
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Motherless Daughters: The Legacy Of Loss
Motherless Daughters: The Legacy Of Loss by Hope Edelman (Hardcover - May 19 1994)
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