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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Thoughtful book that will make your life more enjoyable,
Dr. P.M. Forni, a professor who teaches civility and Italian
literature at Johns Hopkins University . . . it is a little but
thoughtful book that I strongly recommend to anybody looking to
make life both easier and more enjoyable . . . we all find ourselves surrounded by those we perceive as inconsiderate (never us,of course!) . . . but how can we manage to live with such people?
Forni presents lots of useful examples, as well as advice,
While all these might seem basic, in reality, they
There were many memorable passages; among them:
A colleague tells me over the telephone that she went to Florida for a vacation. Instead of asking her how her vacation was, I hasten to tell her how I feel about Florida. I quickly add what I like to do when I am there. And finally, I break the fascinating news that I was there two years ago, didn't go last winter, but hope to return the next. The result: my colleague's
It's Saturday morning and you are not planning
And, lastly, with respect to how long a visit should be,
4.0 out of 5 stars A Refresher Course We All Can Use,
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct (Paperback)Dr. Pier Forni is a Professor at Johns Hopkins University who lectures on civility, conducts civility workshops and is the driving force behind his university's Civility Project. In Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct, the author condenses much of his learning on this important subject at a time when information is moving faster, much of our interaction is electronic and no longer face to face and economic and social pressures make convenient excuses for forgetting to be polite and considerate of others. He begins with a discussion of what civility means, noting its connection to ethics and how it is at the foundation of good citizenship.
Many of the 25 rules should be fundamental for all of us. They are a throwback to simple lessons which we ought to have learned as children. Things like speaking kindly of others, avoiding gossip and making an effort to include others are examined in light of the norms of the modern world. Some of the other rules relate to what we do with our bodies, including basic hygiene and respecting the personal space of others. The author provides us with a good discussion about respecting the boundaries of others, and of examining our requests and demands on others. He reminds us that civility is something we should carry with us into our workplace, on the road as drivers, when we travel, when we are guests of others and in a variety of other aspects of our lives. It was also a nice inclusion to see the author address the role of civility in the way that we treat our pets and our environment.
While one may jump to the conclusion that a faster paced world results in a less civil one, the author reminds us that there are many ways in which our society has shown significant advances in civility, including in our sensitivity to minorities and our attitudes towards gender equality. He notes that there are still many areas for improvement. He cites the conduct of parents at children's sporting events as one glaring example.
This book is a worthwhile reminder for all of us about what civility means and about how we can all contribute to make it a more civil world. Gandhi said that we should be the change we want to see in the world, and if we wish to live in a more civil world, Dr. Forni provides us with a concise but excellent manual for how to bring about that change.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good Manners are Productive,
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Civility is Strength! Choose it!,
P.M. Forni's small but mighty new reference, Choosing Civility, is the only book I can recommend to all readers. And if readers are open to his insights and willing to do things differently to improve their relationships at home and at work, Choosing Civility may be the only book they'll ever need.
Forni has produced a book that is at once smart yet accessible to a wide audience. It is full of concrete examples and personal anecdotes, and it is written in a warm, engaging tone that is usually impossible for academics to achieve.
Though it will eventually appear effortless, civility requires work - conscious effort guided by vision and perseverance. We "make" nice after all, but the practice of civility, as Forni's well-sourced text reveals, is the royal road to health and happiness. Not only is civility the path to personal contentment and connection, but it's good for business too. Often, nice guys do finish first.
We have been led astray into thinking that it is somehow more honest to be in touch with our feelings and blurt out whatever comes to mind to whomever we encounter rather than seeing training in etiquette as being training in sensitivity. Civility encourages strength and assertiveness, and it helps us find the tools to say the right thing at the right time to the right person, not everything to anyone. Civility will help people speak freely, not intemperately or abusively.
Choosing Civility offers many valuable relationship management strategies. Everything about relationships, in psychotherapy and beyond, is knowable. Choosing Civility is the ideal companion while we risk reaching out to our preferred visions of the future and ourselves.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Working towards a civil society,
PM Forni's book is simple and straightforward. I was worried that, because of the academic background that I found in his biography, the book might be too difficult and cerebral. Fortunately, the writing is concise and accessible; witty and fresh, so the concepts Forni puts forward are easy to understand and implement. This isn't to say, though, that the book is trivial. There is some serious research behind the writing, and the author seems to be very passionate about his subject.
Choosing Civility is a wonderful book to read, and the message is important. A definite winner!
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book on kindness,
This review is from: Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct (Paperback)I discovered this book after watching a documentary on Civility in the Workplace. Normally, I am not persuaded by ettiquette books because it feels like some ettiquette books have a competitive edge to it (i.e how to look better than others,etc.) But this book was exactly what I needed to help address the rudeness that is so pervasive in work, schools, the public,etc. It really does remind people how to be kind to one another! LOVE IT! A must read and a must keep for anyone's book collection-not to mention apply to one's life on a daily basis.
5.0 out of 5 stars another word for kindness,
This review is from: Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct (Paperback)Great read. I wish this was taught in grade schools. I saw the author on Oprah and was very impressed with this man. I have put choosing civility in motion in my life and I feel more at peace than ever before. It is a practice worth doing if you wish a more productive and certainly a more peacefull life. All my relationships have improved dramatically. I highly recommend this book.
4.0 out of 5 stars A Good Book, but Needs More on Dealing with Incivility,
Forni also comments on different aspects of civility: why is it in such short supply? He hits the nail on the head: we all "live among strangers." Incivility is much safer when we are dishing out rudeness to someone we do not know. Indeed, if we know someone, it may stop our rudeness in our tracks (as Forni conveys in an amusing way).
All that said, I hope the book comes out in a second edition, with the following improvements:
* Dr. Forni's text occassionally sounds too eriudite and scholarly. Much of the book avoids this textbookish tone, but not all. I am sure Forni would readily agree we want as many people as possible from all walks of life to pick up this book and read it cover to cover!
* The book is strong on how to be civil, but light on advice on how to deal with incivility. (Sadly, the clods out there who desperately NEED to read this book won't.) Forni observes that one need not be a doormat with a uncivil person, but rather convey firmness in a civil way. Exactly how one can effectively convey such firmness in the face of uncivilized behavior is not sufficiently answered in this book.
All in all, Forni fills a gaping void by addressing the issue of incivility in our society. As Forni states, good manners make for better quality lives. For that reason alone, anyone should be willing to give civility a chance.
5.0 out of 5 stars SHOULD BE TAUGHT IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS,
By A Customer
I can't say enough great things about this book.
Definitely read it and give it to your friends, family, and coworkers to read!!
5.0 out of 5 stars a fresh read on a timely social subject,
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Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct by P.M. Forni (Paperback - Nov. 8 2003)
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