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29 of 32 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Parent by their principles, not all the details
I'm a full-time working mom of a 2.5 year old, incredible boy.
Initially when I read Sears my reaction was that to be a good parent I would have to quit working, spend my whole day breastfeeding and wearing my baby and never get a solid's night sleep again. (And, I've have to grind my own wheat, grow my organic vegetables and move to an unpolluted island...well, not...
Published on June 28 2004 by Nina Abbott

versus
3.0 out of 5 stars A crying child might be tired.
My husband and I picked up our son anytime he sniffled. I breastfeed him until he was over 2 (on demand until 19 months) and let him sleep with us. It's embarrassing, but my son had the biggest sleep problems of any child I knew. Somehow, from only reading this book, I thought that he would sleep whenever he needed to. (Especially if we were carrying him or soothing him,...
Published 13 months ago by Karen Johnson


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29 of 32 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Parent by their principles, not all the details, June 28 2004
By 
Nina Abbott "Nina" (Chicago, IL United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Paperback)
I'm a full-time working mom of a 2.5 year old, incredible boy.
Initially when I read Sears my reaction was that to be a good parent I would have to quit working, spend my whole day breastfeeding and wearing my baby and never get a solid's night sleep again. (And, I've have to grind my own wheat, grow my organic vegetables and move to an unpolluted island...well, not quite, but that seemed to be the general drift.)
But, what the Sear's approach or Attachment Parenting approach to me comes down to this:
Know your baby.
Respond to your baby's cues.
Understand that your baby isn't a mini-adult who just happens to live in a diaper. Understand that your child comes with his own personality and developmental timetable. Understand that when he cries he needs you. Understand that cuddling, holding, touching your baby is good for him and is not "spoiling" him. Understand that being given a brand new soul to nurture can be exhausting, but that everything you do which demonstrates empathy will come back to you 10 fold in the bond you will have with your child.
I do wish that the AP "movement" was less associated with "crunchy granola" types of parents. AP (and the Sears as the best known proponents) is really doing what comes naturally: We are hardwired to pick up our babies and care for them when they cry. We are hardwired to feel the intense desire to protect them from discomfort. This isn't a "movement" this is how we are made, and Mother (and Father) Nature are brillant!
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19 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars WOHM who supplemented with formula loves this book, March 16 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Paperback)
I think this book is full of very interesting and useful advice. Granted, I took the advice that applied to my situation and left the rest behind. I can't understand why some reviewers seem to think that they can only recommend books that completely agree with their views.
Unfortunately, I didn't buy this book until after my first child was born and I was having problems breastfeeding and getting him to sleep in his crib (and getting no rest myself in the process). I believe that if I had I read this book before my son was born, I would have had a much easier first couple of months. I used much of the advice in the book when my daughter was born and can say that her infancy brought us much more enjoyment and relaxation.
Yes, Dr. Sears is a breastfeeding, cosleeping, and attachment parenting advocate, but I consider him in expert in these areas. I much preferred the helpful breastfeeding advice in this book to the damaging breastfeeding advice I found in the What to Expect books. I welcomed Dr. Sears' comments that letting my child sleep with me wouldn't cause the psychological harm and bad habits that the What to Expect books lectured me about.
No, I'm not an attachment parent or a stay-at-home mom. I've used more formula than I'd like to admit. However, I found this book useful and informative and not at all "preachy."
I've given this book to several expectant mothers and have always been sincerely thanked.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A FABULOUS baby book--the only one you'll need!, Feb. 24 2004
By 
Lisa Manske "natural mamma" (Wauwatosa, WI USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Paperback)
I was quite skeptical of reading the series of parenting books by the Sears, as "shared sleep" was so foreign to me. But, having read this and a few of their other books, I am now thoroughly convinced that attachment parenting is a wonderful, beautiful, low-stress way to raise children.
This book covers EVERYTHING you need to know about taking care of an infant, including day-to-day things like bathing, feeding, burping, to major and minor medical situatations. My husband and I find this book very reassuring when, in the middle of the night, our newborn is acting strange or when we get lots of unasked for advice and we second-guess our parenting.
Frankly, I don't understand the criticism that says that the Sears preach an all-or-nothing method that makes parents feel guilty. The Sears do promote attachment parenting but they don't believe that "sharing sleep" is necessry for every family. They specifically write that each family is different and has to find what works best for them. There is an extensive section on how to continue breastfeeding if you are going back to work and how to make formula feeding a positive experience, if you feed with formula.
Give this book a read and form your own opinion. I am so glad that I did!
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Truth..., June 8 2004
This review is from: The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Paperback)
Mothers, Mothers, Mothers ...we need to stop being critical of one another. I was appalled at some of the negative reviews I read for this book. If you do not agree about something fine, but women need to support one another in mothering. I feel Dr. Sears did an excellent job of providing that support. The information is excellent and beneficial for our babies. Note: babies do not come into this world with an instruction manual. It is our duty as mothers to follow our own instincts and wisdom.
The negative reviews brought up guilt alot. Let me ask you something...Do you feel guilty when you don't use a car seat? Guilty if you smoke in the house? Guilty if you drank while pregnant? Sometimes guilt is a good thing.
If we are honest, truely honest with ourselves, we can use that as an indicator of what is not working. Go with what is in your heart...if it doesn't feel right, it's probably not. And what about baby?... If they could choose how they would be mothered what would THEY choose?
Listen to your baby, listen to your heart. Let that determine your parenting...it is priceless.
A wonderful book on parenting for both mothers and fathers is
LET THE BABY DRIVE...Navigating the road of new motherhood by
Lu Hanessian. A powerful book for ALL MOTHERS!!! NO GUILT TO BE FOUND!!!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Initially wary, but my fears were wrong, Feb. 9 2004
By 
Avid Reader (Cambridge, MA United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Paperback)
If you are attracted to the child-centered basics of Attachment Parenting: babywearing in slings, a shared family bed and lots and lots of bonding to produce independent, happy, trusting children--then this is the book for you. It is very comprehensive (and LARGE!), so you don't need to buy separate books on health & medicine, breastfeeding, developmentally appropriate toys, etc. This will get you through age 2, at which point you probably don't need to be consulting books.
I almost didn't buy this book, based on the negative review I read from the reader from Stockton, California. He stated that in this book, "my role in the care and rearing of my child is relegated to being secondary to that of my wife's." That scared me! I didn't want this to be the model my husband and I use raising our children. But I gave this book a thorough read (the latest edition--maybe this reviewer read an older one?) and found his claim to be completely wrong. Over and over, Dr. Sears and Martha Sears discuss the roles that fathers can play in their children's lives. A couple typical samples besides entire sections entitled, "Attachment Parenting Includes Fathers," "Bonding After Cesarean Births: For the Father" and, "For Fathers Only" in their Postpartum Family Adjustments chapter, among others:
Page 44: "studies on father bonding show that fathers who are given the opportunity and are encouraged to to take an active part in caring for their newborns can become just as nurturing as mothers."
Page 94: "For dads who are novices at caring for babies, massage is a hands-on course in baby handling. Also, it's important for baby to get used to dad's touch as well as mom's. Babies thrive on different strokes."
Dr. Sears also gives some man-to-man advice on sex after childbirth and instructions on an especially comfy sling position just for dads called the "neck nestle." He even writes (page 293), "I felt a real high the first time I put Stephen in the neck nestle and snuggled him securely against my chest for a walk. As we strolled together, I felt a sense of completeness. Sometimes I wore him for hours at a time."
Additionally, we find out from the text that Martha is active in her career as a lactation consultant and R.N. in the family pediatrics office, and that Dr. Sears writes his books from home, common practices that modern parents employ to balance work and family. There is even an entire chapter entitled, "Working and Parenting." This is a child-centered philosophy, so it follows that cutting back on work hours or working from home, if possible, are encouraged. They DO have 8 kids, which makes them definitely not mainstream America (!), but their claim that this makes them baby experts is pretty convincing. They share really practical tips, especially regarding feeding active toddlers and all sorts of medical information that you definitely want to know when (or before) something is wrong with your child. Special sections address topics like adopting kids (the Sears family includes an adopted daughter) and parenting disabled kids (they also have a son born with Down Syndrome).
My only criticism of this book would be that it might be awkward for me to read this as a single mother; the authors don't seem to be adept at understanding the circumstances of this situation beyond expressing sympathy and suggesting father substitutes.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars this book opened my eyes, July 5 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Paperback)
I am sadened by the defensiveness I see in the negative reviews. One person actually got offended that he is an advocate of breast feeding. NEWS FLASH: It is better! (Unless there is a medical reason not too.)
This book introduced concepts that were foreign to me and we are using what works for our family. For example co-sleeping works for us. But I can see it not working for all. Bottom line: cut the defensiveness and negativity and do what is best for your child and family and there will be no regrets.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Wonderful Book, March 1 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Paperback)
This book is more than awesome-- it is the way everyone should parent. I have four children and have been an AP parent before I even known there was a name for it. It saddens me that some would give this book terrible reviews, but shows what selfish parents ones can be. Yeah, don't co-sleep because you want to think of yourself, but not what is best for your baby. I am reading some of these reviews and I am SICK. Sick of people having kids and not doing what is best for their babies because they want to stay mainstream and stay SELFISH. Idiots!
This book is wonderful and I'm so thankful for Dr. Sears and Martha for writing such a wonderful book for parents. I buy it for all expectant parents.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Good book, Nov. 28 2013
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This review is from: The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Paperback)
I would say, this is a must book before or after you have your first one. And the attach parenting works! I test it on my two children. they are so warm-hearted, easy going, and have sympathy for the others. I said, it is a good gift for baby shower.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Very Good, July 15 2013
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Paperback)
Gives fantastic biological facts about the baby, mother and the relation between them. I might need another book for parenting though ..
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3.0 out of 5 stars A crying child might be tired., March 23 2013
This review is from: The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Paperback)
My husband and I picked up our son anytime he sniffled. I breastfeed him until he was over 2 (on demand until 19 months) and let him sleep with us. It's embarrassing, but my son had the biggest sleep problems of any child I knew. Somehow, from only reading this book, I thought that he would sleep whenever he needed to. (Especially if we were carrying him or soothing him, etc.) Did I read this wrong? The problem, I think, was that all of the rocking and holding during his sleep times got him used to sleeping in motion so he would scream uncontrollably if we put him down to sleep. He was tired and starting to get aggressive and crying lots during the day.

In the end, we used the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. But motionless sleep (i.e. hold him when awake but down to sleep) and developing an organized and age-appropriate rrhythm to the day has helped my son and my new daughter go to bed with no problems. The trick is in the timing — if I time it right then my daughter falls to sleep smiling. Both of them are very, very happy kids. I always get compliments on how smiley they are.

With the crying it out debate, I always worried about causing my children emotional problems versus causing sleep deprivation problems. If we can get the motionless sleep and routines right then maybe we can prevent both.

Just my two cents worth. I know that we are all trying to do our best out of love for our children. Take heart.
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