Customer Reviews

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby

5 star:		(161)
4 star:		(55)
3 star:		(31)
2 star:		(41)
1 star:		(94)

 

 

Tracy Hogg claims this is a middle of the road approach. It isn't. As a parent and as a licensed marriage and family therapist, I have read most of the parenting books on the market. This book isn't much different from all of the other sleep training books out there. It is obvious it is written from the perspective of a babysitter rather than a medical doctor or psychologist. Her change a "bad" habit in three days is ridiculous and oversimplified. Yes, you can change a behavior if you are ruthless enough about it, but that doesn't mean you should. Picking up the baby and putting them back down repeatedly as she recommends might make you feel like you are doing something rather than just leaving them there to cry, but you aren't meeting the babies need for closeness. In one example she explains that in one night she picked up and put a baby down 172 times (when he cried, she picked him up and as soon as he stopped she put him down), how frustrating for this poor baby who was trying to communicate a need that went unmet. After several days, the baby gave up and didn't cry in his crib anymore. She cites this as an example of how great her training program is. Babies are people with needs. I met a family recently who used this approach and their baby responded to this program like a trained pup. She was complacent and passive. She slept through the night without a peep and from 8:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. Her daily routines involved videos, bottles, and crib-time with a bunch of pacifiers. No rocking, no lullabyes, definitely no nursing. It definitely was easy as her "E.A.S.Y." program implies. But, this kind of approach has negative long term effects. The mother said that the approach is great because her child doesn't have to "waste energy communicating her needs" because they tell her what she needs. This is a big premise of this book. I found this very sad. Children need to learn to identify their needs, communicate their needs, and have those needs met. In this process they learn to communicate and have healthy trusting relationships with others. These sleep training programs are based on behavioral psychological theories. The problem with this is that these approaches are more appropriate for animals, which is how these theories developed, and can be used for older children and adults for certain problems. But it is completely developmentally inappropriate to use these behavior modification approaches with human infants. The first 12 to 18 months of life the primary task of a human infant is to learn to trust. Books like this make the routine more important than the relationship. This causes significant long term relationship problems that the child will struggle with in the years to come. I see this every day in my practice-problems with intimacy and materialism, attaching and finding comfort in objects continuing later in life- the bottle, pacifier, and blankie become the cigarette, the alcoholic drink, the compulsive shopping, the compulsive eating, etc tomorrow. Of course the occasional use of a pacifier or bottle when mom isn't available is handy, but overrelying on mother substitutes as Tracy recommends is not good for your child. If you want to learn more about child development, go right to the source and study Winnicott, Kohut and Bowlby. Or if you want to read a book marketed to parents the only author I can recommend who is consistent with developmental needs is Dr. Sears.

This book had me in tears and feelng like a terrible mom. I'd seriously like this woman to come over here and try to put MY baby on her supposedly "EASY" program. Maybe it works for those babies she describes as "Angel" and "Textbook" babies, but it sure didn't work for my "Spirited" baby (by the way, if you don't like labels or generalizations, stay away from this book).

The chapter on sleep would be ridiculous if it weren't so frustrating, as with the chapter on how one can (supposedly) change any bad habits in three days. In her own description of solving one family's sleep problems, she boasts of how she picked the child up and put him back down again in his crib FORTY-THREE TIMES. Oh sure, that worked great. The next night they only did it twenty times! By the way, she--the baby nurse--was doing this while the parents were getting their full night's sleep.
Unfortunately, I don't have $200.00+/day to spend on a baby nurse. I would have to go without sleep that first night, almost no sleep that second night, and by the third night I'd be declared legally insane (that is, of course, provided I didn't hang myself from the rafters by the 38th repetition).

This book would get no stars if it weren't for the moderately helpful charts to help identify your baby's cries.

Verdict? Great if you're looking for a book to help you choose a baby nurse, or if your baby is a Textbook child....completely impractical iif you're like the rest of us.

The EASY plan has actually worked quite well for my 10 week old son, so far. I think, perhaps, this is because he tends to get hungry every three hours, so the routine fits in with what he would normally do anyway.

What I really could not bear is Hogg's tone. She uses some of the most patronizing language I've read in any parenting book (i.e. "that dreadful swing"). Her anecdotes seemed contrived, if not completely fictional. They're more self-congratulatory than anything else, allowing her to demonstrate time and again that these poor lost parents would simply continue down the road to domestic failure if she hadn't appeared.

A friend had recommended "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp and I found this truly essential in calming the baby during his first weeks. To his her own, I guess...but I can't recommend Hogg...too much ego.

This book came highly reccommended by a friend but I was extremely disappointed. I am a child and adolescent psychiatrist, as well as a parent of a wonderful two-year old boy. I liked some of her ideas but for the most part I felt that the writer failed to take into account different temperaments', styles' of parents and children and instead focussed on her routinized plan as a caregiver (and not as a parent).

After seeing Tracey Hogg on Dateline I recommended her book to my friend, a new mother who'd been having trouble getting her baby to sleep. We found this book simplistic and superficial, not helpful at all. We were also disappointed that Hogg's only reference to circumcision was her advise on caring for the wounded penis. For someone who claims to be so sensitive to babies feelings and an advocate for children, we found her to be neither. Save your money. If you must satisfy your curiosity go to the library, or the used book store where it's certain to be available soon at a dramatically reduced price.

Okay. I am not the type of person to write a book review. You all know the phrase about opinions; however, this book really got under my skin.

I caught part of an interview with Tracy Hogg on TV and I was intrigued by the idea of knowing your baby's cries. My son was 5 months old and though I had a pretty good handle on things I am always open to new information. This book was a real let down.

First of all, this book is really geared for a newborn. Many of her practices just won't work on a 5 month old. For example, her soothing method for sleep and crying just didn't work with my son at all.

Second, the section on the cries is so vague that you can't really identify which cry is which. I happened to hear her do a couple during her interview and those are the only two that I could identify.

Third, her information breastfeeding and solid foods isn't up to snuff. She states that breast/bottle confusion is a myth. This is soley her opinion and is incorrect. I lived through it and can tell you first hand that it is real. My advice is no bottles or pacifiers until nursing is well established, but no later than six weeks. Also, she makes it seem like breastfeeding's popularity is simply a trend and doesn't even metion the enormous health benefits. Though it is a personal decision, its benefits are no secret. She lost all her credibility by poo pooing th whole thing. Her recommendations for solid foods are equally uninformed.

It seems like Tracy needed to cover too many subjects to make a book of it. As a result, you get very little about a whole lot...

This book had a couple helpful things in it, but overall I was annoyed by her lack of objectivity (while pretending like she was presenting an unbias view). And I did find her tone condescending. I have had a lot of sleepless nights in the past 6 weeks which has given me a great opportunity to fly through baby care books. I have to say that I lean toward books written by doctors or sleep researchers that back up their suggestions with actual data and research. I am a total sucker for science and long bibliographies, and that is what I did not find in this book- just opinion. And sure her opinion will work fine for some babies, but some of her methods are potentially harmful (see other reviews for details). I found her E.A.S.Y. program to be meaningless- Eat Activity Sleep You- whatever! She kept referring to it like it was the meaning of life.
I find it quite amusing that she appropriated the "the ABC's of operant conditioning". She calls it her the "ABCs of Changing Bad Habits". I would have respected her more if she had admitted this was borrowed from learning theory and behavioral psychology instead of pretending like she invented it. She uses the same terms (Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence), but she totally misinterprets how it works. Instead of the common behavioral wisdom (change the consequence to change the behavior- brought to us courtesy of Skinner 50+ years ago and still valid), she says "Change the behavior to change the consequence". But how do you introduce a new behavior? She doesn't touch on that- her ABCs make no sense and just confirmed for me what I had suspected- that she skimmed books instead of doing real research.

I'm a maternity nurse, and I bought this book on the advice of a colleague. Being an inexperienced new mom, I tried to follow Hogg's advice for developing a flexible routine for my newborn. Instead of enjoying my son's first weeks, I agonized over the fact that he just didn't seem to eat/play/sleep according to her timetable. Plain and simple, if you breastfeed, and feed on cue (which is necessary for milk production and for baby to thrive), then it is unlikely that your baby will fit the mould outlined by Hogg. Her breastfeeding information is totally wrong and outdated. I'm no "breastfeeding Nazi" as some of the reviewers have complained about, but the truth is, there are actually RISKS associated with formula, none of which Hogg mentions. (I won't elaborate, the advantages of breastmilk and the risks of artificial feeding are well known and well documented, a fact that seems to be lost to Ms. Hogg).

This is a good book if you are looking for an excuse not to breastfeed and not to feel guilty about it. This is a good book if you don't want the inconvenience of "parenting" your baby to sleep. This is a good book if holding and carrying your baby just because he wants it isn't something that you have time for. This is a good book if you find that parenting is just a little too inconvenient and time consuming. This is a good book if a good night's sleep is more important to you than bonding with your newborn. This is a good book if, instead of cuddling your baby, you'd rather preoccupy yourself with charting and plotting every feeding, wet diaper and bowel movement. This is a terrific book if you want to learn how to train a pet.

I hate the fact that this woman made money off of me. I won't even give the book away, for fear that someone might just follow her advice. I gave up trying to follow her methods after a few weeks, read some other books by Dr. Sears and Elizabeth Pantley, and contacted La Leche League,the real experts, who by the way, Hogg portrays as a group who profits from promoting breastfeeding.

Hogg is condascending and treats new parents as total idiots, and leads them to mistrust their instincts. Parenting is never easy, but babies will, with time, fall into a routine. Don't waste your time in reading this book, instead, cuddle your baby, let him fall asleep in your arms while you bury your nose in his fat this little neck and smell his downy hair. Carry him around just because you want to. Savour every second, it goes so fast. Memories of sleep deprivation will fade, but the memories of the closeness you share with your baby will last forever.

This book is too short to be the "word" on parenting; especially on getting your child to sleep through the night. Some ideas sound good but they are not developed thoroughly. I found the book to be very impractical after my daughter arrived. For now on I am sticking with the advise of my doctor, The American Academy of Pediatrics and Dr. Sears.

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer is an okay read. It presents the "eat, wake, sleep" routine that many people use (i.e., a baby eats, then has some awake time, and then sleeps -- instead of the baby relying on the eating to fall asleep). And it explains how to watch for a baby's signs of sleepiness. For these general discussions, this book is okay. So read it if a friend gives it to you, but I wouldn't recommend buying it.

I find it ironic that a book which seems to promote positive interaction between parent and child in fact does the exact opposite. Instead of promoting connecting, usually accomplished by snuggling and soothing a newborn, Hogg presents a very austere approach. She explains that most "bad habits" are caused by parents rocking or swaying their children to sleep, allowing a baby to fall asleep on a parent's chest, and other things that most parents do with a newborn. Her approach is for a baby, even at one day old, to learn to fall asleep unassisted, motionless, in his own crib. Now, I certainly agree with the importance of a baby learning to fall asleep unassisted and developing healthy sleep habits (I highly recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child), but most experts explain that a newborn under 6-8 weeks old doesn't have the ability to do so. A newborn a few days or weeks old wants to be cuddled, to feel warm and safe against a parent's chest, to hear his mother's heartbeat, and to feel the rhythmic movements he became used to inside the womb. I simply don't understand how it helps to "calm, connect, and to communicate with your baby" by not cuddling, rocking, or even holding your baby. Especially for the first few weeks, after that it's important to promote some independence, but not before it's time.

So read the book if you have it, but do not expect it to be a manual on baby's behavior or sleep. Instead, buy a book written by a doctor, a sleep expert.