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3.1 out of 5 stars
Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy
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165 of 175 people found the following review helpful
If I could sum up this reading experience in one sentence it would be: "It's like reading Berenstain Bears with a sadomasochistic twist."
The thing that will turn most readers off isn't her limited vocabulary, it's the repetition of words/phrases that she's confined herself to.

"Holy crap." This is mentioned about 23 in the first three chapters.

"He cocked his head." One time, this is used three times on the same page. If he cocked his head anymore, it would snap off.

"Dios mio!" Her knowledge of other languages is frightful - and overused.

All this mixed with a writing level aimed at young adults made it really hard for me to finish this book. At the start of the novel, she thanks about 5 people who contributed to the book. Did none of them tell her that it was like reading a children's book?
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242 of 260 people found the following review helpful
on May 9, 2012
I obtained this book under the advice of someone who just raved about it and told me how it was such a hot seller. After having read through 88% of, I just had to stop and question the sanity of the person who advised me to get this nonsense of a book. To say that this book was disappointing is a gross understatement. I went into this anticipating a nice little steamy/erotic book (the word "porn" was actually used when the book was recommended to me)that I could let myself be absorbed in for a brief time. What I ended up getting was not only an insult to those within the BDSM community but an insult to any adult reader. Many people have commented on how it seems like this novel, nay series, was written by a couple of teenage girls that sat down and decided to write some steamy books. I agree with that sentiment, except I'm not so sure even teenagers would write this badly. All the author seems to do is repeat the same thing over and over again throughout the entire book when it comes to gestures and expressions. I didn't bother doing an actual count, but several other reviewers have actually taken the time to count up how many times the author uses the same exclamations again and again. Still, if it were only this repetitiveness I could almost forgive the author and allow my immagination to pick up where the lack of writing left off.

Unfortunately, the repetitiveness is only the tip of the iceburg here. To be blunt, the characters have absolutely zero depth, and the attempts at depth make absolutely no sense whatsoever. The plot just drags you along kicking and screaming, and not in any kind of a good way. I deffinately got the sense early on that this author A) Looooooooves product placement, which has me wondering just who is signing her checks, and B)Has absolutely no idea how to properly write about the very products she's placing in the story. On what planet is this woman living on where the main character recieves an Apple Macbook Pro laptop that has 1 TERABYTE of hard drive space, 32 GIGABYTES of RAM, and an integrated SIM card/transmitter (that last part isn't actually said but when the delivery guy says she can use the laptop anywhere in the world it's pretty much a given). Add that to all of her references to Blackberry and Audi and you can practically see the company logos plastered all over the front of her book like a NASCAR racer.

I would also love to know where she got her reference material from in regard to the BDSM material. Other than the very basic fact that there is the presence of bondage, domination/submission, and physical punishment in BDSM, this author displayed that she has absolutely no idea how a BDSM relationship/partnership actually functions. The manner in which this author has the male lead "introduce" the female character is insulting to the BDSM community and the level of trust and respect that is actually present in a REAL BDSM relationship/partnership. One thing that truly stands out amongst a whole laundry list of issues that is just too long to go into is when the female character has essentially gone into "sub-space" (a euphoric state brought about by an intense release of endorphines in response to pain) during her first spanking. The author inadequately describes it as simply orgasmic and leaving the girl completely exhausted. What truly bothered me with this scene is that the male character, a supposedly experienced dominant, recognizes that his submissive has just been in "sub-space" and instead of simply holding her, keeping her warm to prevent her from going into shock, and replenishing her fluids, he tosses her onto the bed and has crazy sex with her again. The fact that this author makes the character out to be an experienced Dom and blatantly makes him anything but that is a grave insult to people actually involved in BDSM.

Honestly, I could probably write pages upon pages of material detailing just how badly written and organized this book is, how there is zero character development, how so many different aspects of the characters make absolutely no sense whatsoever, and so very much more. In the interest of saving time and page-space, I will simply make this strong reccomendation to anyone considering purchasing this book:

DON'T!!!!

If I could, I would give this book a rating of zero stars and I would seriously call into question the motivations and competence of everyone who was involved in writing, editing, publishing, and promoting this book to the level it has grown to. If this is indeed what we the public can expect to recieve when a book is touted as being wonderful by the media, then it might be best if we just stuck to the free stuff you can find all over the internet written by actually talented authors who are passed over for publishing to give hack writers like E L James tons of money and publicity for something a sixteen-year-old could have written better.
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90 of 97 people found the following review helpful
on May 25, 2012
This was quite possibly the worst thing that I've ever read - and I read a lot.

Besides being repetitive, unbelievable, and possessing characters which are absolutely and extremely annoying, the writing style in general is terrible and the story appears to be a cross between Twilight and something you would read about in the crime section of a newspaper. I didn't even make it past the mid-way point of the book before I was a myriad of emotions including disgusted and appalled that I spent my money on something so ludicrous.

From my limited reading of the story based on the fact that I couldn't even force myself (see what I did there?) to finish it, I would like to suggest that you have some self-respect and leave this one in the bookstore unless someone is paying you a lot of money to careen through repetitive drivel between an abusive stalker and the world's most naive woman. I wish that I could get the last hour of my life back and utilize it to place the trilogy in the garbage and set it on fire.
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119 of 130 people found the following review helpful
on April 3, 2012
This novel (and trilogy) is getting a lot of press and a lot of word of mouth advertising. A friend recommended it to me, so I checked it out. If you like subservient, naive, clueless women then this female protagonist is for you. If you like pushy, creepy, dominating men then this male protagonist is for you. If you enjoy graphic sex scenes set in the world of domination without the sweetness of love (stand here, don't look at me, always wear this, don't do that, you will say nothing as you are chained to the wall...) then this book is for you. If you enjoy books that are poorly written, and while I love that more and more people are reading I so wish they would stop rewarding garbage, then this book is for you. It's terrible, handsdown the worst I've read in a very very long time.
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47 of 51 people found the following review helpful
on May 15, 2012
While I understand that this book was written for a bit of fun, that still doesn't excuse the fact that the writing is absolutely terrible. I wrote better stories in high school. I was able to finish the book, but almost gave up a few times. I actually found myself having to put it down and take a break from it after a few chapters. The main character is a moron and the writer has no idea what the word 'murmur' means because she uses it way too much. The characters are completely unbelievable and shallow. I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone and really don't understand what the hype was about. There is much better erotic literature out there. Don't believe the hype - skip this book!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
on February 6, 2015
I can't believe more reviews don't emphasize the sheer amount of ABUSE in these books. Christian is not a hero or a romantic anything, he's abusive. He's not a responsible dominant in a consenting BDSM relationship, he is just ABUSIVE.
This book was not sexy, it was an insult to domestic violence victims everywhere.
When a woman says no and a man doesn't stop, that's rape.
When a man threatens a woman with violence, that's abuse.
When a man stalks you, and your family, that is beyond creepy.
When you tell a man it's over and he still won't take no for an answer? Obsessive, abusive, and creepy.
These things are happening to real women every day and they are not finding it sexy. This is scary stuff when we are letting this writer teach our daughters that abuse is romantic.
I'm not a prude. I love erotic lit. I love an assertive male hero. But there is a difference between assertive and abusive and Christian Grey crosses that line all the time.
Stay away from these books.
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70 of 77 people found the following review helpful
on May 9, 2012
I decided to read this having not a clue what it was about, just because a friend (who *normally* enjoys the same types of reads) said it was amazing and she couldn't put it down.
from now on i will always judge that friend's taste in reading and sexual preferences.
as others have already said, the writing is repetitive to the Extreme! it's literally as though E.L. James thought of 5-6 phrases and used them whenever she couldn't think of what to write next. If anyone's "Breath hitches" ever again, i'll shoot someone.
what's worse is that you would think an EROTIC novel would be exciting, right? not in the slightest. the characters are annoying, whiny, self centered and entirely unlikable. i got through about 200 pages of book 1 mostly by skipping many of the repetitive, boring and predictable encounters between 2 of the least interesting lead characters in a book EVER, and i have NO clue how a person could sit through 3 books of this writing.
Dont waste your money, go download a porn instead!
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30 of 33 people found the following review helpful
on August 10, 2012
This book makes the Twilight series looks like a masterpiece! It is so terribly written and so one dimensional. The book is basically Anastasia's "subconscious" (yeah, don't get me started on that) telling her that the relationship isn't right for her, but because he is "so hot" and he sticks himself in her whenever he gets the chance, her "inner goddess" (yeah, don't get me started on that either) won't allow her to use her brain. Now I am not a prude or bothered by the BDSM themes in the book, but I can say that these are the most boring sex scenes ever written. I actually started skimming over them because they were so repetitive and did not add anything to the story. In addition, Christian Grey is probably the most annoying character ever. He is condescending, constantly orders Anastasia to eat and stop biting her lip, he freaks out when she doesn't answer emails or calls, etc. If he was not good looking, he would never get away with any of his crap. He is not a dom. He is abusive. He is messed up and angry about his past and he takes it out on women. He likes to control women because deep down he hates them. He was also the victim of statutory rape, but he doesn't see that as a problem. The character is NOT sexy. Women should not stay with men because they constantly convince themselves that they can change them. I don't know if I can stomach reading the rest of the series. It is so bad. There are so many better erotic romance novels out there!
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20 of 22 people found the following review helpful
on July 3, 2012
I just don't understand why people seem to like this book. She's a horrible writer, uses repetive irritating phases throughout the book. How many times can this woman blush when she's just been spanked and tied up and screwed? You'd think she's lose this by the second time around. The characters are just plain silly. He's so hot and sexy and rich, yet emotionally he's just a little boy trying to find love in his empty heart. And at one point I wanted to slap her "inner goddess" silly until she wandered off into the street and got crushed by oncoming traffic. When I read that he had been seduced by an older woman and her name was Mrs. Robinson, I laughed outloud. Really? You couldn't come up with a more original name? That Mrs. Robinson really gets around. I'm just glad I bought it for my kindle so I could whip though the pages fast. I just can't help but wonder how this book got so much media hype? There are other books with better stories and steamy sex scenes (try Spice novels). She must have had the editors and publishers in her "red room" tied up to the wall without food or water until they offered her a contract. And there are two more. Let me guess, Grey is all healed because of the love of ...what was her name again? And he becomes the ideal, wonderful guy that she knows he could be. She just had to be degraded and rejected for awhile so the pay off was pretty good. And even though she is subjected to all this, why is she always crying? Boo hoo, Grey doesn't love me. Did she even read his rules he sent to her? I think in the end they make sweet, innocent love and she actually gets to touch him. And then...poof! he disappears because there couldn't possibly be a man on earth so amazing as this guy. So she spends the rest of her life with a frog. Oh, and for me, it was less than a star because I wouldn't even pass it along to a friend. Unfortunatly because of all the exposure it's getting, people are still reading it. And some are even enjoying it. Weird. Although what entertains people can be surpising. Afterall,there are tv shows about storage lockers, bad tenants, rich women fighting all the time and a guy who goes and exterminates things (too bad we couldn't call him up for this book) so, maybe people will read just about anything.

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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on August 24, 2012
This series is an exercise in speed reading. Do I really need to know how many times and how many places bodies get licked every couple of pages? I counted an 8 page speed read and I missed nothing! The mush in between is like a bad Harlequin novel. Too bad the author did not build around her character plot and tell a better story. I am glad I bought my books in Costco for $9.99 each and not $17.95. If you or any of your friends are curious about his book, and feel you must read it, share the cost, then use the books to light a nice winter fire.....................But if anyone needs a good marketing team then find out who looked after this trilogy............................ What a big, big, disappointment. I will be avoiding this author in the future.
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