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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
on March 11, 2004
As a child psychologist myself, I've been reading a large number of parenting books looking for material to suggest to families I see. While this book is not a total waste of time, and there are some (IMHO) worthwhile ideas in here, I would not recommend this book to anyone. I listened to the audiobook version, and while no prude at all, I did find the use of vulgarity excessive. Apparently the author assumes teens all swear like linebackers around their parents. While I know they have a colorful vocabulary, many use discretion regarding when they use it, and his presentation made it appear this is the norm and not to be too concerned about it. After 15 years in practice I can count on one hand the numbers of teens who have cursed in my office without immediately catching themselves and apologizing.
Second, I find his stance on many issues to be rather passive and unnecessarily so. While I always advise parents to choose their battles, and certainly am aware that total control is neither possible nor recommended, I found this approach to be a bit too much of the 'shrug you shoulders...what can you do' ilk. There are worse parenting books out there, but there are better as well.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on December 13, 2002
This is the best how-to-parent-a-teen book I have found, after reading quite a few. It is succinct and humorous and covers the situations that really happen to parents and their teen aged kids. This book gives the best advice I've seen on how to reduce conflict, how to avoid unecessary conflict (he gives explicit advice on how and when to pick your battles), and how to handle conflict when it does occur, as sometimes it must. However, this book really convinced me that a lot of parent/teen conflict is unecessary and superfluous to really trying to raise a good kid into a good adult without trashing the relationship and spending several miserable years. It shows how we often react in a way that negates our true intentions, and gives better options for interacting. I have gone back to this book a number of times and I always come away feeling I've gotten advice that I can put into practice with real (and positive) results. I think my son and I are happier and closer as a result of this book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on October 10, 2002
"You will be punished and some day you'll have a teenager just like yourself" These were the prophetic words of my mother, sometimes spoken in jest, sometimes in awe, but mostly in fits of frustration and anger. As a parent through adoption I had some hope that I might be spared the angst I put my parents through."
"But alas, as this book demonstrates, the teenage years are universally challenging due to the developmental issues faced by all those who enter. While "Get out of my life..." doesn't specifically deal with adoption issues, (adoptive parents should read up on the unique complexities that adoption brings to teenagers), this it is a wonderful, matter-of-fact, often lighthearted explanation of the struggles facing both parents and children."
"From failure to participate in chores, to lying about their whereabouts, to sex and drugs, the author normalizes these behaviors and offers sound advice to harried parents. For those embattled parents going through this roller-coaster ride, sitting down with this book feels like a big supportive pat on the shoulder from a kindly professional. This is a must read for all parents - good luck!"
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on September 5, 2002
Many parents of teenagers feel that their world has suddenly been invaded by creatures from another planet. What once was a well-behaved child has suddenly become a disrespectful, obnoxious creature with no consistency or logic whatsoever to their behavior. Anthony Wolf takes us on a wonderful trip to their planet to help us to understand what is going on in their world and why they act the way they do.
Sharing the knowledge that he has accumulated over years of counseling, he shows us that, believe it or not, teenagers often do make perfect sense! With a witty writing style he shows deep insight into why teenagers act the way they do, why girls and boys generally deal with teenage feelings differently, the perils and problems of each and how these fears and feelings manifest themselves in the teenager's actions and language.
Filled with positive advice such as knowing when you have won and need to stop instead of continuing a battle, how to pick your battles, and how not to get sucked into a battle that really has nothing to do with the subject being discussed. Some of the most important points that he makes includes the fact that it is a temporary situation and soon they will be past the teenage years, you will not make the right decision every time and it is okay to make a wrong one, and what you do now does make a difference even though it does not appear to have any effect right now.
A highly recommended book for parents who want to understand what their teenagers are going through and how they can appreciate and help them through those difficult years.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on March 6, 2000
Well, I thought I'd get a lot out of this book, all I really learned is you can't control people and you can't learn how to parent from reading a book.
Most of his examples were realistic of interactions with teens, but his follow through on how to deal with these issues was weak. His approach is less is more. Don't argue with them, tell them what is expected.
He covers the high points, but you really can't learn how to relate to people via a book.
If you truly have problems with your teens and stepkids...go to see a counselor with them. You'd be amazed what they will say when a third party is present that they won't talk about at home.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on January 21, 1999
I'm a teen who happened to read this book. It's all bull. Every teen is different and you cant categorize all of them into one group. And maybe it is you....parents do a lot to influence their kids growing up. Otherwise there wouldn't be so called "good kids " and bad kids....people and ADULTs especially dont even care to find out from us instead you have to read a book thats not even reality! So ask your kid before you try to understand them with a book because then you'll never understand... This book caused me and my rents to drift further not closer!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on December 27, 2001
I would like to give the parents of my teen clients each a copy of this book! The approach is wonderfully realistic, and the humor is very helpful in helping adults reframe some of their teens' infuriating behavior. I'd even like to give it to some of my teens. Only problem is that the kids in this book use language far worse than my juvenile delinquent clients use in the presence of adults. I don't want to offend the parents or give the kids ideas. If kids here started talking to their parents like this, there would be violence. Regional difference?
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on January 2, 2002
Having raised both a teenage son and daughter, I found myself referencing this book quite often. It helped at many different stages of their growing years. It gave me insite into what their thought process was...which enable me to alter my approach. It is difficult for a parent to understand what is on a teenagers'mind when your utmost concern is for their safety. I highly suggest this book...and make sure you keep it on hand ...you will be surprised how often you pick up.
STILL SURVIVING
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on July 3, 1999
My impression, and it comes with the experience of parenting two teens, is that this is just another of the current books that try to boil very complex issues into one or two key factors. The author makes broad generalizations about all teens, and then tells us how to react. Sorry, it's not that easy. Take your kid to a ball game, buy her a malt or go for a walk and just talk. You'll learn so much more than in this book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on October 27, 2011
This audio book helped me to live with my 16 year old. I repeated listening to it once in a while and every time it gives me something more, something that I did not realize before. Since the book has to cover a larger ranger of audiences, not every thing in the book was relavent. But I found what I needed. When you are lost at what to do to live and strive with a teen, every bit you learn is worthwhile.

J.T.
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