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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great suggestions for handling ï¿Quibbling Siblings
This book has so many ideas to try with children of all ages. I'm sure I will continue to consult it as my children get older. I really like the "How To Step In So You Can Step Out" strategy that teaches parents how to intervene by acknowledging the feelings of both kids in the heat of the moment which defuses the situation so the kids can work it out themselves. I like...
Published on Aug. 2 2003

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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Good, but outdated
This book contains excellent ideas, but it's obvious that its 13 years old. The examples are most useful for the traditional family with at-home mom. I found the cartoons and text a little too simple for my tastes. The concept bothered me a bit because the authors assume that all siblings hate each other. My kids do fight, but they are friends, too. For good ideas on...
Published on July 14 2001


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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great suggestions for handling ï¿Quibbling Siblings, Aug. 2 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too (Paperback)
This book has so many ideas to try with children of all ages. I'm sure I will continue to consult it as my children get older. I really like the "How To Step In So You Can Step Out" strategy that teaches parents how to intervene by acknowledging the feelings of both kids in the heat of the moment which defuses the situation so the kids can work it out themselves. I like the simple cartoons that clearly illustrate the communication "do's" and "donï¿ts" with quibbling siblings. I also like the way the discipline tips maintain the dignity of both the parent and the child. When I am able to resist "automatic parenting" reactions like yelling and threatening, and use some of the great techniques I've learned, I feel so much more competent as a parent. Because I have three young children (5, 3, and 2 months), I would like to also recommend a new pocket-sized book that has been very helpful addressing my specific current sibling issues. Appropriately entitled "The Pocket Parent", the entire book is written for parents with normal, but often challenging preschoolers. There are hundreds of short bulleted suggestions addressing sibling issues such as: "the new baby", "comparing and labeling", "sibling rivalry", "hitting and hurting others", "biting", "bad words", "I hate you's", "listening", "power struggles", and "traveling with the kids". These two books with exactly the same discipline philosophy compliment each other--both having great examples of the exact words to try in many sibling situations.
One of the strategies suggested in both books that has really reduced my frustration level is to redefine being "fair" as "meeting each child's needs" rather than focusing on being totally "equal" at all times. This thought is very helpful because my kids seem to always keep score...and I, no matter how hard I try--will often lose! Although it doesn't come naturally, I am learning to change my behavior to address needs. For example, Sunday morning I painstakingly tried to serve the exact same pancake presentation to each of the kids--and my son whined, "Mommy, that's not fa-a-ir!" and he continued to scream that his sister's pancakes were much bigger and browner than his (...in his mind, proof that I love her more). Instead of really losing it and yelling back that he was absolutely wrong, lunging for my ruler to prove it...I PAUSED...And, before I responded, I took a deep breath (...maybe 2 deep breaths) and focused my response on solving the jealousy problem. In total control of the situation, I looked my son directly in his eyes, put my hand gently on his shoulder as I replied in a very calm voice, "Hmmmmmmm. It sounds like you're still hungry, Brian...Here are two more delicious pancakes just for you!" GREAT ADVICE...and it worked!! Bad news...It does take practice, but feels so good when your thoughtful response avoids a no-win power struggle.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A very helpful tool in dealing with your kids, March 12 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too (Paperback)
This book was EXACTLY what I was looking for. In dealing with my two stepsons as well as my own two daughters, ranging in age from one to seven, I felt there HAD to be a way to prevent some of this fierce competitive and unkind nature between kids. I refused to believe there was nothing much we parents could do about it. The perspective it gave in how to treat the children each as individuals, without reference or comparison to their siblings in any way seemed obvious, yet for most of us parents, we do these things unconsciously in various daily situations. I began realizing how even the smallest comments, however well-intended, could induce rivalry between the kids and have found the ideas and suggestions in this book to be of immeasurable value to my family. In some areas, I do feel that it gets a little too extreme to be realistic, however, the main concept behind the advice and suggestions is very helpful.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars easy to understand and follow, Sept. 4 2012
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I found this book full of insigts and helpful strategies for typical daily issues with all children. I would definitely recommend this book as it was recommended to me. I saw amazing things happening with my 5yr & 3yr old daughters. Especially when it came to finding their own way to negotiate what would make them satisfied when they wanted the exact same thing & couldn't both have it. I saw them really proud of themselves that they could come up with their own solution & were given the opportunity to feel their own power in this. It is not always a perfect science or formula each & every time, as we are all human & imperfect, but it gives you tools to work with that can truly improve situations & a way to look at your children in a different light.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book has made such a positive difference in my life!, Feb. 25 2003
This review is from: Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too (Paperback)
I am in love with this book. When my second child was first
born, I read the first chapter or two of this book and found it
very useful for dealing with my older child's jealous behavior.
Now that my second is 1 1/2 and the two children are playing
together and having so many conflicts, I picked the book back
up and read it from cover to cover. There are so many helpful
anecdotes. The book has given me words to handle so many
frustrating situations. It is one of my favorite
books on child-raising!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best Sibling Book Regardless of Age, Jan. 5 2013
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Information in the book is broken down into chapters. Chapters are easy to skip to for specific information needed right away or read from beginning to end for more understanding. Each chapter has lots of real examples of parents learning to use the techniques (rather than parents who already use the techniques) and the changes they see. Each Chapter also has cartoon which quickly illustrates how to use the techniques in the book and a "quick reminder" page that summarizes the chapter. Whether you have a couple minutes or an hour or 2 you could benefit from this book. The information here seems relevant from toddlers right up to teens and has examples of all sibling groups in between.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't live without it!, July 6 2004
By 
Book Mom (Edmond, Oklahoma United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too (Paperback)
I love this book! It is filled with practical advice complete with sketches of common arguements and how to respond. I re-read a chapter every six months as problems arise. You will refer to it again and again. I give it as a "second baby" shower gift and have received RAVE reviews!
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5.0 out of 5 stars The book that I will rearead many times!, Dec 10 2013
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This one talks about many issues such as fighting, comparing, role prescribing etc. The author gives great examples from family situations. It is a great reading for a parent with two or more children and even for those who have just one kid because their kid interacts with other kids.
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5.0 out of 5 stars You thought you knew so much, wait until you read this book, Aug. 9 2013
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When I was pregnant with my second child, I was very worried about this subject, because I have a horrible relationship with my sister, who constantly competes with me, even today. She wants to be the favour child for my parents with a price of scarifying herself to be who she really wants to be.
This book helps me! And it is worth of re-reading it from time to time.
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5.0 out of 5 stars It Really Works, May 24 2013
By 
T. Sameshima (Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
I read this book around 20 yrs ago when I had 3 young kids. I used what I learned on my children & it really works. One of the greatest compliments I get is that people notice how well my kids get along. There is no visible signs of sibling rivalry. For years after reading this book & the other book "how to talk so kids will listen...", I would lie in bed with each child & just listen to them tell me about their day. The house rule was that according to age, each child went to bed 1/2 hr earlier than the next. So I had plenty of time to listen to each child. To this day, my kids still like to tell me their "stuff".
Barbara Coloroso's book is also a "must read". These 3 books were the reason my kids have turned out so great. They are all happily married, two grandkids & more to come. They all actually like coming home every Saturday with their extended families to hang out with us.
Just read the book over & over. If you make a mistake in how you react, don't sweat it. Try again next time or reword your reaction. It seems forced at first but it becomes second nature after a while.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book., Feb. 3 2013
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I bought this for a friend who's children fight constantly and it's a huge worry. She is finding it very helpful. Thank you, excellent service and product.
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