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9 of 13 people found the following review helpful
on January 15, 2003
This book has some practical ideas for talking with kids but I don't feel its useful in many aspects. I personally disagree with its philosophy that you should treat your child the way that you would want a friend to treat you. The example that the book gives for this shows what is wrong with this philosophy. They say that you shouldn't say "I'm so proud of you." Instead you should say "You must be proud of yourself" Why? Because if you had just done something great you would not like it if a friend said "I am so proud of you." You would think that it was strange and wonder why the friend was taling about their feelings. Yeah, that true. But almost everyone I know would LOVE it if their parent said it to them. Why? We all seek the approval of our parents no matter how old we are. The friend/parent relationship is fundamentally different. We know that for any parent, a child's accomplishments make one as happy as anything we could do ourselves. Anyone who doesn't recognize the special relationship between parents and children can't write a fully effective parenting book. This book also fails to accept the fact that kids really need discipline. This does not mean you have to punish a child. I believe that Anthony Wolfe's books which understand the primacy of the parent-child relationship are much better than this one. Dr. Wolf does NOT belive in punishment. He does believe in discipline. If you think those two things are the same, read his books.
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