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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Sex is More Than Physical. This is a Life Enhancing Book!
Note: This is not a book about the actual techniques of sex, but deals with your most powerful sexual organ - your mind.....as he quotes Ann Aldrich, "If the psyche is unwilling, no amount of technique can persuade it; and if the psyche is willing, no lack of technique can dissuade it."
This book is about more than Sex, it is about relationships - married and single...
Published on May 21 2004 by Grass Tiger

versus
3.0 out of 5 stars doesn't discuss oral sex
informative, but not in depth enough, nor give enough stats on how average couples perform.
Published on Aug. 14 1999


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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Sex is More Than Physical. This is a Life Enhancing Book!, May 21 2004
By 
Grass Tiger (Wadsworth, IL United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy (Paperback)
Note: This is not a book about the actual techniques of sex, but deals with your most powerful sexual organ - your mind.....as he quotes Ann Aldrich, "If the psyche is unwilling, no amount of technique can persuade it; and if the psyche is willing, no lack of technique can dissuade it."
This book is about more than Sex, it is about relationships - married and single - religious or not. I am so glad that I did not let the things that I disagree about with Shmuley Boteach to keep me from reading this book. He is a Chasidic Rabbi (Chasidic is Orthodox, but what some incorrectly call "Ultra Orthodox"), though he doesn't really sound like what one might expect (if you are worried about that). Both my husband and I read it and I can't believe what a change it has caused in our lives! We are observant Jews and so we keep the Jewish laws pertaining to family purity which are very rewarding, but this book added insight that was very useful for us. My husband has become more expressive of his affections, we've grown closer together and even our lovemaking is more intimate and enjoyable than ever.
This book isn't only for Jews, but is extremely accessible and candid - and never offensive. He doesn't get into intimate details of the bedroom that one might be embarrassed by. His ideas are very well reasoned and come across as very thoughtful. I found it a thoroughly useful and fascinating book. Most chapters are around 5 pages long. Some shorter, some longer, but they get right to the point and don't go on and on. My attention was sustained throughout. I read a lot of books and am rarely really impressed (especially by books on sex and marriage) and don't recommend books to my friends that often, but this one I've already started recommending. This covers things that my other books on Sex and Marriage (Jewish, Christian or Secular) don't touch or just don't know how to deal with.
Because this book isn't only about sex as the physical act itself I think I aught to give you an idea of the Table of Contents. Part one is "Sex File" with the chapters called, "Lust and Commitment", "Sex and Doing What's Expected", "The Myth of Compatibility", "Sex and Traditional Thought", and "Love, Lust, and Intimacy".
Part Two is "Sexual Techniques: The Mechanics of Sex" with chapters called, "Can Men and Women Really Enjoy Sex Together?", "Is There a Kosher Kama Sutra?", "Your Spouse: A Friend or Lover?", "Is Oral Sex Wrong?", "Married People and Masturbation", "Should Sex Be Used to Mend Bridges?", "Sex, When to Refuse It", "Does Size Matter?", "What about Pornography?", "Lights, On or Off", "Is Prostitution a Safe Option?", "Sadomasochism", and "Orthodox Sex, a Hole in a Sheet?"
Part Three is "Sex for Single People" with chapters called, "Do Singe People Have More Fun?", "Is Marriage a Mere Symbol?", "Career or Marriage?", "Holding Out for the Best", "Choosing a Spouse", What If You Drive Each Other Crazy?", "Why Should We Marry At All?", "Marriage, a Relationship Based on Fragility", and "Why Parental Love Ceases to be Sufficient."
Part Four is "Marriage and Divorce" with chapters called, "Is Divorce Ever a Good Thing?", "Your Spouse's Impossible Flaws", "Adultery, Such Fun?", "Becoming Desirable Again", "Kosher Desires", "Children, Yes or No?", "Do the Children Come First?"
Part Five is "Kosher Sex: A Recipe" with chapters called, "Jealousy", "Mystery", "Romance", "Depth", and "Friends and Family".
The last part is called "The Final Word" with parts called, "Climbing the Mountain", "Checklist for Marriage", and "Kosher Sex in a Nutshell".
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5.0 out of 5 stars A thought provoking book..., May 1 2009
By 
isobella thorn "seeking truth" (Trail, BC, Canada) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy (Paperback)
Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy I found this book to be a surprisingly good read, very clear and reflective of Shmuley's beliefs. It's not too preachy and it addresses mature love and sex and its importance and beauty. It answers a lot of questions your younger friends and children might have, covering many different subjects with heartfelt advice and a good concern for a common well-being.
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5.0 out of 5 stars "Kosher" sex is about motions that produce strong emotions..., Aug. 22 2006
I can't believe how long it took me to finally get around to reading this superb book (is there a ranking higher than five stars). On a semi-long flight, I'd almost finished it off in one sitting, but I hesitated, not wanting to gobble it up in one go. It was precious, meant to be savoured, and absorbed very slowly into the bloodstream.

I'd been meaning to read Rabbi Boteach's books for over five years now, ever since I heard Rabbi Boteach go toe-to-toe intellectually with Larry King (someone else whom I respect highly). Despite the long wait, I wasn't disappointed.

Look, again (as I've said in numerous other spots in my Reviews), I'm not going to tell you what's inside this book. I don't have to, seeing as I'm positive the countless other reviews which you can find here under this listing describe the outline of this book thoroughly, and people have gone into the specifics of what to find inside. I don't wish to repeat what may already be here, and I imagine that I won't do as good of a job as they have -- admittedly, I haven't had a chance to read all of the reviews either. I'm going to laud the high quality of the reviews which I generally find here, and make the necessary presumption.

I think all of us who pick up books like KOSHER SEX are essentially seeking answers. Answers to the things which may have troubled us with our relationships in the past, and we're seeking advice on how to place less of a personal emphasis on meaningless sexual encounters, or the constant state of one-upmanship we play with ourselves in our minds, rationalizing the corrosive things we might do sexually. We need to begin to see the harm it inevitably causes us, our selves, and Boteach points out a way. Not *the* way, but *a* way.

I had many blessed "eureka" moments in reading his narrative, when my simply jaw dropped, saying things aloud like: "That's EXACTLY what I was thinking!" or "So I'm *not* the only person who feels this way?!" Reassuring in the extreme...

Ultimately, my aim has been to learn to become a better father, husand, lover, and partner. While there isn't ONE single book that encapsulates the skills required to do so, I'd have to say in the breadth of titles I've already read on the subject (Jewish, non-Jewish, and everything else in between), this one ranks rather highly up there. In a nation (the US) which seems to pride itself on its soaring (over 50%) divorce rate, books like Boteach's just *scream* out to be read. There is something dreadfully wrong in society in which sexuality is a commodity, and in which -- as Boteach notes -- there is little difference today between the genders which essentially levels the playing field (one advantage), but to the deteriment of the family unit (an even greater disadvantage).

I found myself dog-earing pages and note-taking during my read, something I generally avoid doing as it disrupts my flow. But like I said, Boteach's lines just pulled me in.

Five-stars. Because of this, I'd now like to read the rest of Boteach's books. The time has come.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Orthodox Rabbi has meaningful insights into the joys of sex, Aug. 27 2001
By 
Dr. Robert N. Goldberg "nissen" (Emerald Hills, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
Shmuley Boteach explores intimacy between a man and a woman in a frank and non-judgemental way in this practical yet spiritual look at Jewish teachings on healthy sexual relations. Does having more than one sexual partner make you a better lover, or enable you to make better choices of a spouse? Is it healthy to have sex to make up after an argument without first resolving the conflict? Through addressing questions such as these, the author explodes the idea that sex is just about pleasure or procreation. The picture that emerges makes sense both in secular terms, as well as universal spiritual ones. I would recommend this book to anyone except for religious fundamentalists.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Thank You Rabbi Boteach, April 27 2001
Having seen the Rabbi on various programs and read a variety of articles on the book, I think the main thing to remember, typos and all, is that this is a book that discusses the depths of the sexual human union and that when two people marry, they set upon a path that requires constant care. How often have we heard the jokes about how when someone marries they no longer have sex?
The fact is and the Rabbi is wise to point out, that married couples with a firm religious i.e. G-d in their lives connection can and do have the best sex around. But that with the pressure of raising children, work and everyday stress that sometimes we simply need to stop and look at our lover-spouse with the eyes of a lover. That taking care to please is noted in Judaic teachings. And the idea that Dr Ruth who may be "Jewish" teaches Judaic or healthy sex as another reviewer said is laughable!
And I personally am overjoyed that someone who comes from a "conservative" mode would be so kind as to write a book that Jews and non-Jews could read, learn and enjoy. There are many of us who have been married decades who give thanks to G-d for the Rabbis' effort.
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4.0 out of 5 stars The Complete Goy's Guide to Jewish Sexual Ethics, Jan. 8 2001
(Goy is the Hebrew word for "non-Jew" and is not intended to carry any offense)
I can forgive Rabbi Boteach for his bouncy excess of enthusiasm, in interviews and in person. I can forgive him for going on Howard Stern, becoming famous as Michael Jackson's rabbi... in fact, I can forgive him almost everything, just for this marvellously affirming book.
In Kosher Sex, Boteach lucidly makes his point that, rather than condemn human sexuality, Judaism has traditionally viewed it as the "express lane" to marital contentment.
Boteach has apparently taken it upon himself to repackage the intricate Jewish laws on sexual conduct for the masses, and he has done so astonishingly well. A little short on humility, perhaps, but we knew that already about Boteach's sensationalism and media courtship.
This book is by no means a comprehensive guide to the halacha (Jewish law) pertaining to sexuality. But as an introduction and a philosophical overview, it is masterful and enthusiastic.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful journey into Judaism, Dec 23 2000
By 
Maurizio Giuliano (Sarajevo, Bosnia-Herzegovina) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy (Paperback)
This book by Shmuley Boteach, probably one of the world's best known Hasidic rabbis, is fascinating, entertaining and educating at the same time - also for those who, like myself, are not Jewish. It is very easily readable for anyone, filled with rythm at all times. For those of you who have seen the author speaking or debating (indeed, he has won several prizes as a wonderful debater and preacher), just think: as you read the book, you can virtually figure him talking and speaking, shouting and questioning, attacking and defending views... You will read it within 3 or 4 hours without putting it down !
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5.0 out of 5 stars Enlightened Relationships, June 22 2000
By A Customer
How absolutely refreshing to read a book that focuses on the reality that marriage IS HARD WORK and for any of us to expect success and joy in this commitment we need to rise to the occasion. So many people, including myself have wasted days, months and years in relationships where we wonder why we are not happy and yet continually look outside of ourselves and our marriages for fulfillment and then shake our fist at fate when the union doesn't succeed. This book reminds us like a hammer on the head...to wake-up and get to know the person we have chosen to be in our life and to put the time in to succeed. Boteach has a great sense of humor and comes across as clear as crystal with his belief in humans and their ability to either sabotage a relationship or to keep growing and reinventing the love of their life. It gives me great hope for myself and future generations to know that Boteach and others like him are teachers on how to stay together instead of all the books on ,"Divorce...How to do it yourself! "
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5.0 out of 5 stars Readable, practical and KOSHER!, May 9 2000
By 
S. Behr "Software Developer" (Beit Shemesh, Israel) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy (Paperback)
As a religious Jew, it is very difficult to find anyone who is prepared to tackle sexual issues openly and frankly. It has been an absolute breath of fresh air for me to read this book, and get practical advice on the sexual aspect of my marriage.
I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone, but especially to any other observant Orthodox Jews like myself, who need to be able to confront these issues within the "daled amos" of halacha.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Inspiring!, April 22 2000
By 
Laura Duhan Kaplan (Vancouver BC) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy (Paperback)
From page one, this book's inspirational idealism soars off the page and into your heart! Love, says Boteach, gives us vision - love makes it possible for us to see how each individual person really is special. At the same time, says Boteach, the way to cultivate love is to show those we love how truly special they are to us. In marriage, one way to show love is to save our sexual energy for our spouse alone. For sex has a special role in cultivating love. If we open ourselves to the magic of eros, we come to know our partners' essential selves. For during sex, words, wealth, professional success, fashion sense, you name it, are all irrelevant.
I would quibble with many of the details that emerge in Boteach's case studies, for (1) his perspective is definitely a masculine one and (2) he believes too strongly that committed sex will lead to love and that love almost always will solve serious marital problems.
But if you read the book in order to be set afire by its main point, and don't take it as a step by step manual for marriage, it's a GREAT read. Its magic stuck with me for weeks.
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Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy
Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy by Shmuley Boteach (Paperback - Jan. 18 2000)
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